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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed with this sexist reading advice sent home from school?

294 replies

morningpaper · 02/12/2008 17:05

"Until the day your daughter expresses an interest in rocket science or your son gets into showjumping, you won?t go far wrong if you try them out with these kinds of books?

Boys...

  • Enjoy books about their interests - especially dinosaur ones!
  • Like books that are a bit scary, funny or have silly jokes.
  • Often have a shorter attention span, so books you can dip in and out of may work better for them. Try comic strip books and non fiction.
  • Prefer big, bold, colourful illustrations or things that can be moved or touched.
  • Like reading to have a purpose, for example books that show you how to make things or tell you about things.

Girls...

  • Enjoy series of books about the same characters.
  • Like to listen to talking books and watch DVDs of favourite books.
  • Enjoy a bit of fantasy, magic and make believe ? princesses, castles and so on.
  • Like sparkle and glitter on the pages.
  • Enjoy books that have props with them ? dolls, soft toys, dressing-up clothes."
OP posts:
Original poster
morningpaper · 02/12/2008 20:48

I HAVE asked them

I am VERY INTERESTED in their reply

I also hate the way the page is titled "LET BOYS BE BOYS!" as though all of us NASTY middle-class PC mummies are FORCING THEM to be... what? girls? Making them clean, or something, I assume?

OP posts:
Ronaldinhio · 02/12/2008 20:51

My giddy aunt

I'd go spare if this was sent to my home. In the stlyie of a berserker (male)

noonki · 02/12/2008 20:52

Dear Sir or Madam

I am writing to complain about your 'Love to Read campaign'. I am all for
getting kids to read and applaud that your company is making efforts towards
this. But I have been completely shocked at the 'Let boys be boys and girls be
girls'section. What sort of old fashioned sexist twaddle is that?

My sons are 12, three and 18 months. They love reading a wide range of material.
My 12 year old has requested 2 talking books for christmas. My 3 year old adores
anything about princesses, castles and magic and loves glitter. My 18 month old
lights up everytime we read a Spot book, which is apparently something girls
do?

When I was a girl I was obsessed by dinosaurs and had a terribly short attention
span.

The message you are sending out is absolutely terrible. Firstly it is sexist, as
it pigeonholes girl and boy reading behaviour, into set 'boxes' that not all
children fall into. Second it reinforces the ever growing pressure placed on
girls to like princess and all things glittery, and boys as being short
attention spanned and not to be pushed with complex books. Thirdly it will
start parents into thinking it is right to limit their children in this way.

I am shocked to hear that some schools have been handing out this material and
strongly urge you to reconsider this as it is sending out a very poor message
about your companies understanding of education. As your company claims it's
products are educational I would worry that this could greatly damage your
reputation.

Looking forward to your reply

Your sincerely

noonki

I wanted to add ffs in it grrrrrr

Fennel · 02/12/2008 20:52

According to that list my 3 dds are all actually boys. even my girly one, dd3, requested a glitter-free book about space tonight for bedtime.

Rocket science is quite popular here, DP is a physicist, he builds rockets and similar with the dds. they love it.

noonki · 02/12/2008 20:54

probably they will read my email and laugh at all my grammatical errors....

if only I had read those princess stories

Umlellala · 02/12/2008 20:56

Yes, I agree. The 'let boys be boys' sentiment and the first sentence are appalling

unfortunately, ther content is based on research (and that's a whole other nature/nurture debate). I would prob have only been mildly rankled had it said
many or lots of boys like...
*dinosaurs bla bla

many or lots of girls like...
*pink sparkly

It's just so deterministic (if that is actually a word ).

bramblebooks · 02/12/2008 20:57

to put a small spanner in the works, the info listed in the op is reflective of general reading preferences amongst girls and boys (and I know this as I've read up to date research papers as part of my masters in ed). However, it doesn't mean that all of them will like the same thing and was unfortunately presented to say the least!

Maybe it was a misguided effort at helping people to key in to techniques which could have helped reluctant readers to get going.

Original poster
morningpaper · 02/12/2008 20:58

yes umle

If it was presented as "Girls may..." Or "With girls you might like to try..."

Rather than "Girls? Rockets! How absurd!"

OP posts:
bramblebooks · 02/12/2008 21:00

Said so much better by umellala!

