to have verbally abused an old man i the street today?!

[smeeinit]

ok,im sure i am BUT in was bloody annoyed
so im driving along (on a road obviously) at around 20mph through town and from nowhere out pops an elderly gent in the middle of the road,i say elderly but he was proberly under 70!
i have to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting him and he shakes his head at me?!
huh? im on a road in a car driving 10mph UNDER the speed limit, hes swaggering across said road rather than walking 50ft to pelican crossing and i get a head shake?!

now verbally abusing people isnt a usual thing for me to do but i was rather angry so put the window down and said....

"dont go shaking ya head at me darlin,this is a road not a f**kin path love,go use the crosing"

so the proper thing would have been to smile politly and drive on wouldnt it?! so AIBU to have been abusive to an old guy?

well i don't think you should of sworn at him tbh

I can understand getting annoyed and I'd have muttered under my breath but I think tbh you were unreasonable by being agressive verbally.

I don't hold with being abusive but you were shaken (it is as scary for the driver as the pedestrian!) and his headshake was out of order.
YAB a tiny bit U but not enough to worry about it.

"I can't see how (unless we are talking about parked vans not cars) you didn't see him until he was in the middle of the road. I suspect you were either going faster, or not paying enough attention for you to need to slam on your breaks. People do walk about between parked cars, and in residential areas you have to be on your guard as a driver."

It would only take one or two steps for the guy to possibly be in the middle of the lane she was driving in so just a second or so. People do walk between cars and cross the road from there but you don't expect them to do it right in front of you. Smeenit did the right thing and braked, thus not hitting the guy...showing she was paying attention and driving with care. What was she meant to do???

You said it yourself in your original post 'OK I'm sure I am', you know YABU.

There's really no need to be so aggressive. Yes, the old man probably was a bit of an idiot - but why swear at him? Do you swear at everyone who makes a mistake?

"Smeenit did the right thing and braked, thus not hitting the guy...showing she was paying attention and driving with care. What was she meant to do???"

Congratulate herself for driving well and put it down to experience.

Not get verbal and possibly scare and old man who should have earnt the right to be grumpy at his age.

See, even here, your responses are overly aggressive. At 20mph, in a residential area you should have plenty of time to stop before an elderly man reaches the middle of the road - even if he is only 5ft tall.

A near miss is scary but pedestrians are in a much more vulnerable postion than drivers. And everybody makes mistakes sooner or later. Especially when elderly and infirm.

swingsofglory, yes i do swear at alot of people!

upwind- huh? overly aggresive responses? where?

FWIW, I think YANBU. You didn't swear at him - you swore about the situation. You could have called him a "f*kin a*sehole - with (some) justification (but not something yuo should have said out loud ).

Your justifable anger was that he was the one that was complanining about you - despite the fact that he was in the wrong (BTW - I tohugh pedestrains only had priority at junctions or on crossings).

And for those that complain that he couldn't have got to the middle of the road unlss you had been speeding - only need to be two steps out in the road to get run over.

jesus, my ds was nearly run over with one of those scooter things

I scowled at him and said "Hey!....you!...Be careful"

That'll teach him!!!

Exactly. Hard breaking (and that's what I assume you mean if you had to slam on your breaks) should only be necessary if someone runs out in front of you that you did not see at all (usually children/pets). An old chap is unlikely to be invisible behind the car (even at 5'), and unlikely to rush out very fast. The driving test has since 2002 included a hazard perception test, which I can't get into right now www.hazardperceptionchallenge.co.uk which makes it quite clear it is the drivers responsibility to look out for dangers and react accordingly. Indeed prospective drivers who do not pick up a sufficient proportion of the hazards do not go on to take their practical test. Parked cars are considered a hazard, because of the risk or doors being opened, kids, cats etc.

It is highly likely you were both at fault for not being as observant as you should have been. However I really don't think a head-shake is in the same league as verbal abuse.

I think you are being pedantic. The OP used foul language which was most certainly directed at the other person. She was verbally abusive.

Yes - but the fact that smeeint stopped and didn't hit him means that she was driving with due care and attention.

i wonder what the reaction would have been if my OP was-
"i hit and killed an elderly gentleman today after he walked out infront of my car"

or "a teenager walked out in front of my car today AIBU to swear at him"

swearing at someone who made mistake is out of order.

Why didn't you just shake your head at him?

My Dad is in his mid -sixties and would have been really scared if someone had sworn at him. He would have gone home and felt sad about it for ages and he would worry about it for a few days afterwards.

So hope you felt it was justified.

When you have driving lessons, you are taught to be careful when driving past parked cars in case pedestrians walk out. Applies just as much once you've passed your test.

Yes, old man was daft to step out. Brownie points for you for driving carefully enough to stop in time. But they are taken away again for your reaction. Unnecessary IMO.

Agreed Mutt, OP posted knowing she was out or order but is clearly still miffed, so working out her aggravation on here I think.

Hazards happen on the road. The highway code might give you the moral high ground but I doubt it says, "apply brakes, then dish out verbal abuse"

And whatever age the pedestrian, people make mistakes, again I say OP should be glad she was driving well enough to stop - then bear in mind she has no idea what kind of physical or mental state that person is in, what kind of a day they've had, and be a bit kinder.

And I hope she's a childminder she didn't have any of her charges with her whilst effin and jeffin...

And I hope as she's a childminder

lotster,what does my job have to do with my OP??
and why would i possibly be "effin and jeffin" with children in my car?

I would have thought it was obvious, you are someone who sets an example.

But this really is getting silly now, you know YABU, the provocative thread title makes it apparent. I just wanted to stand up as someone who recently got unceccessarily abused in the street recently that it's uneccessary, and unkind. You are old enough to know better, clearly enjoying the aggro this thread has caused and I'm not sure why I'm even continuing to feed the beast!!

In fact I won't. Bye all.

ew you sound a bit weird- winding down the window and swearing at an elderly man, was that really necessary?
Not classy

I was in a texi with the world's rudest mini-cab driver today - and we came across an old man who was in the midst of crossing the road (very slowly) as we appoached.

Stupid driver honked the horn at him. I was livid - and told him - for goodness sake - he is an old man - you will be old one day too. And in any case - as he had stepped off the footpath before we arrived at the junction he had right of way in any event under the Highway Code.

You let yourself down by swearing - whatever about him stepping out in front of you.

I would prob have tutted! YABU swearing at him-totally unnecessary.