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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get really fed up with hearing people trying to out do each other with regards to who had the worst labour?

52 replies

flixx · 28/11/2008 12:26

Its not a competition! Oh and I don't mean on MN! I mean in RL.

OP posts:
ScottishMummy · 28/11/2008 13:13

yes talking is cathartic but some mums do floridly and competitively recount every detail

unfortunately birth has become another arena to compete and proffer ones opinion for the perfect birth

usual implication and subtext is Casesrian section = selfish too posh to psuh

vaginal birth with no analgesia and birth ball and candles= earth mother

at my bay group there were some right ole natural birthers who crowed on all the time.muttering darkly about CS and being self congratulatory try didn't have one

MuchLessTiredNow · 28/11/2008 13:15

actually, once when I was PND and pissed (bad combo) I said to a particularly irritating mum - 'OK - you win'...

claw3 · 28/11/2008 13:17

Or the ones 'oh did you find it painful, i hardly felt a thing' makes me want to scream 'you wouldnt bucket crotch'

pagwatch · 28/11/2008 13:23

MuchLess
Do you really regularly get into converstaions about childbirth when out for the night
Seriously - change your friends .

I have never had a birthing converstaion on a girls night out - ever. Seriously grim behaviour

TheCrackFox · 28/11/2008 13:29

I don't mind women with the bad birth stories but the ones with "oh, only needed 2 pushes and she was out. Half an hour later I cooked a meal for 12 and we buried the placenta in the garden and planted a rose bush on it." My fanjo looked and felt like a horse had kicked it, just sod off.

ScottishMummy · 28/11/2008 13:36

LOLi attended pricy and poncy birth class were the guru recommended planting the placenta in garden or eating the placenta.

eugh to human Placentophagy.christ you wouldn't eat other surgical detritus would you?

fizzpops · 28/11/2008 13:42

I think you can tell a competitive birther because they will ask a question in order to relate the most impressive/ shocking part of their labour.

'How long was your labour?'
'26 hours'
'Oh, mine was 72.'

Or they will give slightly inaccurate information, ie a 1 hour labour which actually means an hour after they got to the hospital the baby was born.

Sort of like the headlines on certain magazines.

PuzzleRocks · 28/11/2008 13:49

Mine was 8 hrs start to finish. Shed loads of gas and air. A bit of swearing and stitches at the end. Can't get more average than that.

claw3 · 28/11/2008 13:54

Fizz - LOL thats exactly what they do, they draw you into a conversation by questions such as would you have any more kids or how many kids do you have. Usually at Mother and Toddler Groups. Before they let rip with I wouldnt have any more after..............

BouncingTurtle · 28/11/2008 13:56

I didn't have any pain relief... but I was screaming and begging for an epidural!It all happened to quick to have one one, then the evil midwife took the G&A (which to be honest wasn't working anyway!) before ds crowned.
I didn't feel as though I was being brave, quite the opposite - I felt a complete wimp!!

BalloonSlayer · 28/11/2008 13:58

When I was growing up my Stepfather always used to say his DS weighed 11 lb.

After I had DS1, who was 9lb9oz, big but not in a postion to compete, my Stepfather said, oh Our So-and-So was 12 lb.

MuchLessTiredNow · 28/11/2008 16:22

yes, pag - they always happen - I never start them to be fair - I'm usually too busy trying to drink! Usually I don't join in, just let it drift around me..... I guess it's cause there are so many pg women around here with tiny babies. i'll post tomorrow with how long it took to start tonight....

MsSparkle · 28/11/2008 16:35

I don't see why anyone would want to hear the details of someones labour. It makes me queezy just thinking about it.

I had this woman who i had never met before trying to get me tell her all about my labour with dd (who is now 2) and i was getting abit annoyed because i am quite a private person and i especially don't want to share all about my labour history to a stranger.

mybabywakesupsinging · 30/11/2008 00:37

agree with MsSparkle in the sense that I don't know why anyone wants to hear about my labour- I remember being rather surprised when someone asked "how was the birth?" after ds1 was born.
I didn't know what to say!

I was clearly amoung the first of my close friends to have children .
With ds2 it was an easy question - "better than ds1".

However many of my friends have wanted to talk about their labours for both good and bad reasons.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 30/11/2008 11:41

lol i was told (2nd hand) that so-and-so had a 15 minute labour. i had to explain to the (childless) friend that that was impossible and she probably had a 15 minute 2nd stage.....

kitsmummy · 30/11/2008 11:54

OOooh, i quite like talking about my labour if questioned. Would you like to hear about it? It was 2.5 hours from first contraction to giving birth and I was lead on my side having the epidural drug put into my spine when I got a massive urge to push, so push I did and the head came out into my knickers. Cue shocked anaeshetist (sp) and midwife telling husband to pull my knickers down and hold my top leg up (as if that was going to preserve my dignity?!) Next push and she was out altogether. Although not the worst labour by a long shot it was probably a better labour than anyone else's

WaynettaSlob · 30/11/2008 11:56

I know, particularly as MINE was the worst.......

seeker · 30/11/2008 12:01

I sometimes have to stop myself going the other way - you know "Oh I had a 25lb baby with no pain relief, only whale song, then went home an hour later and cooked a 3 course meal for 25 that evening...."

MuchLessTiredNow · 30/11/2008 12:25

2 and a half hours.......

Pruners · 30/11/2008 12:38

Message withdrawn

seeker · 30/11/2008 12:49

2 and a half hours!

I made the hospital with 27 minutes to spare, and he weighed 10lb6oz!

used2bthin · 30/11/2008 13:24

I don't mind it so much now but when I was pg and workig in a nursery, staff and parents seemed to constantly want to tell me about their awful births! I mean I knew it wouldn't be pleasant but what were they trying to achieve?!

reluctantincubator · 30/11/2008 19:00

I don't mind the labour stories, but the one that's been getting me annoyed throughout this (my first) pregnancy, has been:

Already a parent: so how have you been keeping?
Me: fine thanks - I've been lucky healthwise
Already a parent: but have you been tired?
Me: Yes, actually, I have been exhausted
Already a Parent: HA HA HA! JUST YOU WAIT!

And this happens, almost word for word, all the bloody time!

I am actually really bloody fed up with hearing how little sleep and how exhausted i will be after the birth, and how I won't have a life of my own for at least a year yada yada yada. I know that's probably true but still, the whole "have you been tired?" set up and "just you wait" punchline is annoying now.

PS for the sake of clarity, I am not talking about new mums telling it like it is - i.e. exhausting, I'm talking about parents of toddlers who went through it all 2 or 3 years ago and arent going to have any more themselves and think its funny.

MsSparkle · 30/11/2008 20:27

reluctantincubator i know what you mean. I used to get that when i was pregnant with dd (who is now 2)

I am now pregnant again and when i'm out without dd, i get people asking "Is it your first?" In a slightly patronising tone with stupid "you'll be so tired" comments in the waiting. So when i say "No my 2nd..." it kind of wipes the smugness out of there voice. It's quite funny actually.

MuchLessTiredNow · 30/11/2008 21:34

sorry seeker - i meant 2 and a half hours until the subject got round to birth at my girls night out (see earlier in the thread.....)