with my vegetarion issue (not quite the same as the post below)?

[Essie3]

Have invited PIL to ours for Christmas, as they were sulking that DH and I wanted to spend our first Christmas with our new son, and not rushing around (DH is church organist, I live 250 miles away so time together is important to us).
I am veggie, DH is not, DS is exclusively bf. Normally, we have some fancy pies for our Christmas dinner - a veggie one for me, a meaty feast for DH. With veggies, and onion gravy. Lovely.
MIL has said that 'FIL wants some proper meat', and wants a bird of some sort. I won't cook meat (can't, been veggie since I was a child, never learnt, woudn't be good). However, AIBU in not wanting her to bring her own bird and cook it? Same reasons as the other post below - the smell in our small open plan house, the grease etc. Also, one small oven, so no spare space. I also don't want the leftovers and carcass. Plus, I'm not refusing to cook meat - it will be in a pie, but they want something different and more 'traditional'.
AIBU in thinking that if they want to dictate the menu, they go somewhere else? That if you're a guest, you get what you're given and don't demand specific meals? (I wouldn't go to theirs and demand an aubergine; if MIL refused to cook me a separate meal, I'd eat any veg accompaniments quietly and politely. And maybe take a discreet walk via somewhere that sells a sandwich later if I was hungry!)

p.s. she hates bfing and won't let me do it in the same room...an issue for another post...

tell them to bring it ready cooked and they can eat it cold on the day

A breast of a chicken could slide in the oven without notice. Doesnt have to be a WHOLE bird does it?
YANBU, they ARE being fussy.

YANBU at all. And I'm omnivorous.

I've been veggie for years and couldn't cook meat either but it would seem that some meat eaters are really, really attached to their xmas dinner. If you are going to invite them for dinner, then I suspect they are going to feel that they haven't had dinner unless something died.

pah. if you go to someone else's house you eat what you're given.

don't give in. cook what you would normally cook. get him a bloody turkey pie if that's what he wants.
if they don't like it they can stay at home can't they???

you live 250 miles away from your dh?

yanbu

my parents were veggie for many many years and no one expected them to provide meat in theor own house

maybe suggest pil's come round for tea rather than xmas dinner

lol at beansprout

I jolly well hope you are going to send her out of the room when you are bfing then and not make yourself scarce to suit her!! silly moo! No, even better, BF at the dinner table!!

You need to get DH to back you up on what you both want. It does seem off to accept an invitation then dictate the menu. But I do have a veggie friend who is happy for MIL to cook and bring over the turkey while she does the rest of the traditional dinner.

Phew, I'm not trying to cause trouble with them but I am rather p!ssed off on this one!

It's following on from the (vegetarian) sausage casserole I spent ages making, and they ate 2 spoonfuls each, said they weren't hungry (MIL), had indigestion (FIL) and left it.

I was brought up to eat what I'm given. Ok, a touch hypocritical from a vegetarian maybe, but I say I don't eat meat, not that I specifically want particular things cooked!

UnfortunatelyMe god knows about the whole bird, but goose or duck has been mentioned. They're quite strong meats, right?
Our oven really is small - 1 shelf jobbie.

I agree, you eat what you are given unless you have restrictions such as religion, allergies or vegetarianism. Your MIL is being a bit rude but presumably this is the first time ever she's had to contemplate not having roast poultry for Christmas? Think you could compromise with Unfortunately's suggestion.

I'm veggie too, never had meat in the house until dh went wrong and ds was weaned - previously I would have hated the idea of meat being cooked in my oven and kitchen, now I can tolerate it as long as I don't have to eat it, it's organic or welfare friendly AND dh cleans the oven and washes up.

I dont think you are being unreasonable.
They are lucky you have invited them.

FWIW my PIL are the same. Everytime they visit they are straight down the supermarket to buy dead things and industrial quantities of salt (as I tend to only have one container of salt in the house at a time)

Have a look at M&S, they used to do a duck ready meal (my mother used to buy it occasionally). If they INSIST on cooking meat they can put up with convenience food!

No idea about strong meat, im a veggie too...they could cook a HUGE bird at their leisure and bring it with them and warm gently in over wrapped in tin foil tin and then gravy on top. Bet they wont though.

twoluvlykids without going into major detail, I live in Anglesey and DH lives in London, but he's flexible with his work and spends time with us during the week where possible. And weekends together. At the mo I'm on mat leave, so I spend lots of time in London so he can bring in the (metaphorical, natch) bacon. Works for us, but always sounds straaaaaange typed out there! He will relocate when he's really high up (law), but currently we need him to do lots of court work cause I'm a poor academic.

loobeylou you may have the answer. And if I dribble milk onto the duck/goose whatever whilst bfing...well...it's an animal foodstuff, right?

Ready meal I could deal with. Although I may want to stamp my foot on the principle of the matter!

reading on, it seems that your oven wouldn't be large enough to cook a bird anyway!

if you hate the smell - and it will hang around and you will hate it, being veggie, it'll spoil your xmas.

UnfortunatelyMe has a good idea

That pie site you linked to is brilliant! Mmmmmm pie.

I know, they're really delicious! I pick them up from Borough Market. Highly recommended!

i am also drooling over the pie site. but as I am dairy and egg free atm I can't have any! waaaaaaaah

Maybe they are just being kind and wanting to contribute and are being slightly self interested in their contribution - knowing that a roast of some sort is not something you would be likely to buy?

I don't think there is nec. anything too sinister in their offer. I ouwld accept it with good grace.

I don't see it as a rejection of your lovely pies! Just a contribution to the table.

The bf thing is most annoying. Def worth a whole new topic! ( on which support for you will be unanimous!)

Can I add I think the vegetarian aspect here is a red herring?

Somefolks ( I am thinking older generation) have very fixed ideas about food .

My mum is a fantastic and adventurous cook. My dad less of an adventurous eater. When they come her for dinner mum often asks in advance what I am making. Heaven forbid it is something exotic like seafood rissotto of anything spicy!

She will often bring a contribution to the meal which is basically her and dad's idea of what a proper dinner should be!

I accept it with good grace as simply MORE food - what's not to like?! I try not to think "is my food not good enough for you?"

the pie site looks good

I think YANBU at all - if you are kind enough to have invited them, they should eat what they're given.

My BIL always brings a tin of hot dogs with him when he comes here as he can't go for more than a couple of hours without meat

and on the BF issues - tough titties (in mor ways than one ) to MIL - your baby, your house - you feed how, when and where you like.

Happy Christmas !

Too clarify if I ( as an omnivore ) was having pies at Christmas you can bet any money my mum would bring over a small roast turkey breast wrapped in bacon with some fnacy stuffing she had made herself to augment the meal!

It's not about vegetarianism , it's about what they see as traditional meals I think

I mean TO !

I have a similar situation & am stealing the pie idea to accommodate MIL & SIL who will otherwise cook a chicken in their oven & bring it . Thanks for the link!

Smile sweetly & keep reiterating that PILs won't get a bird in the oven. Offer posh M&S duck breast ready meals as compromise...?