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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed with this sexist reading advice sent home from school?

294 replies

morningpaper · 02/12/2008 17:05

"Until the day your daughter expresses an interest in rocket science or your son gets into showjumping, you won?t go far wrong if you try them out with these kinds of books?

Boys...

  • Enjoy books about their interests - especially dinosaur ones!
  • Like books that are a bit scary, funny or have silly jokes.
  • Often have a shorter attention span, so books you can dip in and out of may work better for them. Try comic strip books and non fiction.
  • Prefer big, bold, colourful illustrations or things that can be moved or touched.
  • Like reading to have a purpose, for example books that show you how to make things or tell you about things.

Girls...

  • Enjoy series of books about the same characters.
  • Like to listen to talking books and watch DVDs of favourite books.
  • Enjoy a bit of fantasy, magic and make believe ? princesses, castles and so on.
  • Like sparkle and glitter on the pages.
  • Enjoy books that have props with them ? dolls, soft toys, dressing-up clothes."
OP posts:
NotanOtter · 02/12/2008 21:33

how can you not get wound up by it?

grrrrrr

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 02/12/2008 21:37

Sorry, no.

I agree it's not helpful. I guess we just all choose our own battles. Do carry on fighting yours though. I'll go away now.

TheSmallClanger · 02/12/2008 21:40

It's the deterministic and patronising tone they use that gets my goat. By all means talk about different books that boys and girls might like to read, but don't make out that a) any girl who does want to be a scientist is a bit weird, and b) that all boys have trouble with the concept of reading and need crappy comics from Leapfrog instead.

It sounds horribly smug as well, and smug is never, ever good.

IorekByrnison · 02/12/2008 21:41

Agree. Horrible and depressing.

NotanOtter · 02/12/2008 21:42

clanger yes i agree

i used the word 'patronising' in my email to them!

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 02/12/2008 21:45

why do people have a problem with different genders generally (not always I know) going for a certain type of book??

Ever since DS1 started going to the school library and was given free reign over what books to bring home - yes he brought non-fiction, books he could dip in and out of. He's currently gripped by a book of silly poems, and a book (that DS2 keeps sneaking out of the bookbag to look at) about the weather.

Did all of you "non-genderists" buy little dresses to put your DS's in, and little suits for your DD's??

hunkermunker · 02/12/2008 21:47

MMOC, nationally, boys' handwriting isn't as good as girls'. I suspect that girls stereotypically having a penchant for fluffy pencil cases, glittery pens and double or triple underlining headings in pink, purple AND lemon might have something to do with it.

Which ties us neatly into MP's OP - dontcha think?

AND why can't boys be interested in showjumping, fgs? Have they not heard of the Whitakers?

hunkermunker · 02/12/2008 21:49

I bought DS1 a pink potty and DS2 has a pink CD player, a pink toothbrush and pink sunglasses - and pink binoculars for Christmas. If he wants pink, he can have it - one day he'll probably grow out of it, but till then, it's his favourite colour.

unicorn · 02/12/2008 21:49

MP..
It's an outrage! But, in reality, lazy, thoughtless copy written by someone who probably has no kids.
It shouldn't be allowed to pass without comment though, so I'd let these people know about it....
www.rigb.org/contentControl?action=displayContent&id=00000001145
www.wisecampaign.org.uk/

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 02/12/2008 21:50

oh and I will of course eat my words when DS3 is different and decides to read fairy and princess books when he's older

NotanOtter · 02/12/2008 21:50

non genderists ?

my daughter is really happy since i told her leap frog has mapped out her future and she is going to be a florist

ditto ds is over the moon about brain surgeon

ds2 a little disappointed about his short little span of attention but i soon distracted him with a big bold dinosaur picture

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 02/12/2008 21:51

Hunker, I know boys usually have worse writing than girls.

But what does make me cross is a 7 year old boy being actually told this by a teacher / TA at his school. How on earth is that supposed to make him feel???
If you don't like the leaflet put it in the bin. Or talk to your child about why it's silly. But I can't control what's said in the classroom. And yes, he was bothered by it.

Swedes · 02/12/2008 21:51

Couldn't we send a link to Baroness Susan Greenfield at the House of Lords?

