Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to go?

80 replies

claw3 · 25/11/2008 09:03

Ny DH is having his Christmas work do in Manchester and his work are paying for a hotel for the night, he has asked me to go.

Problem is that i am not actually invited to the dinner and dance, so it will mean i will be staying in the hotel room on my own until he gets back. He has said that we could pay for an extra night and spend Saturday together, but this would involved getting up very, very early on the Sunday morning to get back to London for a family get together.

I have suggested that we could book a hotel another time and spend time together, but he now has the hump and thinks im being unreasonable.

What do you guys think?

OP posts:
moondog · 25/11/2008 10:26

Oh let him.
Walk away, don't indulge him.

NotQuiteCockney · 25/11/2008 10:28

I can see arguments for going, and arguments for not going. I can't see any arguments for sulking, though.

I think you taking some initiative and booking a child-free weekend or night would maybe sort things out?

Original poster
claw3 · 25/11/2008 10:35

Sorry i dont know the name of the hotel, i didnt ask any details. I didnt like to ask all about the hotel and then say 'no'.

The dinner and dance is an all nighter, starting at about 6 finishing at about 12. They have an award ceremony etc, so he would be expected to stay after dinner. He may well say to me he would slip away earlier, but i know once he has a few drinks inside him, he wont. I will then not be pleased that he has made excuses to me not to slip away early etc.

OP posts:
Jux · 25/11/2008 10:35

Funny how men seem to think that hanging about waiting for them with nothing to do and no one for company will be 'fun'.

AMumInScotland · 25/11/2008 10:48

It doesn't sound like a fun evening.

Why don't you take the initiative and book a hotel and babysitter for some other weekend, and surprise him? He's probably thinking you're not that bothered about spending time alone with him, so if you make the first move I'm sure he'd appreciate the fact that it's just the details of this plan which you don't fancy. Making the effort to plan a dirty weekend yourself would cheer him up I'm sure!

solidgoldbrass · 25/11/2008 10:49

Erm, I don't want to be rude or presumptive here Claw, but do you think he's sulking because his big idea was 'get her to come with me and stay in the hotel room and then I can have sex with her after the party with no DC jumping on us'?

Original poster
claw3 · 25/11/2008 11:11

Solid - Thats exactly why he is sulking, except not after the party, he would be legless and not capable. More Saturday morning, afternoon, evening and Sunday morning LOL

OP posts:
MadameCastafiore · 25/11/2008 11:13

I'd go and have room service and a massage and a manicure and everything else I could get whilst not having the DCs around - would be bliss even in a a hotel room being waited on and having a good book and free rein of the TV sounds ace.

Original poster
claw3 · 25/11/2008 11:13

AMIS - I did think about that, but it would involve having to ask him for the money to book it. What with Christmas coming up i really couldnt afford to pay for a weekend away.

OP posts:
LivingLaVidaLurker2 · 25/11/2008 11:13

I'd definitely go - I would watch telly that didn't involve puppets, read a book, have a bath, go to the toilet all by myself . Room service, mini-bar, lie-in...

Simplysally · 25/11/2008 11:17

I did something similar - I visited an ex, stayed in his hotel room whilst he worked then we spent the next day together. Well, that was the plan but he got called into work so I went home in huff .

Doubt if I'd do it again but it's up to you. I can think of a few hotels I'd not object to a few hours on my own in.... Cork International for one....

Original poster
claw3 · 25/11/2008 11:27

livingla - LOL at watching tv that didnt involve puppets

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 25/11/2008 11:35

Tricky if you'd have to get him to pay for it, and finances are tight. But I do think making plans for some time together would help - he was no doubt thinking this was a cheap way to manage that, and doesn't understand why the prospect of him coming back to the room legless and incapable is not high up your list of fantasies!

Original poster
claw3 · 25/11/2008 11:43

AMIS - oh yes, trying to take his trousers off standing up and falling over (why do men always do that when pissed), very attractive!

No doubt his intentions were good, just not sure if i can put up with the days of sulking now that will follow, let alone make arrangements to spend time with him!!

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 25/11/2008 12:02

Could you explain that you really like the idea of the Day of Shagging, but the early Sunday start, and a boring Friday night don't tempt so much? So he understands that it's not the shagging that's put you off?

branflake81 · 25/11/2008 12:10

But why does she have to stay in the hotel? If it were me I'd go and go out by myself in the evening to the cinema or theatre of something.

Don't be an old stick in the mud - I think it's a good idea of your husband and don't see the problem.

scaredoflove · 25/11/2008 12:23

I have done this, I had room service meal, took my own wine, a few dvd's and my computer to play them on. I had a soak in the bath and ate chocolate in silence, it was heaven

Exh didn't go over board on the booze as he knew I was upstairs and he had something to look forward to

You could work this to your benefit

Original poster
claw3 · 25/11/2008 12:55

Ive just phoned DH to find out which hotel, so i can see whats on and if i could keep myself amused.

Its The Place Hotel, i havent looked myself yet!

OP posts:
Snaf · 25/11/2008 12:59

Is this it?

Original poster
claw3 · 25/11/2008 13:03

I assume so, all i have is The Place Hotel, Manchester.

I will have a nose, so what do you think, have you had a look at the facilities yet?

OP posts:
Original poster
claw3 · 25/11/2008 13:07

It looks quite nice

OP posts:
ChukkyPig · 25/11/2008 13:12

All of my work dos it has been not entirely unheard of for poeple's partners to join in after the meal for the dance/disco part and no-one has minded. Maybe you can do that?

Personally i would be a bit put out sitting in a hotel room while DH partied downstairs!!!

AMumInScotland · 25/11/2008 13:16

Wow - as a place to be "stuck in" I'd take that! A whole kitchen you can leave messy...

ledodgy · 25/11/2008 13:16

Bloody hell i'd jump at the chance to spend a night there alone or not!

ledodgy · 25/11/2008 13:17

Have you got a laptop? If so they have internet acess you can MN!