to really dislike the bloody schoolrun

[schoolrunfun]

I go through phases of actually hating the schoolrun and it makes me a really down in the dumps. I think it is all the politcs, having to talk to other parents even when you can't be arsed and the my child is better than your child etc etc.

AIBU to sometimes want to get a job just to avoid the schoolrun?

I dread the school run. I just hate being fake. For instance, if youv'e had a shitty morning with difficult kids or against the clock, you then have to go to school and be all smiley or sport a miserable face and then they think your moody.

Then like others have said, it's the small talk which irritates me.

Also, I'm naturally chatty and not shy and I find it's me who generally strikes up a conversation. Why should I? Sometimes Iv'e stood there and not made the first move to talk, you know give people a chance to make conversation just incase I am overbearing and it's like pulling teeth. It feels really awkward, they seem embarrased? Thankfully, there are a few who are easy to be with.

Tbh, I've gone past caring now and only have until July to drop off at door. After that DD can run from the gate into the classroom and I won't see any parents! Yippeee

I find the journey tedious but quite like chatting to the other mums. There are all sorts of cliques based on racial/religious lines and as I know people in every group I have very varied conversations with everyone whereby I have to make sure I respect the differences IYSWIM. But I do find I am developing quite a split personality.

I never thought I'd say this - but I'm missing the school run at the moment. Having moved house over 400 miles earlier this year, I've found it very difficult to make friends, even though I've been going out to join groups/classes etc.

It struck me afresh tonight that all my old friends I owe to having the children - they're people I met through the NCT or at the school gates - and when the boys were small, inviting a friend over often meant inviting the mum (and any younger siblings too) which made getting to know people very easy.

That said, I'm probably being a bit rose-tinted spectacles about it - forgetting the politics and the standing around in the cold, wet playground waiting for my ds's who were invariably last out!

I have always dropped/collected at out of school club but recently have been doing the school drop off. I have no interest in gossip, small talk or any exchanges other than perfunctory 'damn it's cold' or 'they are late today.

I smile at faces I recognise but neither hate nor particularly enjoy it beyond haveing a good chat with ds on the way there/home.

I am sorry that others' find it a stress.

I like it at the moment but have the novelty of a new school after 5 years at another one as DD has just left to go to Middle school and DS has just started a new first school. It really isn't far from the old school but it has a very different feel to it, much friendlier and I am enjoying going, whereas I got to the stage with the other school where it was annoying me. So I think people's experiences depend a lot on the school.

I enjoy the school run, I love talking to other mums. I occasionally have crap days when I feel people aren't very friendly and that pisses me off but on the whole I love the brisk walk and the socialising.

I used to be quite shy but in the last few years have forced myself to get over myself. It's hard but it's worth it. I honestly think that so long as I'm friendly and approachable and don't snog any of the other mum's husbands, it's up to others what they think of me. End of.

I LOVE the chatting in the playground; the walking back holding a little warm hand hearing all about their day. I have bags of My friends (i.e. not just people I am nice to cos we have kids in common) in the playground and it is a really nice way to start/end the day on the days I am not working.

I hate trying to park/negotiating my way out of tiny streets with 100s of other cars. I would like to walk more often but we live 1 and 1/2 miles away up an extremely steep hill and my 4 yo is not a good enough walker yet. Another year and we will be walking at least once a day.

I hate it too because I don't fit in...everyone has been really friendly to me but I feel like I'm not up to their expectations, they keep asking me to nights out and such and I can't do it.

Ds is great at making friends but I am not very confident. I'm always afraid they're talking about me.

I really don't get the angst
You turn up as the school bell rings, wave off/hug your offspring and dissapear to arrive back a good few hours later and do it again

All this clique/handbag envy/book level hand wringing ????

I sometimes arrive a few minutes early and will do the smalltalk bit, and will happily admit to being knackered/hungover

[shrug]

Its just like going to a local shop... and you don't need a special dress

But it's just like going to work isn't it? And there you have to spend all day with people who are bitchy/don't like your handbag/get caught up in politics etc. It's how group dynamics work.

