To be seething about my DD being given a store card with £150 spending limit

[MadCreamLady]

Despite her having NO income and being only 18. Um, i thought that there was supposed to be a credit crunch, you know - that thing where the banks and money lenders finally have to lend responsibly and not lend money to people who have no way of paying it back????

YEs, i know full well that my DD should not have got the card, that she was irresponsible herself, but you know what - sometimes, 18 year old girls are irresponsible and just assume that someone else will bail them out! (that will be me then ) So, of course they dangled the "would madam like to recieve a 10% discount on her purchase, you only have to fill this form in, it will only take a minute or two".........Hooked! I mean, don't they do fucking credit checks? I tried to get a store card once, ages ago, but because i had only lived in my property (that i own!) 6 monhts it came back "computor says no"

So, she is not living at home, but she gave our address, when the letter comes with the card in it - i shall be ready - with my heavy duty credit card splitting scissors.

My brother bought a suit for a job interview 15 years ago in Debenhams, then a couple of other bits and pieces. The debt was not big but he was on a low wage so only paid the minimum. He was still paying it years later, and the amount owed was not decreasing. He paid for that suit 20times over.

The stores know exactly why they offer inexperienced young adults store cards.

Your DD needs to know the pitfalls, and take responsibility for her own life. She should cancel the card herself.

You can not stop her having cards-she is an adult.
This is why people need to start letting go in a gradual way. We have posters on here who control every aspect of their DCs life when they are 16yrs and it comes very hard to have no control whatsoever 2 yrs later! If you ring a bank about your 18yr old finances they will refuse to speak to you.

Should you be getting tax credits at all for an 18 year old who is not in education or training?

From HMRC:

If your child leaves school or training
You must let us know within one month if your child leaves full-time education or approved training. If you don't we might keep on paying you tax credits that you shouldn't get. If we've overpaid you, you'll usually have to pay the money back. We may also charge you a penalty.

I know I'm veering off-topic here, (LEM?) but they are right bastards about clawing back overpayments and you need your full entitlement for your DD2.

Tell me to feck off if you like

Surely if she's 18 you're not entitled to claim tax credits rather than her signing on in her own right (and being subject to conditions of JSA such as looking for a job). You're not being unreasonable to object to her easily getting a store card but I don't think your financial arrangements sound reasonable. Also, you shouldn't be getting tax credits for someone who doesn't live with you.

MadCreamLady I think you're right to be worried about this for the simple reason that if your DD gets into debt, it WILL affect your own credit rating. Despite never having made a late payment in my life, my rating plummeted when I moved in with my (now ex) DP because his credit rating was appalling. People who share the same address affect each other's credit history, particularly if you also share the same surname. As far as I am aware, this applies unless you go to the trouble of separating your names in terms of credit history, which can be difficult and time-consuming.

So while I think you are being a tad unreasonable to try and influence your adult DDs life in this way, I think you are being totally reasonable to be unhappy about how it may affect you and to worry about whether or not she is able to truly understand how dangerous credit can be unless it is handled with extreme care.

I hardly need to cut the apron strings, she has LEFT HOME!! Does this mean i no longer should care what happens to her then? That i shouldn't act in her best interests!!

Good point about the inland rev (cant stop calling it that!). When we claimed tax credits she wasn't here, so didn't put her on the list. Interestingly a electoral roll thing has come through the door and we are quite unsure as to what to do. She was living with her BF, at his parents, who are retired. She has now moved out, but is still seeing him, she has gone to my mum, who is in receipt of several benefits, although i don't think any of them are means tested on account of them being pension credits and disability payments of some kind. Wasn't really sure what to put on the electoral roll, she doesn't live here but she is very much in a transitional time. .

Tax credits though, we are probably not going to be entitled to anymore - remind myself to ring them and let them know. So maybe should just register as being here.

That is actually a very good point that a couple of you made about the dole, because they will be on her case like a woodpecker at the head. I constantly nag her, but given up, she is as stubborn as an ox - she needs to find her "way", she is actually very intelligent, but has been spoilt and managed to fall on her feet with a very generous BF, which i don't think is that good a thing and that he is a big of a mug really. Its not something im proud of her for i can tell you.

Im seeing her today, will have a chat to her about the card, i wont cut it up, but i will make it very clear what could happen.

It is so easy for financial difficulties to suddenly spiral. I think she only has £40 on the card, i suppose what i should be doing is trying to nag encourage her into earning some money to be able to pay for it - i just don't understand why she doesn't want to work and then have lots of her own money to enjoy. Silly Cow

I love the way everyone is saying it's none of the OP's business. It wouldn't be if her daughter had a job but she doesn't and she lives with her so who is going to pay the £150 a month off? I know what would have ended up happening when I lived at home with no income! Mum would have had to bail me out.

I'd tell her you have no intention on paying the bill off for her so she has a choice, she either cuts the card up and cancels it herself or gets a job or she can deal with the bailiffs personally.

Ninkynork, we are not getting tax credits for her, i have a three year old DD2 so i'll resist the urge to tell you to feck off.

Of course you care what happens to her-I would worry about it. However you can't do what someone suggested and not let her have any cards! I find it very worrying and think teenagers need lessons about money and borrowing when they are still at school.
My DS wanted me to sort something out at the bank for him as he was 200 miles away-they still wouldn't talk to me!

Sorry, I knew about DD2 but was confused as to why DD1 signing on would affect them. Didn't want you to get into trouble is all, I know what they're like!

