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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To have told my son he couldn't go home with another boy because his mother has a disability?

116 replies

iammeandyouare · 04/12/2008 18:40

I didn't tell my son that was why he couldn't go, but that is the reason I've said no.

My son came home from school today and said that he has been invited over to his friend's house to play. This boy and my son have been friends since they started school two years ago. He seems a nice enough lad and they get on well. However his mother is blind.

The fact she is blind doesn't bother me, she seems nice enough, but I'll be honest, allowing her to pick my child up from school and walk him home to her house bothers me.

There are just little things such as crossing roads that I am uneasy about, I know that she does it with her own child every day but I am uneasy about letting her do it with mine.

So I have told my son that we are very busy until Christmas and so we'll have to see in the new year, but I am secretly hoping that the invite will be forgotten.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 04/12/2008 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Quadrophenia · 04/12/2008 18:41

seriously?
YABVU poor child and poor mum

IllegallyBrunette · 04/12/2008 18:41

YABVVVVVVU

thexmasstockingmonsterofdoom · 04/12/2008 18:42

YABVU and you dont need me to tell you that.

captainmummy · 04/12/2008 18:42

Ohhhhh. OK.

hmm.

Don't know what to say but I'm sure Blindbint or someone will come along in a mo.

See you then.

FabioTheLiterateCat · 04/12/2008 18:42

You'll get the shit kicked out of you for this one you know.

shitehawk · 04/12/2008 18:42

For heaven's sake.

She manages with her own child; if your son behaves himself and is sensible when crossing roads, there is no problem.

There are blind posters here who manage more than adequately with their children, and who will come and educate you further, I expect. You need it.

coppertop · 04/12/2008 18:42
Hmm
BitOfFunUnderTheMistletoe · 04/12/2008 18:42

Do you need to ask?

ComeOVeneer · 04/12/2008 18:42

I echo twigs sentiments. Oh and strange first post on mn

hippipotami · 04/12/2008 18:43

I think you could have handled it better.
If she was not confident to walk your ds to her house she would not have asked him for tea.
Also, if she was not confident to walk your ds to her house she would have asked you to walk with her.

I think you have done her, your ds, and yourself a disservice.

At the very least you could have chatted to her about the invite and put your mind at rest, instead of dismissing it out of hand.

ChippyMinton · 04/12/2008 18:43

Offer to walk home with them?

MarmadukeScarlet · 04/12/2008 18:43

Yabvu.

Surely if she has been walking her DS to school and back for 2 years she is quite capable of assisting your Ds to do the same thing?

Or do you think your DS will misbehave, run in the road and she won't see him?

hippipotami · 04/12/2008 18:43

First post? REally? Bugger!

pamplemousse · 04/12/2008 18:43

May I be the first to cry
'TROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL'
Get a life

ComeOVeneer · 04/12/2008 18:43

Erm, I think this is a troll ladies!!!!!!

wonderstuff · 04/12/2008 18:45

Sorry I think YABU. She has found ways to cope with her child, and is probably very capable. I would be more up front, give her a call and ask her if she can manage with her ds as well as yours on the way home maybe? But don't just refuse to let your ds play at his friends house, thats not fair.

2pt4kids · 04/12/2008 18:45

YABU
She does it with her own son every day. Do you know if she has a guide dog to help her cross roads? or are you just assuming that she bumbles about just hoping not to get run over?

If you are unsure then the best thing to do is to phone her or chat to her at the school and just say 'DS is not good with roads at all, I'm a bit nervous about him going home with other people' and she should re-assure you.

captainmummy · 04/12/2008 18:45

Of course it's a troll. and a really obvious and tiresome one.

JustKeepSingingCarols · 04/12/2008 18:46

well it's a bit of each.

i mean she obv manages to walk home/cross roads with her ds perfectly safely so that shouldn't worry you at all.
even if he's 'trained' to look after himself, she just has to tell him to watch out for your ds too.

at home, the same applies, she obv looks after him/he is safe/etc. at home - unless you know otherwise???

but i suppose your son might not understand how he might have to behave slightly differently, or might say something rude about her (esp if he picks up on your attitude) which could be embarrassing for him/you.

couldn't you arrange to go too the first time - say something like he's not been to many other houses without you - for a 'settling in' session.
if you are still uncomfortable, with reason, then fair enough, i suppose.
if you aren't, then you've learnt something...

thenewme · 04/12/2008 18:46

YABU

You are mean. And I am the worst for thinking no one can look after my kids as I do.

Please let this be untrue.

[ahock]

thenewme · 04/12/2008 18:46

obviously. Clearly too to type properly.

TheProvincialLady · 04/12/2008 18:46

Couldn't you at least come up with a festive theme for it or something?

JustKeepSingingCarols · 04/12/2008 18:47

doh i have no troll radar

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 04/12/2008 18:47

I hope this is a troll.