to have DS2 aged 22 months to sleep through!?!?

[carocaro]

22 months later and never slept through, up at least twice, three times last night, just wailing non stop under his overs not wet wanting milk, evne just a coupls of ounces, woke us up, his older brother, the neighbours new baby.

am I being unreasonable to be totally mentally physchotic from the constant broken sleep?

DH is great an takes over at the weekend, but I need like a junkie a weeks worth of 8 hours to make me feel normal.

My brain is broken, I can' function.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I really sympathise, pink jenny. And at the risk of getting shot down by people who disagree, I have to say that CC really worked for both my dds. It really isn't as harsh as people make out. I didn't try for a whole night's sleep at once. I focused on one particular waking - say the 5am one first (don't know if your ds has regular wakings though), then did what Boobalina did - go in after 2 mins, then 5, then 10 - and it didn't go beyond that. It took 2 nights. Once that one was sorted, I waited a few weeks and then worked on the next waking - again, 2 nights. I think people on MN get the wrong idea of CC - you don't leave your baby to scream all night. As a result, dd2, who was a poor sleeper, is now a really good sleeper, she is happier in the day - and I am better able to look after her and dd1. I really can't see how encouraging a child to sleep well - which they need as much as they do food - is harmful. Yes, its hard, but I think its a Good Thing in the end if your child sleeps because of it. And there'd a lot less crying in the long run (both parent and child).

Anyway, whatever you do, I really hope it works and that you manage to get some sleep soon. best of luck.

Last night was awful. It has gotten to the point where she doesn't even want to be comforted by me in her bedroom, because she wants me to take her out and into our bed. I was putting my arms out to her and she was saying, 'no, no'. It was heartbreaking and I feel physically sick about it.

I don't know what to do. I had to just keep coming out and going back in, and she was just so upset. In the end I caved, and she fell asleep in our bed.

I'm useless.

Pinkjenny you are not useless!!

I really, really hated the idea of controlled crying. With DS1 he reached his second birthday and had still never slept through and I couldn't take it any more! Decided not to go in when he woke crying one night to see what happened. He cried for 5 minutes. I was just about to go in, then he stopped....and has slept through every night since. I couldn't believe it.

Have finally had enough this week with DS2 who at 15 months is still very much 'my baby' and I couldn't bear the thought of him crying. Have co-slept since he was 3 months. Still bf. Anyway, he has never slept though either and I am pg again and neeeeeed more sleep!!! Decided after research on here to do cc. Put him in his cot (which he has NEVER slept in!) when he was tired. He cried of course, but sounded more angry than distressed. Went in after 2 mins, 4 mins, 6 mins, 8 mins. Then he was asleep and slept through until morning. I truly could not believe it. The next night I left him for 5 minutes, went in, then left and he was asleep before the next 5 mins was up. Tues and Wed were pretty much the same. Last night he went to sleep without any crying at all.

I really understand the feeling of not wanting them to cry but there comes a point for most people that something has to be done for the sake of our sanity.

Meant to say, when I went into his room each time I didn't pick him up, just laid him back down (he was standing up, shaking the bars!!), said 'night night' and walked out the room.

Toby - that is fantastic. I think I'm a bit scared to start, because I know I'll have to see it through, and it could go on for hours. Does that sound stupid?

LOL at 'shaking the bars'. Sounds a lot like my dd!

You're not useless! You might be tired, but not useless - you comforted your child in the way she wanted. That's what mothers do.

Would it be worth having a night or two somewhere else, just to break the spell - say at your mum's or a friend's? Or have a friend come to yours, and perhaps you go out? Of course, that could make it worse, but then you would have someone else going in to comfort her, to give you a break, and for her to understand that she can't always be in your bed...just a thought. And what about DP/H? Could he try comforting her instead of you?

She cries even harder when dh goes in! I think she knows he's not as soft a touch as me...

She's full of cold at the moment, I don't really want to do anything whilst she's under the weather, but I do want to start thinking of a plan.

The bottle seems to be the trigger. She used to happily sit on my knee in the chair in her room and drink it, whereas now as soon as she sees it, she goes mental and starts pushing it away, saying, 'no way, no way' (btw I don't know where she got that from!). She will, however, drink it in our bed. Maybe if I start giving her a bottle downstairs? And letting her come downstairs after her bath for a bottle and a story?

Do you always take a bottle in? How about not going in with one?

If you can stomach it, I'd try the CC way. Tobytortoise's story must have been reassuring...you might be pleasantly surprised, and if you're not,and it goes on for too long, you can stop straightaway. But you're right, pick a night to start when all is well, no illness etc

I had 2 non sleepers even ended up in sleep clinic with one - no help, eventually after 4 yrs with 2, I got sleep. Not ideal but had one or the other in bed with me anything to get sleep I was desperate. Looking back it was hell but I got through somehow and you will look back on this too one day, so sympathise with you BIG time. Now I find as they are older at school there are their emotional problems to deal with, so always something to challange us mums. Sleep deprivation is sooooo hard and I do feel for you but sounds corny, it will improve, can you nap in the day? see your GP or HV. All the best x