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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect that a walking 13mth old might want to get out of the buggy at some point while on a play trail.....

84 replies

mytetherisending · 14/11/2008 20:11

OK I have got my DB and SIL down for the weekend with their dd1 who is 13mths and suggested we go to a place with a play park and play trail. It may be wet and all the shoes dd1 has is a pair of black patent shoes , so I said that I could lend her a pair of wellies if she wished. SIL said no she would just keep dd in the buggy all the way round . Am I being unreasonable in thinking that a walking 13mth old might want to play?

OP posts:
guyFAwkesreQuiem · 14/11/2008 22:05

"More to the point would they not create hell if they were not allowed to get out? Mine would have screamed blue murder "

Nope (well DS3 does now at 17 months - but the others didn't at 13 months or at all for that matter).

Original poster
mytetherisending · 14/11/2008 22:05

No I have 2 children, 1 2.10yo and one 7mth old (who was happily sitting in the hay barn on the floor and bouncing on the bouncy castle with my help, while DN was strapped into her buggy!)

OP posts:
guyFAwkesreQuiem · 14/11/2008 22:06

ahhh - I see - you forgot to update your profile when your 2nd came along

In that case - well you have plenty of time to see how much they can vary

Original poster
mytetherisending · 14/11/2008 22:08

Guy- my kitchen has nothing usable for a step in any bottom cupboard and all are locked. Pans and glasses in higher shelving etc. I have no dining room chairs that a child could move from the living room to the kitchen without me noticing or any other step type object. My kitchen is completely child proof.

OP posts:
Original poster
mytetherisending · 14/11/2008 22:09

LOL dd2 went to Farmer Palmers at 2wks old! Was a bit more precious with dd1, think she was 6mths

OP posts:
Original poster
mytetherisending · 14/11/2008 22:11

So far both my girls seem to enjoy mess

OP posts:
guyFAwkesreQuiem · 14/11/2008 22:14
Original poster
mytetherisending · 14/11/2008 22:23

squash, baking trays, locked cupboard for cleaning stuff, nappies etc, food blender minus the blade, colondar, not much else.

OP posts:
Original poster
mytetherisending · 14/11/2008 22:26

dd1 can open the locked cupboards but doesn't bother with them as there is nothing of interest. Have to say when I minded I did have it gated off because I couldn't always be watching 3 children at once- nappy changes etc. Not necessary now though. Also dd1 got huge rows from very young if she went into things she wasn't meant to.

OP posts:
guyFAwkesreQuiem · 14/11/2008 22:26

ahhh now you see my DS2 and 3 would have made a "stool" out of nappies and baking trays PMSL.

guyFAwkesreQuiem · 14/11/2008 22:30

mind you they probably take after me - at much less than 12 months old I discovered that if I piled the soft toys that were inside my cot up at one end and stood on them, I could just reach some of the other soft toys. They would be added to the pile, I would then climb out of my cot, along a chest of drawers to the bookcase, rip my brothers books and crawl back into my cot - chucking the soft toys after I got in to remove the evidence. My brother got into a lot of trouble for not looking after his books properly until one day my mum sneaked upstairs and caught me at it

Original poster
mytetherisending · 14/11/2008 22:32

Ingenious My dd1 was bollocked for doing things she wasn't supposed to and wouldn't dare climb up now or at 12mths-now. She tried it about 2mths ago and luckily because her understanding is fantastic I could explain that the stool might slip backwards and that she would fall and bang her head. Since then she hasn't bothered. Same as I explained at 8mths that the oven is hot and used hot and cold water to demonstrate hot and cold- she never touched the oven.

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Original poster
mytetherisending · 14/11/2008 22:34

That is very funny! Its in the genes then LOL All I did was drop my brother of the settee at 6wks old!

OP posts:
guyFAwkesreQuiem · 14/11/2008 22:34

yes - unfortunately my ingenuity seems to have been short lived - I can't see past the end of my nose with most problems that need tackling these days

Original poster
mytetherisending · 14/11/2008 22:36

LOL thats the pregnancy brain that doesn't leave until the kids leave home! Apparently- still waiting to see if its true.