Off I feck

why dont u give her some finance lessons? show her how to budget,save, manage her card properly and explain what will happen if she doesnt.she could also ask for her limit to be reduced to a more relistic affordable limit.she was a bit cheeky using ur address without asking ,but mabey its because she wants your help with money/credit?good luck ,hope it works out for u both

"I hardly need to cut the apron strings, she has LEFT HOME!!"

You're still letting her use your home as an official address, no, no she hasn't, not really.

You say you'd feel obliged to bail her out, but actually you don't have to - you'd choose to. By doing so, you make it your problem, not hers.

"Does this mean i no longer should care what happens to her then? That i shouldn't act in her best interests!!"

Caring or acting in her best interests and letting her make her own mistakes aren't mutually exclusive.

Even if it is just 40quid, my brother only owed 100pounds and paid back many many times that. My parents had problems with him not paying back things and being registered at their address.

It is easy to say, "she should stand on her own two feet" but she is still the OP's daughter and of course she feels responsible for her.

If your mum is receiving pension credit then she is likely to be receiving council tax benefit which would be affected by having another adult in the house. Also if she rents the house then she is likely to receive housing benefit, again which would be affected by a non-dependent adult. Whilst your mother is clearly also an adult in her own right you might want to let her know this.

Your mum should let the council know that your daughter is living with her. The council will need details of your daughter's income, otherwise they will apply the maximum level of deduction from your mum's benefit. For this reason alone I would encourage your daughter to sign on.

I think if you want your daughter to act responsibly about money you need to treat her as an adult. Harsh as this may seem it is neither your decision or your responsibility whether she signs on, takes out a store card etc Obviously you are worried (and judging by my parents are likely to be so for the rest of your life) but I don't think you should interfere (including paying off any debts she accrues).

I don't think an "adult" child signing on would affect such benefits as pension etc. My memory is that if adults in a household who clearly aren't in a married or cohabiting couple do get recognised as having a separate financial status. I don't know how tax credits treat such income but it might be worth trying to find out rather than assuming she can't sign on or whatever. It might be good news for you on tax credits but best find out sooner rather than later.

However, if your mum gets a single person's council tax discount (different from council tax benefit, which is income based), that could be affected if your daughter is on record as living there.

I can understand why you'd be shocked they gave her credit when she has no income....how did that happen? I dont get it?

However if you're thinking about intercepting her mail and cutting up the card (on her behalf) then you havent cut the apron strings at all regardless of whether she lives there or not.

Maybe the best solution would be to sit down and talk about what having the card means and maybe about financial responsibility in general.

With regards to her not having a job - as long as she's not signing on and presumably getting by financially because you are all variously supporting her then its conceivable that she will aimlessly drift along like this for much longer than if she were actually signing on. If she were in receipt of JSA then she'd have to actively seek work and provide evidence of that. Might give her some focus, plus there may be job opportunities brought to her attention that she may not otherwise have considered.

I dont however get how her being in receipt of JSA would affect your Tax Credits for your other daughter (i'm assuming CTC and not WTC?)

Rather than cutting up the card why not return it "Not at this address" it's not tampering with post.

The store assistant was probably on commission, so credit checks etc, are just needless bureaucracy that stands in the way of making extra cash. A friend of mine worked in a large high st store, shop assistants would routinely lie to customers about the nature of the storecard in order to get higher sales and hence higher comissions.

Not sure how her claiming JSA would affect your tax credits.

In any case, if she signs on, and gets her £41 a week (whoop-de-do) she will

a: have an income of sorts, to spend as she likes

b: instantly make you feel better about telling her where to get off if she comes asking you for money (as she's got her own income)

c: have a strong incentive to get a job, given the minimal levels of JSA.

Speak to your local welfare rights office.

Just to update this - DD1 came around to pick the letter up. Her DP is going to pay for the dress anyway, he was going to at the time (lucky mare!). When they pay for the dress she is going to cancel the card.

Apparently they made NO credit check, she just had to sign that either her or her partner was working. She said that the card was sold to her on the basis of receiving discount on the item. It wasn't until she had filled the form in that she was told it was a store credit card. I know she is telling the truth as this has happened to me and i have turned straight around and said, well then no thankyou i will pay now thankyou very much. They don't even let you pay for your item there and then so desperate are they to get you paying them for credit. So this is clearly quite heavy handed marketing if you ask me. I said to her, why didn't she just say no i don't want a store card, and she said, because i had stood there all that time waiting to fill the form in1!! They do it on purpose i tell ya!

As to her living arrangements - well, that is anyones guess just now - some days she is at my mums, some days she is at her BFs, i suspect she will move back in with him - me, im just her mother - what would i know

yabu, you should be mad t your daughter and no one else.
they offered her a legal service andshe decided to avail of it. i fnd it difficult to see why you should be mad at them in any way

blimey i got into trouble when i had a student over draft and stopped being a student..there was a daily charge plus an inflated interest charge which then got passed to a debt collection place, the amount spiralled and i got the fright of my life. as a consequence ive never applied for a store card/credit card etc.

can you do the 'i'm rather disappointed routine' with dd?

Hi,

I can assure you all, sales assistants make no money from these cards. What they get is questioned in their appraisal if they have not made their strictly managed targets and it can effect pay rises.. not that they are worth bothering about. The store that sells the card, or the company makes money from each one.

The managers of these stores get grief on a daily basis about targets.

It is true they are often sold to people who dont understand what they are. We do our best to inform you all we promise!

The account can be paid off in full 24 hours later and never needs to be used again.

As for selling them to teens, yes, unethical. Cant say much else about that!

I will say though that thanks to people understanding how bad they are, sales of them have gone down, so may i encourage you all to just say no and help us rid them from our workplaces!!!