to have DS2 aged 22 months to sleep through!?!?

[carocaro]

22 months later and never slept through, up at least twice, three times last night, just wailing non stop under his overs not wet wanting milk, evne just a coupls of ounces, woke us up, his older brother, the neighbours new baby.

am I being unreasonable to be totally mentally physchotic from the constant broken sleep?

DH is great an takes over at the weekend, but I need like a junkie a weeks worth of 8 hours to make me feel normal.

My brain is broken, I can' function.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

My DS was always waking up, wanting milk. At 18 months we thought, enough is enough. For a week we just held him and comforted him while he cried, but firmly put him back to bed without milk.

I was pleasantly surprised that it only took a week to stop it. I was ready for at least a month of battles, as he can be a stubborn little thing. I think babies don't know how to settle themselves when they wake up, and milk is a great settler, but after awhile is really only a habit, not a necessity.

I have just done controlled crying on my DD who is 13 months as she has only slept through 5 times in her life and I was going totally insane. We atarted last weekend and she has now slept from 7pm to 7am for 4 nights now!

This is what I did:-

Night 1:
DD cried - I waited 2 mins before I went it, picked her up, soothed her, after no more than 2 mins I went back out again (she was crying again by this point)
I then waited 5 mins before I went back in - did same
Then waited 10 mins - did the same
Then she cried again and fell asleep before 10 mins was up!

So all in all, she was up between 3 and 4.30am ish.

The next night was better - I think I didnt have to go in until 5 am

The following night was a bit like the first night again, but then after that, its all fine.

I accidently woke her up last night checking on her before I went to bed, grrr! And just settled her for 2 mins, walked out and within 5 mins she had settled back down to sleep again.

It really has transformed things immensley and it hasnt traumatised her at all ;)

Good luck

course YANBU

you are shattered ((HUG)) and i am not suprised

first of all, you need to be prepared to prob have maybe a week of hell and truely sleepless nights while you do ST or CC

when he cries, go in, confort, stroke but ideally dont pick up, then go out of room

leave for 2 mins

do the same

leave for 5 mins

keep going in and repeating the above

it may take a few hours to calm and settle but the next night it will be easier and 3rd and 4th night much easier

do not give in halfway through as your child will reliese this, and will make it worse so keep going in and soothing

generally bad sleepers can be retrained in 7/14 days BUT you must do the same thing EVERY night and DONT give milk/water etc

good luck

Ah, I feel for you - I really do.My DS is 19months and hasn't slept through since he was a few months old.

He doesn't rely on milk etc anymore but screams to be in our bed and tbh, I normally give in as I am just so tired to fight over it!

He then squirms, squirms and squirms all night and my dh ends up in the spare room every night! I certainly don't suggest taking him into your bed (we only started that about a year ago when he wasn't well one night and he hasn't left since!).

I have no advice really, apart from maybe readng the baby whisperer for sleep traning tips? I quite like her approach. I just wanted to offer my sympathies!

Lukesmammy - ditto.

lukes - my dd (11 months) does the same as your ds - squirms lots in bed.

carocaro - just sending you lots of hugs and if anyone finds a miracle cure for getting babies to sleep throught the night let me know

The squirming is the worst. Because you know there is nowhere to go from there. You've already done what they wanted and put them in with you, and they're STILL NOT ASLEEP. AAARRRGHHH.

We had this with dd1.

Atfer speaking to the doctor we given advice to try pirton or phenagen before bed for a week to break the habit of the constant waking. We only gave her pirton for 3 nights and she has slept through ever since.

That makes me really uneasy for some reason.

We gave DD2 Piriton to combat her itchiness for exczema as she had it quite severley when she was about 4-5 months - done nothing for making ehr sleep better, even though all the docs said it might make her drowsy.

I can honestly say, hand on heart, what I did with DD last week (see above) has worked quickly and effectively for everyone. Just bite the bullet and do it. A few nights of crying = weeks of full nights sleep. Its worth it in the long run for everyone, including the little ones.

My DS is 22 months and we have a merry go round of sleeping through and then lots of sleepless nights, normally due to a cold or teething etc. I am very weak and tend to take him into the spare bed for the first few nights whilst he gets better and then of cause he expects it and so I have a couple more nights of being woken up. At about this stage I get strong and do the CC thing but I don't go into him at all because this makes it worse I just lie there and cry silently until he drops off........normally takes about 15 mins, on a good day/night. After about 3 nights he just does the odd mumble during the night but never for long.

all mine have been like this
Ds finally slept through at 3.11yrs..although still wakes often if he is stressed etc like every night this week at 5.1yrs
DD1 is 2.11yrs and has slept through the past week
DD2 is 22mths and is the champion none sleeper..she managed to wake from 1-6am on sunday night/monday morning

Piriton/medised has been given for colds and excema etc but has had zilch effect on sleeping as has pick up put down done from 4mths old until 13mths. Controlled crying..never worked as at 12mths all of them were in beds so just got up.