Umlellala · 02/12/2008 21:01

(would still have prob pissed me off mind )

hatwoman · 02/12/2008 21:01

I so agree unlellela.

good letter noonki.

let's have some more

annoyingdevil · 02/12/2008 21:01

Yes, of course children are drawn to gender specific interests - they're forced down their throats as soon as they take their first steps.

noonki · 02/12/2008 21:04

I agree umle

give suggestions then if you are having problems,

for example
boys:
Often have a shorter attention span, so books you can dip in and out of may work better for them. Try comic strip books and non fiction.

errr not all of them. My DSS spends hours reading all sorts of different books and I would have hated it if we pigeonhole him into types.

blithedance · 02/12/2008 21:06

If we get that from school I will send it back in little pieces... no... origami'd into a rocket. I nearly WAS a rocket scientist (well I had an interview where they make jet engines.)

It was bad enough getting the Extremely Obvious Points on Bedtime Stories from Huggies Dri-nights.

solidgoldbrass · 02/12/2008 21:06

I'd complain to the school as well. And discuss it with the other parents.
I complained to DS's nursery when they gave out a free pack of shitty diet food for Mummies who haven't got time to Diet (ie don;t let yourself go, you fat cow...) with slimming club leaflets.

annoyingdevil · 02/12/2008 21:07

So, if girls today are supposedly hard wired to desire pink & sparkly, how come this wasn't the case in the 60s/70s?. I didn't own a single item of pink clothing until I turned 18. Girls toys were not pink

hester · 02/12/2008 21:14

I think that is awful. dd is into trains, tractors, kittens, faiires and pirates. Her favourite colours are pink and purple and her favourite toys are diggers. All good with me, but I cannot tell you how many comments I get about her being a tomboy. She is just turned 3, FFS. I have even had the experience of taking her into a toyshop and the sales assistant trying to stop her from looking at a display of tractors: "No, these aren't for you", he said. When I protested, he told me: "I'm just trying to help you". HELP me?? (Guess who went home with a tractor...)

ravenAK · 02/12/2008 21:16

Possibly because it's virtually impossible to buy an item of clothing in a high street store for a baby girl that isn't screaming 'I'm PINK, me. With GLITTER'

Whereas baby photos of me in the early 70s show a great deal of lime green, orange & brown...

Seriously, it's appalling.

Thanks MP for the 'heads up' - email of protest being drafted...

GinghamRibbon · 02/12/2008 21:18

I think that the op needs a hobby.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 02/12/2008 21:22

Sorry everyone, I'm failing to get too upset about this.

What does bother me is that my son has been told to join "the boys' writing club" at school because his writing isn't very good, and moreover, someone at the school has told him that it's a club for boys because "girls are better at writing than boys".

So yes, I can be a bit about what is written on a piece of marketing materials, but frankly, when it comes to teaching boys, there are far bigger issues, and much more practical problems, that are having a real impact on my child. Now that's what makes me sad and cross. And getting whoever it is to change their print isn't going to make any practical difference.

Now if you could work out how to really change how boys are taught in schools, I'd be behind you all the way.

mm22bys · 02/12/2008 21:25

YANBU.

Saw a great "game" in John Lewis yesterday - the "winner" is the player who gets to look in the eyes of her prince first!!!!

Tragic in this day and age...

noonki · 02/12/2008 21:27

but mary - don't you see that if this is what the schools are giving out as acceptable literature as ways to improve reading that it is sending out a very strong message that the schools believe that this is how boys ought to be taught to read.

And it's wrong.

noonki · 02/12/2008 21:28

oh don't even get me started on frigging John Lewis - the sexist advertising crap for toys that came through my door was enough to make me never shop there again.

(not that I do tbh but it is our nearest shop!)

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 02/12/2008 21:29

sorry I can't get worked up about it. I'mn not fussy what my DS's read/play with/enjoying watching etc. But I am now in the process of going through the bookshelf (and many boxes) of books I had when I was younger to sell on ebay - as my DS's have shown no interest in them whatsoever, even DS2 (who is only just starting the basics of reading) pulls the stereotypical "boy" stories off the shelf.....the ones that would fit the description on that guide as being for girls have been sat gathering dust for years - any efforts to get them off the shelf to encourage my DS's to read/look at them have been in vain.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 02/12/2008 21:32

Apart from the opening sentence, which is clearly a problem (but frankly in this world I've seen worse) it just seems to be saying "if you child isn't in to big "proper" books don't worry and try them with something a little more lighthearted".

I just can't get that wound up about it. I'm more interested in how schools do actually teach boys and girls differently, rather than the messages "they" put out about it, if you see what I mean.