OP posts:
MadMarg · 14/11/2008 22:50

Op - I'm with guyFawkes here. My DS at 13 months wouldn't really have wanted to get out of the buggy to walk on surfaces that he wasn't confident on. In the house he runs around like a little lunatic, but if we're on the move somewhere, it's all I can do to get him to walk a bit. After a very short while he either wants to be carried or be in the buggy.

He is also VERY picky about keeping his hands clean. Doesn't seem to notice his face, guess he can't see it. But if he sees some food or something on his hands, he screams blue murder until it's wiped off. He never did get the concept of finger food, and even now he prefers to be fed rather than feeding himself, as he gets upset when he makes a mess. Sigh..... He seriously takes after his father, and that is NOT something that has been influenced, he's been like that from the beginning.

Shoshe · 14/11/2008 23:12

i have a 11 month old mindee who for the second time todat worked out how to let the pet rat out of its cage! Only one other child has managed it beore and he was 18 months by then!

Teth you would have been upon the chair

roobarbschmoobarb · 15/11/2008 03:10

Wow OP i'm not sure i've ever come across anyone as smug and self-satisified as you appear to be.
Sorry if thats not much of a contribution to the thread but i'm really too exasperated to do anything other than shake my head at your insistance that you are so absolutely right.
In fact you're an all-round parenting childminding superstar.

And I really dont get the smiley in relation to your DN only having one pair of shoes? Whats that all about?

So in conclusion i think YABU....to expect that you know better than your DNs own mother

Original poster
mytetherisending · 15/11/2008 10:04

roobarbs its not a about 1 pair of shoes, more about the practicality of patent shoes with buckles for a child to wear playing outdoors in the winter when feet are likely to get wet. IMO I just feel its cruel to expect a child to sit nicely in a pram when visiting a play area, when my neice enjoys being out and walking.

OP posts:
Original poster
mytetherisending · 15/11/2008 10:08

Shoshe why would I have been up on the chair? I like rats, my mother would have run a mile though!

OP posts:
2point4kids · 15/11/2008 11:12

If she is only 13 months she cant have been walking long at all.
Chances are these are her first pair of shoes and of course you buy the ones that look cute/pretty etc and dont think about wellies etc when buying the first shoes.
When DS1 first started walking he only really walked with his shoes on in toddler groups etc, not outside as he would be let out of pram, walk in random direction (not direction we are going) fall over in mud, cry, walk a bit more, touch things he shouldnte be touching, tantrum when taken away, eventually put back in pram etc etc

ie. He might want to get out the pram, but I knew it wouldnt be worth it in the long run for him or me...

Bubbaluv · 15/11/2008 11:39

Mytethering, I have to say I agree with you. If you had come on here and said that you went to an outdoor play area but wouldn't let your 13 month old out in case she got muddy - AIBU?, then all those here who have criticised would probably have been up in arms saying that children should be given every oppoortunity to play, explore and learn and that a little mud won;t hurt her!

Bubbaluv · 15/11/2008 11:41

How is a toddler supposed to learn to walk in wellies if you don't put them in wellies and let them learn?

roobarbschmoobarb · 15/11/2008 12:15

Which is fair emough Bubbaluv but maybe i ahve read it wrong...the DNs mother never said she didnt want the child to get muddy did she? That has only been inferred by the OP.

And at 13 months my DC only had one pair of shoes each...maybe your SIL is holding out on buying some winter shoes til the next shoe fitting. Thats perfectly reasonable IMO.

On the subject of wellies...this winter is the first that my children have had them. They are 3 and 2 and the reason is that any attempts to get their feet into them previously just did not work and led to a lot of unnecessary tears. And again on the subject of unsuitable shoes for Winter...a lot of my DDs shoes might have been seen as inappropriate for the season. Unfortunately because of her combined foot size and width we usually have the grand total of one pair of shoes to choose from. So its a take it or go barefoot situation.

You're making assumptions on so many levels and that tone you adopt is still making my teeth itch.

Bubbaluv · 15/11/2008 12:20

My friend's DD has been walking inher wellies since about 10 months and DS has been walking in his (starting off terribly but getting better) since 12 months.
I would wonder why someone would turn down the offer of at least TRYING wellies in preference of keeping a child all cooped up too! Seems a bit mean.
OP did your SIL give ANY reason why she turned down the offer?

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