Boobalina - were you a bit terrified when you started the controlled crying?

I need to do something as we are all (dd especially) knackered, but I admit, I am petrified of starting.

DD1 did not sleep trough a full night until she started nursery.

When she was about 11 mth old I listened to a good intentionned person who said I should let her cry for a bit and "she would settle on her own". Poor DD cried for 2 minutes and then vomited all her last meal. I never did it again. Now with three more children I have not had a single full night sleep for the last 9 years. I am knackered but I know why and never regretted not to let any of my children cry in their cot/bed.

SILs think I am very weak (bordreline bonkers) allowing DC4 (2yo) to still wake me up at night but I now what I want, and that is NOT to hear my children cry, even for a few minutes.

You see onthewarpath, I agree with you, deep down. But dd has regressed to the point where last night she didn't go to bed (with me) until 9pm, the night before was 10pm, and I am back to eating my dinner in silence in bed at 10pm!

So what else can I do?

My DS didn't sleep through the night consistently until he was 2 and a half. It was very hard going. You have my sympathies totally. Unfortunately, no advice, really. We never got on with controlled crying - DS just got sick and I couldn't bear hearing him bawl. It just happened when it happened for us.

Another night waker here and we have tried loads of different techniques - I really haven't found anything that works for a sustained period of time. I've just tried to accept it as best I can - not accepted it THAT well though as was crying like a baby between 4-6am this morning . No advice to give just that CC really didn't work for us, DS2 is very strong willed and doesn't mind wailing for an hour or more. In fact he laughs in between sometimes he's enjoying it so much. Massive sympathy.

pinkjenny, the idea of giving any sort of medecine to achild just so you can have a good night sleep also does make me uneasy.

"Look at I being unreasonable?: To give my child medised because I need some sleep!"

I do not think there is a "one size fits all" solution as far as baby sleep is concerned. You have not yet found what works for you but do not dispear, I am sure time will come when we will have a good night sleep. Don't know when but it WILL! Wont'it ?

It bloody well better!

Pinkjenny - to be honest I was soo very tired and so was DD, and DS and OH that NONE OF US could continue the way it was. It wasnt healthy basically. DS was being woken up by DD as they share a room and exhausted at Preschool. Me and OH were on our knees at work as well as at home, tempers fraying, not safe driving really etc.

So no, I wasnt terrified at controlled crying. Particularly becuase I wasnt letting her cry it out,. I was still goin in to settle her each time, just slowly slowly drawing out the time I returned to her. If she was crying in a way that sounded like she was going to be sick, I would go in sooner.

I personally dont think its right for a child to still be sleeping poorly at 3, 4 or 5 and needing to be settled to go back to sleep, unless there is a medical reason. Its not good for them or the family.

If you give your child lots and lots of reassurance throughout the day and bedtime, they'll grow to be confident.

I know I sound rather cold and tough, but I knew my daughter wouldnt die of crying for maxium of 10 mins with me in the room next to hers with paper thin walls. Thats all it was at the end and I think we only got to 8 mins before shes snuggled back down and went to sleep.

You wouldnt be mean in helping your daughter to sleep properly, you would be a good parent. My mum obvisously did something similar with me as I have always been a great sleeper, as have all my brothers and sister (family of 5 kids).

I think putting it all into perspective and seeing the ultimate goal is key.

I think its different strokes for different folks tbh.

I don't think you sound cold and tough at all Boobalina, my mate did cc with her little girl similar to the way you did it - i.e, kept going in to comfort but prolonging the times - not just left to cry. It worked for her and now her dd is a great sleeper.

With my ds however, its just something I know I can't do.I know I would probably find it too hard and give in halfway through and then confuse the little man all the more!

He is also very strong willed and I think for me, there are other ways to help him sleep properly - such as the pick up put down thing advocated in the baby whisperer - I just need to stick at it I think!

I do agree Lukesmammy, very nicely put.

x

I am now consecutively posting about this issue on four different threads. And apparently there are NO answers.

Gutted.

for tired dd and tired mummy.

I think the answer is to be consistent - if you are sure that DC has had enough to eat/drink in the day and before bedtime and isn't ill with anything, then it's OK to say to yourself and them, 'it's bedtime, night-time is when we sleep', etc. And to keep doing that. Boobalina's advice about going in and comforting when needed, but leaving it longer each time, seems pretty sound to me. Little ones need to sleep (not to mention that parents do too!), and often they are crying because they're tired and just need to settle. There's a huge difference between a going-to-sleep whinge and a full-on-about-to-vomit scream - it really is OK to not rush in if it's the former. I've always kept it dark for DCs as well - so I never put lights on at night, or move them into a lighted room, I just soothe them or give medicine or whatever's needed in a dark room with minimal talking.

Sorry if all that's obvious. It's hell when you keep being woken up. Even if they settle back to sleep, if you've been woken once or twice it's sometimes really hard to relax enough to sleep - or so I've found, lying there crossly awake at some unearthly hour while DCs and DH are sound.