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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my triplets eating chocolate???

61 replies

Timesofhope · 01/12/2008 21:00

My triplets are now 3 months old and with christmas coming up my mother-in-law keeps saying that she has bought them white chocolate and they will be eating it at christmas. She also gave one of them a little chocolate icing from a cake yesterday which really annoyed me as me and the OH don't want them eating chocolate just yet.

We did speak out and ask her to please not give any of them chocolate but she won't listen and just started an argument about the whole thing. I have also read that solid food should not be given at all until 4 months so this has annoyed me as well. She really can't respect our wishes and keeps doing things that we are not happy with and having a go at us for asking her not to.

Is it so difficult to just do as we ask?!

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 01/12/2008 21:01

guidelines are to start solid food at SIX months.
so, they shouldn't be having anything, let alone chocolate.

would make me angry too.

TheFalconInThePearTree · 01/12/2008 21:02

YANBU. They shouldn't be having any solids at this age and certainly not chocolate. 6 months is the recommended age for introducing solids.

thenewme · 01/12/2008 21:02

Keep the mad loon away from your children.

They should be having milk and only milk, not bloody milk chocolate.

Physically stop her given them food if you have too.

I know of someone with severe excema because they decided to feed their child completely inappropriate food at too young an age.

YANBU

Mung · 01/12/2008 21:05

Your MIL needs a firm talking to. I would make it clear that if she doesn't play by your rules with your children then she wont be left alone with them (probably a bit of biting off your nose to spite your face though, as I imagine that with triplets you want all the help you can get).

Good luck...she sounds stubborn.

Libra1975 · 01/12/2008 21:05

Usually I think people are too harsh on GPs, GPs jobs are too spoil their GC however in this instance you are not being unreasonable AT ALL. You need to get your DH to talk to your MIL again and outline this behaviour is unacceptable.

wideratthehips · 01/12/2008 21:07

they will be eating it??? over my dead body i would say how dare she! suggests she is a danger to the childrens health and you will be baning her until they are on solids (okay a bit ott) but i would have steam coming out my ears about this. its not garanny giving dc a biscuit before supper..they are tiny babies!

silentnightplease · 01/12/2008 21:08

The point is, whatever you don't want them to have is up to you and she should respect that.

Why are GPs in such a hurry to shove crap down DGCs throats?!

geordieminx · 01/12/2008 21:12

Definately not being unreasonable - I would guess that they were prem, so will be a we bit "behind" so definately not ready for solids for months yet - let alone chocolate.

Original poster
Timesofhope · 01/12/2008 21:15

We have already decided that the girls won't be left alone with her until we feel we can trust her, which right now feels like never, even though she has already been asking us when will they be allowed out by themselves?

This is along with her moaning that they havn't been to her house yet (shes never there so whats the point?), that we should be putting them into clothes and not sleepsuits (they are still too little the clothes are too big), and she constantly says things like 'your mummy loves you' but refering to herself as mummy! She keeps making this 'mistake' but really it feels like she would rather be mum and not me who she still treats like a small child herself.

Even my DP is fed up so much so that he doesn't want to go to his own birthday dinner this weekend!

OP posts:
geordieminx · 01/12/2008 21:22

You need to add some pics to your profile so we can all coo over your triplets! What weights were they born?

quickdrawmcgraw · 01/12/2008 21:23

'your mummy loves you' but refering to herself as mummy!

wideratthehips · 01/12/2008 21:24

oh dear she sounds rather peculiar...is she funny about other things?, hope your dp is acting as a buffer between the two of you

keep your little ones in sleepsuits etc for as long as you want...well i do anyway...it always seems a bit weird dressing them up like little dolls in trousers etc at 3 months (please no one take offence at this). lots of lovely baby whites in this house.

TheSmallClanger · 01/12/2008 21:24

She sounds a bit mad, TBH. Can your DH not talk to her?
It will sound better coming from him and will save you from demon DIL-dom.

zazen · 01/12/2008 21:33

Slap her hand! And eat the chocolate yourself in front of her.

Really!

Our DD had her first chocolate at two and a half - we used chocolate white buttons as rewards for a very fraught potty training. First milk at 18 months. Both my Mum and MIL wanted to give her sweets and chocs (so that she would like them). I was glad we didn't allow them.

StealthPolarBear · 01/12/2008 21:43

Would your MIL respond to a "things have changed" talk - i.e. whatever she did when your DH was small is no longer the case?
BTW I'm full of admiration for you having 3 mo triplets and time to MN

Original poster
Timesofhope · 01/12/2008 21:45

Just added a couple of photos to my profile! They weighed 4lb 10, 4lb 12 and 4lb 14 at birth.

And yes she is funny about other things such as if she hasn't held all three she has to get a hold of them and if she doesn't she starts saying things like 'i'm not allowed to hold my grandchildren' which is nonsense - and we have never stopped her seeing them but we don't drive so we can't keep ferrying ourselves around on public transport when she is only 5 mins away by car.

Dp can't talk to her - it just ends in an argument because she cannot accept that she could be wrong about something. I try to make her feel useful by asking her advice on certain things but I think shes a bit put out by the fact that we don't need loads of help.

It also doesn't help that our 3 are the first girls on that side of the family for a generation - my MIL had 2 boys and her sisters had boys only. So its a bit of a novelty IYSWIM.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 01/12/2008 21:47

Ahhh they're lovely
They look a good size for 3 month olds - they obviously caught up!

MatNanPlus · 01/12/2008 21:48

Beautiful babies Times

@ MIL...grrrrrr

quickdrawmcgraw · 01/12/2008 21:50

They're sweeet! and very healthy looking 3 month olds.
At least your dp is on your side so hopefully you'll be able to tackle her 'ishoos' together.

geordieminx · 01/12/2008 21:54

They are gorgeous!!!

Can I be really cheeky and ask if you conceived them naturally?

Parsleypants · 01/12/2008 21:54

They are gorgeous! Lovely names as well. Timesofhope, you are a lucky lady! Your MIL is being v unreasonable btw!

nappymumy · 01/12/2008 21:56

Tell her to stuck the choclate up in her nose.Is she mad????Solids can be given to babys over 4 months if they are bottle feed(and I don't think you brest feed you lovely team);)

girliefriend · 01/12/2008 21:57

just cooed at pics - they are gorgeous! I am compleatly in awe of you and you are only 25!! Would def keep mad mil at arms length and stick to you guns re weaning, follow your instincts. XxX

girlandboy · 01/12/2008 21:57

Oh they are gorgeous! Congratulations

As for your mil - she sounds spookily similar to mine!

My mil kept saying while I was pregnant "when you go back to work I will have the baby". Even though she knew I had no intention of going back to work. She kept pushing, pushing, pushing.

When dd came along, she would take her into the bedroom, away from us all, to play with her in private. It drove me mad, but eventually dh had a word with her, and that little habit got stopped.

Dd is 13 now, and unfortunately mil is still up to her old tricks. Madder by the day!

You may well not be able to change your mil's ways, but she certainly needs a quiet word. Easier said than done I know! I'm still having "words" with mine almost on a monthly basis.

thisisyesterday · 01/12/2008 21:58

timesofhope, the holding all 3 I can totally understand!
I would feel bad if I had only held one or two of them. that feels so strange to write when talking about someone's babies lol

I would def need to cuddle each of them.
they're gorgeous btw!