To think DS is being ungrateful?

[MrsSnape]

A while ago, DS1 (10) told me he wanted a Wii for christmas. I told him, the only way he'd get a wii is if it was a joint present with his younger brother.

DS2 however never wanted a wii. He is quite happy with his xbox. Everytime I've asked DS2 what he wants for christmas he has said that all he wants is a Guinea Pig and an xbox game. I told him to forget about the guinea pig.

Then, I tried to brainwash him into wanting a wii as I couldn't think of anything else to get him. He reluctantly agreed that he'd 'like' that as a joint present. However, every game he's asked for since has been for xbox still, no wii games so I know deep down he still doesn't want a wii.

DS1 however has been happy in the knowledge that since DS2 'agreed', they would be getting a wii for christmas.

I have since thought that this was a bit unfair on DS2 so I have now decided to get him a guinea pig for christmas and let DS1 have the wii as a main present for himself.

I let DS1 in on the plan and told him he could choose the pig for his brother (which would then be stashed at grandmas house until christmas eve).

DS1 then asked me "that's cool, he'd love that! but what will my main present be?" so I said "I thought you wanted a wii?" so he replied "no, that was a joint present, so apart from that, what will be MY main present?"

I told him a wii is expensive and he should be thankful about getting that. He went a bit quiet but agreed...I can now tell he IS upset that his brother is getting a guinea pig.

I think the way he sees it is that DS2 will still play on the wii yet also gets a special present of his own whilst DS1 'just' gets the wii.

AIBU to work it like this or is he being ungrateful?

My ds1 is 10 and would love a wii, 3 years ago I would have walked across hot coals to get the money together to buy it knowing that he would love it BUT still expect more...Because I spoilt him.
Last year I spent almost £300 on toys, games and other bits and pieces on him...because I had a new baby and didn't want him to think he had been forgotten....BIG and I mean BIG mistake. Material things don't make a child respect you.

This year I set myself a limit, he has hinted at wii, psp, ds, pair of kickers....all sorts he is 10 after all...he has got,,

Pirates of the Carribean figures, lego and playsets. Clothes, mp3 player, excavation kits, watch, and a few other bits a pieces....I had a limit of £50 but have actually spent £58 on him. BUT I know he will enjoy the things I have got him more than 1 big present he has loads of presents with the mp3 player being his main one and that only cost me £4.83p including postage and is brand new.

Personally I would forget the wii and would look at buying books, toys, games etc. There is already one game console in the house why buy more? Give ds1 jobs to do to "earn" pocket money to put towards buying a wii for his birthday or easter.....thats what I am going to do.

I have learnt that spoiling them does not work out for the best always...

MrsSnape - how did Christmas go?? What did you end up doing....??

Have you got the guinea pigs yet??

[PS: Found this OLD thread when I did a search on Guinea Pigs as another poster told me there was a good thread I should read. Found this one and got engrossed in the shall I - shan't I... ]

I think its very sad that DS2 has to accept a gift he clearly doesn't want just because it is what your other son wanted. I hope you managed to sort it out to everyone's satisfaction without causing resentment on the part of DS2. We certainly never entered into these kind of discussions with our at that age. We decided what to buy and it was a surprise on Christmas Day. it's a bit different now because they are much older and will ask for things or money towards more expensive items. But they would still never expect something like a wii between them, let alone for just one.
Suggest next year you make the decision about their gift, based on their individual likes, not a one size fits all solution, and make it a surprise.