MrsSnape · 02/12/2008 21:52

I would be really annoyed by that. As a little girl there is nothing I would have found more boring and nausiating than a pink book of princesses....bring on the dinosaurs!

Now, my DS1 would probably enjoy the princess books!

Cocoapops · 02/12/2008 21:54

yanbu

girls do like SHIT books though

TheSmallClanger · 02/12/2008 21:55

MMOC, I teach older (16-19) students, mainly boys for one course. I find that their handwriting is either extremely neat or messy, with little middle ground. Girls vary much more.

I appreciate that my students are a small and not-particularly-representative sample, but it is something I've noticed.

EachPeachPearMum · 02/12/2008 22:01

The problem is that this attitude permeates every aspect of the UK today- everything aimed at children is grouped into pretty, sparkly pinky girly stuff or khaki and muddy rufty tufty boys stuff.
It drives me insane

JL is actually one of the better stores interms of toys for both genders- ELC is ridiculous- you can buy a pink toy iron, or a blue toy iron FFS- what is wrong with red, yellow, green etc?

Clothes shops in this country are dire - I usually use continental or US stores for DD now. Started to look at things for DS (due Jan) and it is just as biased- everything for boy babies is pale blue!

I have ranted discussed this on mn previously- and tbh- many parents on here see no problem with it- make-up for 3 year olds, clothes for mini-hos, etc etc

DD loves, loves dollies and lego and her train set- but she gets odd looks when she chooses to play with trains rather than a dolls house.

hunkermunker · 02/12/2008 22:05

EPPM, I have emailed ELC in the past re this very issue - such pukey shades of pink and blue too! And why on earth they think people will want barbecue sets in pink or blue in their garden when red, green, yellow, orange, etc would look far nicer!

MMOC, the teacher/TA shouldn't have said it to him, no - and I'm sorry he was upset. But saying that what MP's angry about wrt this leaflet doesn't matter because of what you're upset about doesn't really make sense - it's perfectly possible to be cross about things in tandem

BennyAndJoon · 02/12/2008 22:05

I am with NAO and MP and the rest

""Until the day your daughter expresses an interest in rocket science" is fucking apalling

in 2008?

wrong wrong wrong

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 02/12/2008 22:07

Hunker, clearly I can't multitask

BennyAndJoon · 02/12/2008 22:07

long time no see

(tis Normafletch btw)

hunkermunker · 02/12/2008 22:10

Ohhhhh, hello, Fletch! Long time no see! But that's my fault, I guess!

MMOC, you can't multitask? You must be a man [is sexist for the purpose of this thread] Try it though, it's fun!

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 02/12/2008 22:10

well god knows what most of you would think of my DS's then - they choose everything that one would stereotypically associate with being "boys", DS2 chose party plates/napkins etc that his friends who were girls would like (so shyed away from the racing cars which DS1 was trying to persaude him to get). DS1 wants to be a F1 mechanic when he grows up (now if only I could get him to sit and do his maths homework so he stands of chance of doing that )

And interestingly most of their friends (of both sexes) generally go towards the stereotypical colours/toys for their gender. Not to say that they don't happoly play with other stuff, but given a chance the girls would rather dress up in a princess dress

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 02/12/2008 22:12
nooka · 02/12/2008 22:14

Totally agree Peachy. I am happy for my dd to wear pink so long as the style is appropriate for a little girl (ie not tarty) and can cope with wrestling, country walks, cold weather etc. ie is not disabling to her being first and foremost a child. So long as pink is what she chooses to wear (and it suits her colouring). I don't even mind her venturing down the "pink" isle (well OK I do, but I have learnt to tolerate it) but I do object to her dreams and asperations being pink, so long as that means excluding lots of options that she might actually enjoy and excel at. Currently she wants to be a farmer, with horses and a shop (with art gallery), and she is going to have all her friends help her. Which is fine (would involve a lot of hard work though!). There was a point however when she (and ds) dismissed many options because girls don't do them. I think the risk of all the girly fluff is that our daughters will start thinking they are fluff. I'm less worried about my son because he is fairly oblivious to external ideas as to his future or aware of what he is wearing, and his reading matter has always been a bit limited (although now he is getting adventurous).

But what you read is important and shouldn't be reduced to rubbish.

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