to think this woman is patronising me?

[Moomin]

In what circumstances would you ask a colleague, in a meeting with other colleagues, to do your stapling for you?

I know for a fact that there are other colleagues she would get very short shrift from if she asked them to do the same but I was so speechless I just did it, fuming as I did so.

Rather than the actual issue (which isn't actually a crime against humanity, I will admit) do you think this indicates that she thinks she is my superior in asking me to do this? It wasn't a "shit I'm never going to get this done - Moomin could you help me please?" "It was a "Moomin can you do this please - I'm doing something else"

she gets paid the same as me but has some responsibility within our dept and my promotion is for something else which we both started recently. It's her first time of being promoted as well I think, whereas I've had responsibility previously (not wanting to boast but am just saying I've learned a bit about managing people in the past- the hard way!) How to deal with it? If I grit my teeth any more they will crack and fall out.

Do it wrong and really mess it up, she won't ask you to do it again! Or tell her you have too much of your own stapling to do you just don't think you will have time.

If she asks/tells you to do something like that again just laugh and say 'oh and shall i get you a cup of tea/pick up your dry cleaning as well'.

Diffuse the situation with humour - of course if she says yes to the cup of tea - just tell her you were joking!

Passive aggression is the answer. Say, 'Oh, can't you manage?' in a very concerned voice.

She asked me to do the stapling during the meeting! We work in an academic environment. I'm not saying it's beneath me or anything - just that I'd expect to only do my own stapling and if I did anyone else's it would be because I saw them struggling and I'd offer. No way would I dole it out to another colleague! (which makes me think she views me as some kind of underling)

Ohhh, no Kathy your idea is better it will make her feel like total arse who can't manage her work load in front of your collegues, call mine "Plan B".

I really can't bear all the chuffing about that goes with someone who has a huge sense of over-importance. All the heartfelt sighing that goes into an entrance into the coffee room; the looking terribly distracted and carrying papers about in sheafs in your arms as you pace about looking busy

...Cos the rest of us just sit around picking our arses and looking out of the window all the live-long day, of course.

Love all three plans. I will apply some "Passive aggression" in my everyday life! thanks kaththyis6incheshigh (love the nickname BTW)

Love all three plans. I will apply some "Passive aggression" in my everyday life! thanks kaththyis6incheshigh (love the nickname BTW)

is she a jobsworthy bastard?

gosh, no chance of a paperless office then? Things have not really moved on?

Oh please do the 'i'm not your slave' complete with hair toss!

'No, I'm in the middle of doing XYZ, if you need secretarial help you'll have to get someone else to do it.'

I was recently asked to bring 16 copies of a particular document to a meeting (ie. to make 16 copies of the document + collate + staple, and my reply was pretty much along the above lines. I think the person got the clear messge that they had overstepped the line. (But I am an evil hell-bitch ice-queen when I need to be).

I'd be tempted to staple the paperwork to her forehead.

Not up to now, really no... I've always got on very well with her in the past. But she is now spending lots of time with the dept head and the 2nd in line and they all act like they're organising the country's rise from recession the whole time. The other 2 are fairly insecure in their jobs I think and are scared of delegating or letting anyone share the load or come up with new ideas and it seems to be contagious.

but all this is getting RIGHT on my norks now and I'll have to think of a way to cope or I will end up being an out-and-out biyatch.

staple the words FUCK OFF into a piece of A4 and give it to her

Next time you're in a meeting take your stapler and ask her to do it "oh, do you mind? I think this is becoming a new meeting style!" tinkling laughter... etc etc

This has happen at my work when someone is given a little bit of responsibility it goes to their head. They start thinking they are the dog bollocks, brown nose for Britain and eventually piss everyone off. Just hold your head up high, do your job and refuse to be this womans secretary.

Was it stapling stuff for the meeting, and was she doing other stuff while you did it? I'd ask any colleague junior or senior who was just sat there to do the stapling if I had to do something else like set the projector up/sort my notes/take minutes.

If she asked you to do it when she was doing nothing then she is weird. If it wasn't stuff for the meeting she is very weird. Either way she is disorganised and everyone saw

id have said pardon??? in a very disbelieving tone then just busied myself - i think theres ways of asking people to do you a favour and it helps to know the right way.

Maybe in NZ it's different but I wouldn't have thought twice about doing someone's stapling.

She wasn't doing nothing, but she was late for the meeting, swept in with stacks of stuff, huffing and puffing (because she's soooo much busier than the rest of us and we needed a reminder ) and graciously dumped the papers onto my desk for me to staple in an ever-so-grateful and 'umble manner. Whilst I did this she floated around the room putting stuff into piles.

I agree with the "Oh, you disorganised old thing, aren't you coping" line - and hide some cheese in her filing cabinet.

THat's what I'm wondering...AIBU? I just knwo I wouldn't do this, and I do think it's indicative of her getting a bit above herself since this promotion