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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be seething about my DD being given a store card with £150 spending limit

49 replies

MadCreamLady · 11/11/2008 10:12

Despite her having NO income and being only 18. Um, i thought that there was supposed to be a credit crunch, you know - that thing where the banks and money lenders finally have to lend responsibly and not lend money to people who have no way of paying it back????

YEs, i know full well that my DD should not have got the card, that she was irresponsible herself, but you know what - sometimes, 18 year old girls are irresponsible and just assume that someone else will bail them out! (that will be me then ) So, of course they dangled the "would madam like to recieve a 10% discount on her purchase, you only have to fill this form in, it will only take a minute or two".........Hooked! I mean, don't they do fucking credit checks? I tried to get a store card once, ages ago, but because i had only lived in my property (that i own!) 6 monhts it came back "computor says no"

So, she is not living at home, but she gave our address, when the letter comes with the card in it - i shall be ready - with my heavy duty credit card splitting scissors.

OP posts:

pingping · 11/11/2008 10:21

MCL have you asked her how she was going to pay for it?

Is she a student? My friend is a student and Abbey gave her a credit card with £2500 limit on it she had no income. I am not a student have a large income but got refused very weird.

LadyMuck · 11/11/2008 10:24

Where is she living, and how is her accommodation being funded? Does she really have no form of income at all or is it that she is a student and therefore is being allowed credit on the basis of future earning capacity?

Personally I would be seething at the fact that she had fraudulently obtained credit, by using your address. Presumably had she put her own address she would have been refused.

Yes there is a credit crunch, but this doesn't mean that there will be no credit available to adults at all. That said given that she shouldn't have used your address for the purpose I think that the heavy duty credit card scissors will be appropriate!

CharleeInChains · 11/11/2008 10:27

I think toses scissors will come in handy!

At the age of 18 she should be responisble enough to know she can't afford a store card and not get one. She is an adult after all.

nametaken · 11/11/2008 10:27

Oh she's just an 18 year old who's been tempted for the first time. She'll learn the hard way probably.

And yes I do think it's disgusting the way these people behave it is nothing but pure shareholders greed, especially as she has no income whatsoever. Why don't you complain and embarres them.

This is why I think financial management should be part of the national curriculum, especially for teenagers.

Get those scissors out.

mooog · 11/11/2008 10:28

I think it is to do with getting the young ones hooked from the beginning. Credit Crunch or not, the banks and the like have no scruples about how they make their money and they will make plenty out of the young borrowers, especially when all they will be able to afford to repay bank is the interest, which by the way suits the banks very well.

nametaken · 11/11/2008 10:28

Forgot to add, you're not responsible for any debt, she is.

ClareVoiant · 11/11/2008 10:28

Thats dreadful. Yes, please get her to cut it up (if you do it for her you stand the risk of her rebelling and getting another card just to piss you off). Is she good at maths? Get her to work out how much interest she would have to pay if she doesn't say it off immediately. Usually Store cards are around 25-30% ! So there's no saving to be had on the 10% off.

KatieDD · 11/11/2008 10:28

Students are the target market, she has student loans, they are seen as income and as she's fresh meat they want her into debt as soon as possible.
At the moment she has freedom and choices, that needs to be ended asap, so "they" can make her get a job to pay it back, win win you see.

ChopsTheDuck · 11/11/2008 10:33

students do get offered credit so easily. We're still paying off debt from all the credit cards that dp had at uni. At that age, you don't realise how easy it is to go from £150 to thousands.

Original poster

MadCreamLady · 11/11/2008 10:40

She is not a student. She was living with her BF until last week, now she is staying with my mum mostly because she chose a time when we are in disarray at home and its easier just now, so officially she lives here. But i refuse to let her sign on and get dole.

I think she thinks her BF is gonig to pay for it, but her coat is on a shakey nail in that relationship so she shouldn't be relying on it.

Its just so annoying how easy it is all made......its the road to hell, believe me, i know

OP posts:

nickytwotimes · 11/11/2008 10:41

I got in to terrible trouble as a youngster with store cards.
Get shot of it ASAP

Simplysally · 11/11/2008 10:46

I'd be tempted to send it back saying that no-one of that name lived at my address. Trouble is, it's so easy to slip into debt... I'm still paying off debts acquired during my student years and I went as a mature student! I think the year after next I might be gettting a bit clear - and I graduated in 2005.

FfreckleFface · 11/11/2008 10:50

Didn't you say she was 18? If so, it is in HER name, therefore it is HER decision, as it will be HER debt. And a £150 store card is a better place to start than a credit card with a potentially huge credit limit. Cutting up the card seems to send the message that you think she is still a child...and I know how I would have reacted to that when I was 18!

