to be fed up about never having any money even though DH earns (just) over £100k?

[MakemineaGandT]

I know it sounds like a lot, but with a big mortgage and all the other usual bills we have very little disposable cash.

We don't have a cleaner or any other kind of help

Neither of us has had any new clothes for at least 18 months

We spend £100 a week on groceries, so hardly extravagant

We haven't been on holiday for 3 years

We do all DIY etc ourselves

We've been out twice this YEAR

I just don't know how we can cut back. It feels as though we are working so hard and yet we are always struggling.

It makes me really annoyed when I see comments (for example on that taxing over £150k thread) about the "super rich") - I guess on paper we look "rich" but it certainly doesn't feel like it!

Ronaldinhio

about your description of your dad

but loving the skillfulness of your prose!

I'm a tosser with money Can I say tosser?

Im sorry but the ops posting isnt "is it unreasonable to spend £100 on food"

I think what has riled people is the tone of the question, me personally I am very riled by it, and I think I am quite a caring person and can usually see things from all sides but Im sorry, op you chose to buy your house, and your lifestyle (sorry you do not say whether you work, forgive me if I am wrong) but if you are struggling can you not get a job to help and take the pressure of.

Can we have some perspective here there will be approx 130000 children homeless this xmas if not more and you are worried that you cant afford holidays or that you have to do your own DIY let alone afford a cleaner.

bah humbug

But with obesity a real concern, bread and butter and other cheap fillers, potatoes etc are far from ideal.
The cheaper food tends to be white bread, white pasta etc.
I spend £50 a week on fruit and veg, at least. Then there's meat and chicken and all the other store cupboard things.
We haven't had a ready meal in years, Friday night is left overs night in our house. Milk man costs £6.00
School dinners cost £24, so I add that into my food budget.
I stopped buying organic a while ago but some things I will not compromise on and food is top of the list, everything else will be cut down on first.

Ronaldinhio

I had three bigger sisters.
I had one new dress during my whole childhood. I got them fourth hand . I also had one holiday in my whole childhood. But we had a blast as children

My DD at one point had 38 dresses. I think I might have been compensating
Funnily enough I have never bought myself really expensive stuff but just lavished on DD.

( have stopped now as she is older and i didn't want her spolit once she understood IYSWIM)

pagwatch,

My reference to bitterness wasn't aimed at you at all. It was aimed at the "oh my heart bleeds for you, not, My husband only earns beans so that's all we have to live on so you should just shut up and be grateful" (obv not exact words) posters.

Agree it's not unreasonable to ask the questions.

But do think some comments from others were uncalled for as they imply that if you earn money you shouldn't be entitled to make mistakes..

ronaldino sorry one handed not sure i spell your name right

i applaud you (choked up)

fair enough

pmsl@ how this has boiled down to a weekly shop,

she has nowt fancy, no cars, no schools, no staff, no debt, shopping - must be on a mortgage no?

bet its a cracking house!

i can't muster sympathy. i can't, i am glad that there are truly magnanimous people out there, but look this is what i am doing

custardo - love it

Can that be the last word on this? Please?!

Thanks janeite and giantkate. I now have recipes to last almost a month without repetition. I just need to get a grip and get more organised.

my dd came home from school tonight wittering about four secret santas

one was 2.99 2 were 7.99 and one was -and i quote 'alot'

after several hours of petty bickering about it - dp siad to me 'just forget it you are never going to make her understand your moral standpoint - all the girls in her class will just be handed the cash to fritter'

i know this is off the op so to speak but if i give my state educated daughter the bloody money for the pathetic secret santa to frittter on body glitter bath bombs and chocolate that is 25-30 pounds down the proverbial pan

society still wants this crap

Absolutely Ronnie.

To the Op, do you pay out much on activities for your dc? I know this is one thing that really eats up funds. It is also something that is hard to see as disposable but it is! Perhaps this is something you could look into?

I take the point about obesity.

But I do think that activity levels are a huge factor. Children who walk to places, children who run around and ride bikes, children who finish a meal with a slice of wholemeal bread and butter instead of a biscuit - these are not fat kids.

Discipline around food also has a bearing on weight. My SIL let her children wander in whenever they wanted and help themselves to whatever they wanted, and unsurprisingly, they were very overweight.

Lentils aren't expensive. Buying the fruit & veg that's the supermarket's offer of the week (pineapple this week, for the record) isn't expensive. Basics / budget wholegrain breakfast cereal isn't expensive. Cheaper options do not need to be poor quality.

ta ladies

the handmedown clothes are awful pagwatch and I can totally understand the 38 dresses!!

erm, the op hasnt actually said that they have made mistakes!!!

In fact the op isnt actually saying much now, forgive me but this thread screams of someone wanting to cause all huge debate and to rile people. Isnt there a name for them, goblins or something

Notanotter, this is where I found private education to be better, a hell of a lot less of that sort of nonsense.
Only wish I could afford to be the poorest at a private school instead of a better off at state school parent.

Mine will be doing a hell of a lot of walking come Jan when my car goes back

YABU. Totally. I have only three words to say: Get A Job.

hmm I dunnow if necessarily fab house - depends on where surely?

I remember 4 years ago we were going to move to Surrey to be closer to dh's jjob. The houses we were looking at were smaller than the house I live in now, yet they were at least £130000 more expensive. Dh was earning better money than he is now (IT contractor) so we could have afforded it but it was a hidious amount of money for really not that big a house.

As it happens I got cold feet and we ended up staying here (did try to move to Essex two years later but couldn't sell this house then), but now i think back, and think of the size of mortgage we would have had in the current economic climate... and... let's just say I do believe things happen for a reason...

anyfucker - also forgot to add you can make your own cleaning products. i find cleaning porducts really expensive so now i don't buy them. i use vinegar, olive oil, baking soda and lemon. i found this site and this site really helpful.

copycat? there was a thread recently about someone earning over, I think, 60K and that got peoples toes up...

sorry...honest to god...move smewhere else or smaller if you want the location...but fgs stop moaning...most people survive/love on not even a quarter of that, and benefits aren't that grea...

seriously.
is this thread for real.
me and DH earn betwen us £110k.
We both freely admit we are minted and can;t believe our luck. we live in london and have a big mortgage too.