Can I just check - would you leave your dcs with someone you'd never met?

[FromGirders]

Want to run this by the collective before I dig my heels in completely. Will try to include everything so as not to drip-feed.
FIL (with whom I have a strained relationship) wants to have a 60th dinner / party. It will be at a particular hotel, his friends / acquaintances will have to stay at the hotel while our family stay at their house and he will find "someone from the hotel or the village" to babysit. Depending on the timing this may involve putting dcs (5 & 4) to bed. We will never have met this person before - there may be a chance to meet them for about 10 minutes during the afternoon or something. It will be an acquantance of ILs, not someone from an agency or anything.
Given that this event will involve the dcs having to make a 3 hour car journey there on a Saturday and then again to go home the next day, they're only going to se their gps for a couple of hours each day, and they'll be busy with their grown up friends.
I'd rather organise a sleepover for the dcs with friends, or get their auntie / my parents to come and look after them. This may well cause offence - AIBU??

I wouldn't feel that comfortable with the situation but I would prefer to leave them with a person even if I didn't know that person than rely on a baby monitor.

I wouldn't, no. But then again I am still smarting from the snidey comments made last night by this awful bitchy woman we met at a friend's dinner party, who made it clear she thought I was being extremely precious about 4 yr old ds when I refused to let her two children aged 11 and 13 whom I had never met, take him out to a park half a mile away. They were lovely kids as it turned out (despite having a bitch queen for a mother) but I didn't know them and more to the point, neither did ds.

(If he needs the loo? If he runs off suddenly? If they get bored of entertaining a demanding 4 year old and take their eye off him to play football by themselves for a moment? No, I don't think so lady. And rolling your eyes theatrically to the assembled company did you no favours, actually.)

and breaaaaaathe......!

No, I don't think YABU.

kitbit - on childcare issues, were we separated at birth?

cheeset!
I thought for one awful moment when I started reading your post that you were going to say "yes that was me and you ARE a precious nutcase" !!!!

D'you know what, no, I just think we are a united sane voice in a sea of madness

Think of it from the childrens point of view. They will be put to bed in a not very familiar house, by a stranger. If they wake during the night, have a nightmare or become suddenly ill, they are likely to feel very insecure and if you are not happy with the sitter yourself, you will not relax enough to enjoy the party anyway.

Go with your gut instinct on this, it isn't worth all the worry for you. Leave the children with someone you all trust.

dsrplus8, don't be mortified, it is not a big deal. Your post just read differently to the way you meant it. Caps, extra punctuation etc adds tone or excitement to a post - believe me I had to be told when I came here too. It is no big deal

thanx ncbirdy, feel less of a twat now!!!!

Ah, I do prefer the Scandinavian way of doing this: children get taken to the party (and eventually fall asleep under the table).

Have not read all the posts but just wanted (perhaps foolishly) to stick head above parapet and say yes, I have left my kids with someone I haven't met previously, on more than one occasion. On holiday I asked the owner of the holiday cottage to recommend someone she knew, and recently my regular babysitter double booked and recommended a friend. AND, at my FILs 70th birthday party (an evening do too late for the children), we did exactly what your FIL has suggested - he organised a neighbour's daughter to babysit at his house while we went to the party.
Despite my obvious recklessness and complete laxity, we have all lived to tell the tale.

Should add that on all these occasions the children were already in bed when sitter arrived.

No. I can barely cope with the idea of leaving him with good friends.
(yes I know, pfb and all that but still.)

Oh, and with the FIL situation, I wasn't particularly keen on the idea to start with, but I'm glad I relented as it was no problem at all. If I hadn't been happy with the babysitter I'd just have stayed with them and let dh go to the party alone.
but really, they're your kids and if you don't feel happy, I think that's perfectly understandable.

I wouldn't leave mine with someone they hadn't met before because I don't think they'd like it much

Even if there is a 0.5% risk, is it worth it??? How could you enjoy a party knowing that your children are with strangers (to them, at least)? If they wake up with a nightmare, they are gonna freak...