So, I think that while you are right to be concerned, YABU. Why not use the opportunity to chat to her about the evils of store cards and the importance of paying the full balance every month - who knows, she might surprise you.

Oh, and when I read the thread title I was convinced you were going to say she was 12 or something...

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 11/11/2008 10:53

One thing made me curious why will you not allow her to sign on?

Original poster

MadCreamLady · 11/11/2008 11:04

i need a cleaner! great name BTW. Two reasons, firstly i don't want her relying on hand outs, she needs to get off of her lazy arse and GET A JOB! and secondly, we currently are in receipt of tax credits, if she signs on, we will lose them.

freckle, yes, she is 18 and i was pregnant with her at that age. BUT the fact remains that she has no job, no income, therefore no way of paying the money back - she has had no credit card in the past so no credit history - so what criteria did they use to do the credit assesment?

I am sensitive about this because we have acrued huge debts, and it all started with a fecking set of wardrobes that we bought on credit . I rue the day i can promise you - i don't want her going down that road. But more importantly i don't want her to think that she can just wing it through life, she needs to learn that she must work for nice things etc. So, if her BF doesn't cough up, and why the hell should he! I am put in the position where, i either stump up the money myself and i quite frankly can't afford to, or i let my daughter get into financial shit and i just don't want that for her.

I am really quite upset about it actually. Yes, i do think that i might complain to the store, but she is 18 so they will laugh in my face wont they. Its disgusting. Not just the fact that my DD has been given this, but she will be far from the only one!

OP posts:

Simplysally · 11/11/2008 11:12

She may have got a guarantor for the card when she applied -her BF maybe?

LadyMuck · 11/11/2008 11:18

By not allowing her to sign on you are treating her as a child (though of course you can't actually stop her from signing on). Yes of course she should get a job, but to be honest you maay find that if she has the slightest ounce of motivation in the first place then actually having to go to the Jobcentre and fill out application forms (which she will have to do to keep her HSA) may be fairly motivational.

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 11/11/2008 11:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Cies · 11/11/2008 11:33

I think a talk about the exhorbitant interest rates on store cards, and the importance of paying the bill off each month without fail wouldn't go amiss.

Agree that as an 18yo she can and probably will do as she likes.

At her age I also had a credit card and a store card, and I used both in a responsible manner taking advantage of offers and discounts.

Obviously, you know your daughter and know if this is what she will do or not.

pookamoo · 11/11/2008 11:36

don't just cut the card up!

If she is not going to keep it, make sure you/she gets it properly cancelled. I once made the mistake of taking out a store card for the 10%, then I cut it up when it arrived. What happened? I STILL get mail from them years later, and am on numerous databases. The trouble is, once you sign up to a card, you get a credit rating and then all the other companies are after you! It could be the start of something very tedious and in fact quite dangerous.

When the card arrives, If I were in your position, I would have a chat with her about the risks involved, and make sure she sees that this could be the start of a slippery slope.
Then she can call the card company and cancel the card properly.

Good luck

AbbeyA · 11/11/2008 11:38

It isn't just 18 yr olds-my credit card company has just written offering me incentives to double my spending each month!! They shouldn't do it-especially not at the moment.

hanaflower · 11/11/2008 11:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheNinkynork · 11/11/2008 11:45

Why are you worried about losing tax credits if she isn't living with you? I thought you were supposed to inform HMRC of changes such as a child moving out?

If I were you, I'd tell her to claim, then as another poster has said, she'd have to prove she was actively seeking work. It'd make sure she was up-to-date with N.I contributions too, or do they not kick in until 19?

Mumi · 11/11/2008 11:47

Because she is 18, not only can you not be held responsible for her debt, but you can't stop her signing on.

Signing can go one of 1 ways: she is forced to apply for jobs in order to receive benefit and therefore pay you rent to recompensate you for the loss of tax credits, or she is signed off from JSA for not doing so and you get them back. You can't lose.

Also, interfering with someone else mail is a criminal offence.

It's not the card you need to cut - it's the apron strings.

themoon66 · 11/11/2008 11:50

Do we have parallel lives MCL? We had a lot of credit card debt when first married and nothing much to show for it apart from bits of furniture and a beaten up old car. It took us nearly 20 years to clear the debt.

At 18 DD went to live with her boyfriend. She was a student with a very part time job doing bar work 2 or 3 evenings a week. She took out a credit card using our home address.

The first we heard of it was when a letter came addressed to her. I rang her and she told me to open it, thinking it was from the university. It was from debt collectors. She owed £1,000

After much angst and arguments, we got them to agree to take £10 a month. We pay this. The couple of times I've given her the paying in book she has either lost it or just forgotten to pay it and I end up with debt collectors at MY door yet again.

Please do not let her have ANY cards.

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