Join in/don't join in. Make friends/don't make friends. Whatever floats your boat.

Actually I quite like it. But then I work from home and do most business communicating via email, so especially as dh is frequently working away it's often the only opportunity I get to talk to another adult/get any exercise.

i quite enjoy it too
lots of people are v nice
no competitive mum shit
and anyway...its not about me, its about the kids, surely?

i have been quite inward looking/paranoid/insecure during a bout of the old PND... but hey, it turns out that all of that was MY issue, and everyone else there... they have their own lives to be concerned about. they arent judging and looking down on you in reality.

hope those of you having a bad time of it can relax and get some perspective and enjoy it more soon

I agree it is like going to work.
I personally don't like the routine or the journey and my dd is often quite touchy after school. I love the hols when I don't have to do it!

But the school run is good because I do like being in touch with the school, the teachers, the other kids and parents. I have not noticed any cliques. I find most of the kids delightful and most of the parents are friendly even if not all are chatty. The parent network is very useful as somebody will always know how to do stuff eg recommending a plumber etc. I have met some fab parents who I like to see socially both with and without their kids... they brighten up my life and are a real source of support. Doing the school run links me into the community a bit more and overall I think this is a good thing.

YANBU. Avoiding the school run is in the top ten of reasons to get a job!

I like it, and find it nothing like going to work (which I also like).

Noone at our school discusses attainment levels or reading stage or anything like that. It doesn't seem at all bitchy. No politics either. Just lots of people being friendly and chatty. And the occasional Fit Friendly Dad.

We've been new at 3 primary schools in the last 4 years and each time people have been friendly and welcoming to us in the playground.

Like Fennel, I find the schoolrun is nothing like going to work. Maybe similar to the commuting bit - with all the getting there and back and standing around with half familiar faces, that's it. But at least I can bury my nose in a book or paper on the train - which is quite nice.

Agree with findtheriver - one of the good things about going to work is avoiding the school run.

Seeing and being with my dd is the best part of the schoolrun. But I can think of lots of better settings to be with her.

I love the schoolrun (1mile walk whatever the weather). I need it to calm down after 1 hour of screaming at the children to get ready on time so we can actually walk and not run. Usually, by the time we reach school, more or less on time, I am my nice self again and have a chat to other mums is a real treat as most of them are really nice and friendly. But I suppose if I did not get along with them it would be quite an ordeal so YANBU.

YANBU really. I find the school run is often the most stressful bit of the day and can at times make me feel extremely anxious. Just the logistics of getting all three of mine into the car, out of the care, inot the car and out of the car again quite overwhelming. I could walk it but it'd be too far for DD to walk home once I've got her (school doesn't end til four, so she's tired, too). Don't care much for playground snobbery or bitchiness, but if the few people I've got to know well and feel comfortable with are not there it is a bit bleak.

I don't mind it.

RetiredGoth2's post from yesterday pretty much sums up my puzzlement also at why so many people on mn find this so hard.

I just don't get into politics/other parents etc nor do I want to really.

I'm not even too sure there actually is any politics to get into. Maybe there is and I'm blissfully unaware.

They seem an ok bunch of people. Don't have strong feelings one way or another tbh.

I just say 'hi' to anyone I pass, keep moving, kiss(the dc, not the other parents), drop and run.

I love my school run. It's never been a chore, even when BabyDragon was 4 days old and I've never had a problem with cliqueyness or politics.

What excatly is a school run? My son is only 17m so have not come across this phenomenon yet. Why is there enforced talking involved?

Isn't is just a case of taking child to school and coming home again - forgive my simple naivity (sp?)

ilovejonty you need to wait with your child for school to begin and again to wait for your child after school. There is no enforced talking. If you wish you may pass the time of day with the parents of other children and friendships/other relationships may develop.

It is likely that some people will talk to you but you will not be forced to respond!