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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my husband can damm well make sure he is home for 7 pm

35 replies

Reallytired · 28/11/2008 14:17

I am pregnant and I have got breast thrush. I am in absolute agony and my nipples itch like mad. My breasts feel as if they are on fire.

I have a late evening appointment at the GP at 7.20pm and I need my husband to be home to look after my six year old son.

My husband is complaining that he is at serious risk of redunancy and could lose his job if he leaves work slightly earlier than usual. He would only have to leave work twenty minutes early and its a one off.

I really don't want my son with me in the consulting room when I see the GP about thrush. It would be embarrassing to have him with me. I would prefer to leave my son at home.

Its really hard to see the GP earlier in the day as I work full time in a school. Its really hard to get time off during term time. I was hoping to get an appointment today as its an occassional day, but my GP is on holiday and our practice has a policy of only letting you see your GP for non emergency things.

OP posts:
onepieceoflollipop · 28/11/2008 14:20

Is your dh normally a reasonable man? If my dh said this to me, I would take him seriously.

I am sorry to hear you feel so unwell. Is there another way round this? Could your ds stay with a friend. Could you ring the surgery and ask if he could wait quietly with the receptionish just while you are in with the doctor?

Cloudhopper · 28/11/2008 14:22

Poor you. It is really hard to understand whether he is exaggerating or genuinely worried. Some workplaces are really bad for leaving early though - my brother used to say he would get the sack if he left before 6.

kif · 28/11/2008 14:23

i felt anxious about going for a smear test with my 2 year old (not a position i want him to see me in!) . It was fine though = the doctor had like a two room office. she chatted in the front bit then we went to the other room for examination. At 6, he could be left reading a book in the waiting room.

redundancy is very scary - be gentle with your man

TotalChaos · 28/11/2008 14:23

YANBU. Sounds like DH is extremely stressed about job security so cannot see the wood for the trees at the moment. Leaving work 20 minutes early as a one off will not make the blindest bit of difference.

ithinkimtallandblonde · 28/11/2008 14:24

Sorry Yabu theres no way my dh or i can leave work early, your son could come with you if my dh told me he may be at risk of redundancy then i'd take him seriously. Unless your husband is a complete drama queen.

Rhubarb · 28/11/2008 14:25

I've left my dd with the receptionist before now when I've been having a smear. Sometimes you are left with very little choice.

ithinkimtallandblonde · 28/11/2008 14:25

Also the dr's has a curtain bit where they can examine you, if you mention it to the dr's rhey will be very discreet so i wouldn't worry

Original poster
Reallytired · 28/11/2008 14:26

My dh is lovely, he is very stressed and I think he is being bullied. He puts in loads of hours.

I could ask my in laws, but I would have to change the appointment and wait another week as my son can be quite challenging when he is tired. My son can be next to impossible at 7pm.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 28/11/2008 14:28

Bribery? You say to your ds, that this appt is important and he needs to be on his best behaviour. If he is then he can have a treat afterwards, if he isn't then you'll book him in for an injection!

ithinkimtallandblonde · 28/11/2008 14:29

your midwife can prescribe you daktarin as well you know, give them a ring.

Original poster
Reallytired · 28/11/2008 14:29

"At 6, he could be left reading a book in the waiting room. "

No, maybe that is true of the g&t mumsnetters, but the average six year old needs to be looked after. Certainly asking a six year old to read a book when they are tired is asking for trouble.

Given some of the characters who come into a doctors' surgery I would not leave my son unattended at six years old.

OP posts:
onepieceoflollipop · 28/11/2008 14:29

Don't leave it for another week. It sounds as if both you and your dh are stressed.

I would suggest a treat for your ds during and after your appt. Needs must in this type of situation.

rookiemater · 28/11/2008 14:30

Ok I can understand why you are upset, you are in a lot of pain and it's not ideal to take your DC to your appointment.

However if your DH is not contracted to finish a certain time and this would require him to leave 20 minutes early then YABU, particularly if he is worried about work atm. It's true that a one off emergency shouldn't impact on his employment prospects, but in this day and age it is best not to take the chance unless it is a genuine emergency. In this case it's not, its a preference to not have your son at your appointment, albeit a very reasonable preference. Do you know a neighbour who could look after him or as Rhubarb says would he stay with the receptionist ?

rookiemater · 28/11/2008 14:30

Ok I can understand why you are upset, you are in a lot of pain and it's not ideal to take your DC to your appointment.

However if your DH is not contracted to finish a certain time and this would require him to leave 20 minutes early then YABU, particularly if he is worried about work atm. It's true that a one off emergency shouldn't impact on his employment prospects, but in this day and age it is best not to take the chance unless it is a genuine emergency. In this case it's not, its a preference to not have your son at your appointment, albeit a very reasonable preference. Do you know a neighbour who could look after him or as Rhubarb says would he stay with the receptionist ?

rookiemater · 28/11/2008 14:31

Oops not good eough to be said twice. Agree with others don't cancel the appointment, bribe bribe bribe DS. Even if he has to come in with you, if you are behind the curtain then he won't see a thing anyway.

onepieceoflollipop · 28/11/2008 14:32

Or ring the surgery and say that you are pregnant and need an earlier appt and due to your pregnancy you really can't wait until 7.20pm. Ask if you can speak to dr/practice nurse/mw on the telephone. It may be possible to get a prescription without seeing the GP.

ithinkimtallandblonde · 28/11/2008 14:34

Reallytired, i don't think they suggested you left him alone, just that the receptionist could keep an eye on him and at six reading a book for 5 mins should be possible espescially with the promise of a treat as someone mentioned.

mumblechum · 28/11/2008 14:34

Seems like the bottom line is you'll just have to work out a way to manage without your dh. I'm sure you'll be fine, your ds can surely sit quietly for 5 minutes with a book or something?

judgenutmeg · 28/11/2008 14:34

Ca your dh pick up your ds from the Dr's just before your appt? Will that timing work?

mazzystartled · 28/11/2008 14:35

i can understand why you are upset, but there are other solutions

let your in-laws have him, you will only be away for 45 mins and they are his grandparents. they will cope. provide extensive bribes treats

or put him to bed early

ithinkimtallandblonde · 28/11/2008 14:36

G&T mumble chum?

DeckHallsWithFIMBOughsofHolly · 28/11/2008 14:37

I am often in this suggestion - my relatives live over 800 miles away from us and my two closest friends have also moved away. I never have childcare and have crankiness to deal with too. I also have an elder child

I would have no option but to take my ds - my dr has toys in his room that my ds would be happy to play with. I could talk about allsorts and it would go over my ds's head if he has something to play with.

mazzystartled · 28/11/2008 14:37

or go to the out of hours doctors later this evening, or over the weekend

DeckHallsWithFIMBOughsofHolly · 28/11/2008 14:37

suggestion! = should be situation

mayorquimby · 28/11/2008 14:38

which will affect your life worse. missing this appointment and reschuduling or dh being made redundant?
yabu, it's not like he wants to stay at work for the craic or to spite you.