to have verbally abused an old man i the street today?!

[smeeinit]

ok,im sure i am BUT in was bloody annoyed
so im driving along (on a road obviously) at around 20mph through town and from nowhere out pops an elderly gent in the middle of the road,i say elderly but he was proberly under 70!
i have to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting him and he shakes his head at me?!
huh? im on a road in a car driving 10mph UNDER the speed limit, hes swaggering across said road rather than walking 50ft to pelican crossing and i get a head shake?!

now verbally abusing people isnt a usual thing for me to do but i was rather angry so put the window down and said....

"dont go shaking ya head at me darlin,this is a road not a f**kin path love,go use the crosing"

so the proper thing would have been to smile politly and drive on wouldnt it?! so AIBU to have been abusive to an old guy?

LOL at The Goat and prozac, that tickled me!

Anyhow back to topic i think i would have thought what the OP said, but not said it out loud.

verbal abuse , as you have termed it, indicates a certain level of aggression and volume

i totally agree with Mutt

it is just unecessary and gratuitous rudeness

you asked if YWBU, i think you were.

pmsl @ mutt!
sorry darlin do my words offend you love???!

well it offends me that you would be offended by the way i talk! darlin.

I wouldn't have used the f word directly at him but YANBU. Not only was it a complete shock for you but then he had the gall to shake his head as if it were your fault - when actually he should be thankful you a)drive slowly and b) have quick reactions.

I'm assuming in this case the OP was paying attention to the road and the old guy didn't give enough time for her to slow/stop safely so was wrong.

But I will continue to cross roads where there is a reasonable break in the traffic. I won't concede the roads to drivers just because they are in a metal container and I am not.

I don't expect drivers to break hard, just ease up a bit to increase the gap out of politeness. Though around here they mostly speed up because they are eager to get to the next red light regardless of any danger.

I think you were really nasty. As has been said, it would be astonishing for an elderly gent to pop out in the middle of the road. You were not driving with due care and attention if you did not see him and slow down to give him time to cross. And there is absolutely no excuse for verbal abuse.

YABU - it saddens me that a shake of the head from an old man could make you get so annoyed you wind your window down and say/shout something aggressive.

Living in London I can't believe how often things kick off on the road over such small things. And can escalate so much in some cases.

I thanked someone for letting me pass my holding my hand up (forgot to flash as light was fading), because the guy didn't see me he decided to yell c**t at me as I passed. It was frightening, uneccessary and my son heard. Really think people should just chill out on the road...

No Upwind - the pedestrian was not paying due care and attention, the OP has said a couple of times he stepped out from behind a parked car into the road. Why not use the designated crossing. If it had been a child we would all be berating the child's parents for not teaching them basic road safety.

Yes YABU.

I suspect that it's an effort to get across the road and the extra 10 yrds to the crossing makes life a little bit harder. You were able to stop, so it's OK. A bit of wear and tear to the brakes and your nerves.

He must have been a very small old man if he could hide behind a car.

Last week I had to do an emergency stop because another driver did not bother looking left when turning right. I am heavily pregnant and was worried about the jolt. But I did not shout abuse at the very apologetic man who had almost caused a major accident - people are only human and sometimes do mad things when under pressure. You don't know what is going on in anyone else's life so it is best to just give them the benefit of the doubt.

Nobody seems able to just let things go anymore.

'Elderly gentleman in shaking his head shocker'

Big whoop.

Yes, he made a mistake; yes, he should have used the crossing.

But really, take up yoga or something, or you could end up swearing at entirely the wrong person - ie: one who is capable of standing up to you, and of getting equally aggressive.

if the OP was driving under the speed limit and the elderly gent didnt use the crossing then that was his fault

however swearing at him is not right

I wouldnt have said anything, but, i probably would have made a twirling motion with my finger at the side of my head, signalling that he must be a bit loopy.

I think YB a little U. Although his sudden appearance in the road was an annoyance to you (much like wrinkles on your face that you dont notice til it's too late!) i personally would probably have just muttered words to the effect of "stupid old git" under my breath or possibly taken pity on the old boy, depending on whether he was wearing a little trilby hat or just looked like a git.

I think shouting out the window to him was a bit unfair. He is a doddery old fella after all!

Roffling at HumphreyCushion!
And yes ... is it possible you picked a bit of an easy target there, OP? Would you have raised your voice at someone dead scary looking?

YABU

Reminds me of one time I was on a tube, and could see an old lady struggling to get down the carriage to get out at her stop. I leaned across to gently tap a guy who was standing in her way, and he turned round and said 'I was going to move! I saw her, you f*ing twat'' - this was before I had actually touched him.

I just don't get it. What is up with shouting abuse at people for minor transgressions. It makes situations stressful, unpleasant and scary for all of us.

Have'nt read all posts (as it's too long and I am at work)

But in defense of OP, oldies round my way seem abandon the pavement for the road with complete disregard for their safety or the nerves of the drivers in the town.

They walk accross the sleeping policemen as if they were all cossings, in fact I saw one old boy on his scooter just zip off the pavement without looking at all.

They also walk on the road to go round a particularly busy corner (a bank opens on to it) where people are always going in and out or stopping for chats.

And they corss the crossing without waiting for the beep - which when you have a small child in tow, who you are trying to teach road safety too, is very annoying. Although DD has always been very vocal about it.
"That naughty man/lady did'nt wait for the beep"

I think some old people should be coralled and herded for their own safety!

Upwind have you actually read any of my posts?
he came out from a ROW of parked cars,and actually as it happens he couldnt have been much over 5ft so yeah rather tiny. and how is driving at 20mph and screeching to a halt when said gent popped out infront of me not driving with due care and attention?

In my experience I have seen far more bad driving than bad "pedestrianing". To the OP can you really say, hand on your heart that you were going at 20mph or less? Were you paying full attention? I can't see how (unless we are talking about parked vans not cars) you didn't see him until he was in the middle of the road. I suspect you were either going faster, or not paying enough attention for you to need to slam on your breaks. People do walk about between parked cars, and in residential areas you have to be on your guard as a driver.

Maybe that wasn't a particularly safe place to cross, but is a head shake really such a terrible thing? You nearly run over someone, and your response is to yell and swear at them?

YABVVU

prettybutterfly - yes i would have said the same to anyone that done the same thing regardless of age,looks,race,hair style etc etc..... do you really think i picked on this guy because he was over 60???

nooka-precisely,i nearly ran over someone! to no fault of my own {rolls eyes}
and if anything i was going slower than 20mph.