To think it is a bit rude not to say thank you for birthday (and Christmas) presents?

[ohdearwhatamess]

I'm a bit scred to enter the AIBU area, but here goes....

One of my nieces has recently had a birthday. I sent a card and present. Neither her nor my SIL (or BIL for that matter) have phoned to say thank-you, and they never do. There are 4 children, which adds up to a lot of presents in a year.

I like picking out a gift that I think they'll like, and I try to put some thought into it (which doesn't happen the other way round, but that's another story).

Is this normal behaviour now? I wouldn't expect a letter or card (although I'd be really touched to receive one), just a quick call or an email.

scared not scred, obviously

oh, don't get me started, my db and sil never thank us for gifts either and, as we are 200-odd miles away it means we are never sure if they actually received the present. I have given up phoning to ask if they got them now, tbh.

YANBU this happens all the time with one family group in our extended family and as we live too far away to give it to them in person we have to post it and can never be sure it actually arrived. They are just the types to take offence if they thought we had forgotten as well.

Is really bad manners in my book, doesn't take that long does it?

Snap Flier!

It is rather rude in my book, but does sound like its just the way they are.

I don't like to phone and say 'did it arrive', although I have done a few times in the past, because I feel like I'm fishing for a 'thank you'.

Yanbu however i must admit to being shit with cards or anything to do wih the post office for that matter. My dh would never send a card for anything. I get a bit pissed off doing all his bloody thank yous ie his gran etc so sometimes i don't do it to make a point but this always comes back to bloody bite me as his family blame me. Ditto christmas cards.

My sil never thanks me for her dc's gifts.

yanbu - if I am late sending thank you cards it makes me anxious..

It's rude.

YANBU - it is rude, I can remember having to always write thank you cards - basic good manners, isn't it? They could always ring you

yanbu, a call, a text, or email at least just to say thanks and acknowledge the gift, is basic manners.

I don't do thank you letters or cards though, although many of my friends do.

It is so easy to text if you have someone's mobile no, and it is really nice to get an instant acknowledgement so you know it has arrived on time.

I agree it is rude, but I have to confess there have been times where I haven't sent them because things have just been too hectic. The thought is always there, and the intention, but real life takes over.

My dh's family are like this. So I bought our niece and nephews Thank you cards for their birthday - worked a treat. They always write now

it is rude
but i must plead guilty to not getting round to it myself on occasions when all else has been chaos

Aaaaagh - it is almost a month since DS's birthday and we are still working on Thank you letters.....and because I intend to send letters I haven't called/ sent emails

It will get done though, even if it kills him me. I think it is important.

don't read too much into it some people are just forgetful,doesn't mean they don't appreciate or value gifts.

It's very rude not to acknowledge a gift. And personally I think it's quite reasonable to get kids doing 'thank you' notes or cards - even just writing their name or a squiggle at the end of something you've written, if they're too young to do the whole thing. It teaches them that presents didn't just come from nowhere.

I think a phone call or text from the parents is a pretty poor second, as it doesn't involve the child - but it's definitely better than nothing, especially if you've put gifts in the post and have no idea whether they've arrived.

I hardly ever receive a thank you note these days. Sigh.

Very rude, also rude not to thank people for wedding presents. We spent quite a lot on a wedding present for a cousin last year who lives in another country. We chose from the gift list which she enclosed with invite and have never had an acknowledgement. My mum sent a cheque (being elderly and not quite getting the whole gift list thing) and has never had a note either, despite asking the cousin's dad to check whether the cheque had arrived. Bet cousin never wrote thank you notes as a child!

It is very rude. I have always made my DCs write, they drew a picture when they were very young.I think it is important. They are often very late, depending on how much negging is needed, but they get there in the end.

My brother (34!!) never phones or emails to say thank you for things I send to him, his wife or daughter. As they live in the US I would at least like to know that something has arrived - to know that I have got something they like would be a bonus. This Christmas he will be getting writing paper that says 'Thank you' on the top!!!

my nieces nor their parents bother to say thankyou.last xmas youngest niece who's 7 opened gift from us pulled a face and threw it to one side.sil and bil were there didn't say a word so bloody ungrateful.my dd's nearly 4 and ever since she's been born we've sent thankyou cards out for gifts.even now me and my brother ring round to thank people as we've always done it.

When we only had 1dc i would always send a thank you note and try to send a photo with said prezzie.
Since having 2 other children thats all gone out of the window. I do mention how much we needed/liked the gift next time we see them though.
I have a cousin that never forgets a birthday/christmas prezzie. We always get a card and the children usally have a £5 in. We never ever see her execpt at family parties and find this very touching. I send a christmas prezzie for her dd but don't know her DOB? Find it slightly embarrasing.

Very,very rude!!!!!

My dds always either phone or for some of our relatives they write to say thankyou.

mashed banana I remember my dd doing something similar when she was a toddler but a 7 year old behaving as your neice did is just unforgivable! The fact that your bil and sil law said nothing speaks volumes.