AIBU to think that some older women put on a bit of an 'old dear' act which is really a cover for selfishness?

[BoffinMum]

I was in the supermarket the other day, struggling a bit, it has to be said, as I have a pregnancy complication that has affected my mobility and causes me a lot of pain. I was forced to stand in the queue at the till while an apparently able bodied woman, probably in her early 70s, made a big fuss about getting her bags packed and her shopping lifted into the trolley, even though I had just seen her by the recycling hoiking great amounts of stuff out of her car boot perfectly happily, like any other normal person.

By the time I got to pay I had been forced to wait 20 minutes in the queue along with everyone else, while she frankly made a huge fuss over a relatively small amount of shopping, with two supermarket employees pandering to her every whim at our expense.

My uncharitable muttering along the lines of "Don't mind me, I'll just stand here and give birth quietly while you finish fussing" was (unsurprisingly) ignored. But I started to feel very irritated by the sheer number of people in this age bracket that do things like fling car doors open to hit me as I walk down the pavement, insist on VIP treatment in supermarkets at the expense of everyone else, and generally try to cash in on their age when they're perfectly fit and healthy really. I've got plenty of older relatives who would not dream of carrying on like this, and I am wondering whether we should all be putting up with it or not.

I hope if i get to 70 people don'y have this attitudue towards me. Elderly people can act like this if they please, they have been her for 70 years after all.

MY MIL is in her early 60's and is like this..... but that is another thread.

BTW, what is wrong with somone packing your bags - the service is on offer and free?

TBH, I do my own because I like my bags packed a certain way. At the supermarkets where we are, they do ask would you like help packing. It is part of your job!!!

i used to work in a shop, whose main customers were elderly, well off ladies.

They were (mostly) the rudest, most arrogant, selfish people imaginable.

One old dear even insisted on being served during the 2 minute silence on 11/11.

I was very indeed.

(I didn't serve her, but could hear her well bred tones booming through the quiet shop!)

Some were lovely, though.

Can't judge a book, so to speak.

Pointydog, you're right, I was very grumpy at the supermarket. But I should probably try to be charitable to such people. As my old gran would say, it takes all sorts to make a world.

Hedgewitch, she was making a huge fuss about the way it was packed, making them get things she had forgotten and that sort of thing. Kind of shopping silver service. I felt it was help she didn't really need. I think the other people in the queue felt this as well, and the two assistants trying to help her.

In your position, I'd probably have been fizzinf too

fizzing

I sometimes find it difficult to refuse when shop assistants grab a bag and say briskly 'shall I help you pack' and then start shoving my stuff in without waiting for an answer. I feel as if I'm holding them up if I try to do it myself. And if I feel that, being able-bodied and fairly confident, I am sure some elderly lady, who is conscious of being a bit slow, would feel it more.

You are being very unreasonable.

As particularly an elderly person she may only experience being fussed over in the supermarket, after a life time of being fussing over husbands, children, g/children, friends etc. for decades. So she may think 'what about me?'. Not even from those close to her.

Be graceful. Something lacking these days. IMHO.

ha ha, I've noticed this especially during boarding time at the airport. When they announce the early boarding for those who 'need special assistance' boarding the aircraft, and suddenly there's a mad gale of wind as a gaggle of perfectly fit 'old dears' literally run to get to the front of the queue. Special assistance, my arse!

It's not just at the supermarket, there's an old witch lady who is sometimes at the bus stop outside ds's school. She always jumps the que and will invite her friends to do so too! It's irrelevant when she arrived and how many people have been waiting, every time she does this.

Once when I was heavily pregnant and waiting for a trolley to become available at the entrance to Tesco, an old lady (old but not doddery, perfectly able as far as I could see) saw I'd been waiting but still snuck in front of me and comandeered both available trollies that people brought back, saying the other one was for her friend, who was nowhere to be seen.

I've every sympathy with people who need special assistance due to age. However, simply being over 65 (or so) is not a licence to be mean and rude to others.

not her age - just her personality. plenty of young women act the same.

replace age with 'black'

beanie b what on earth do you mean?

Oh dear. Everyone duck for cover!

Insensitive beanie!!!

I think the OP is right that some older people do try it on. I was in the food bit of M&S once, queuing up with a hand basket. The old lady behind me plonked her basket onto the conveyor belt before I had a chance and then said it would be easier if she went first as her basket was already there. I didn't let her.

OTOH when I was working and queuing up in my lunch hour with my sandwiches at M&S, the old ladies in front would nearly always let me go ahead.

beanie - please explain your post of 23:08

A very bad post beanie. You need to appologise for this. It's out of order.

Beanie you have not explained your post. I know MNHQ are unlikely to be about at this hour, but I am reporting your post now. It needs to be removed, it is offensive.

I think I know what beanie means - replace "age" with other way of looking / judging people here - left handed / blue eyed etc, and see how your arguments stand?? I hope anyway! I don't think it's offensive if that's what she means.

I feel for you OP you were obviously in pain, it's a bummer if there isn't enough help and consideration to go round.

I hope you got a nice rest when you went home.

Older people are statistically nearer death, and that can be very frightening for them - to know statistically they don't have 40 or so years left. That chances are they'll be dead in 20. This perspective and fear might change us all. who knows how we'll act when we've done those sums.

actually yes if that's what beanie means then I do get it. However it isn't obvious that is what she means from her post, so it could be interpreted as being offensive also. I'm hoping she comes back on to explain.