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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think so called friends are so out of order

66 replies

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/11/2008 19:35

dds birthday party yesterday at church hall.40 kids (all dds reception class) plus friends and family kids.

invited friends from work,one is my immediate boss and one another manager like me.

it was a lovely day,the kids loved it and so did the parents which were predominatly school mums.

my boss said today in fron of two other managers that she and other girl stood out as they were 'middle class' and as soon as they walked in they thought it and stayed at the back of the hall.Her comment was something along the lines of "I said god look at us we are the only middle class people here' and she said the other girl who I believed until now to be one of the nicest girls i know said "oo look what I am wearing i really stand out as boho..'

then she made a remark about me giving the kids squash (it was very diluted) and making the kids hyper

you would have thought that i had invited a load of down and outs.The school mums are lovely and a real mix of SAHM and professional but more importantly good people

i asked her how she could presume that the other adults were not middle class and really did it matter

im so angry.my family were there too.

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BalloonSlayer · 10/11/2008 21:18

Well chocpeanut, rather than be seen to take offence that they were fancing themselves above you by calling themselves middle class, I thought you could wilfully misunderstand and be seen to assume that they considered themselves "inferior" in a class-type way.

Wasn't Kate Middleton looked down on for being middle class?

Incidentally, my DH uses "Middle Class" as an insult. He is the most middle class person you've ever met but in his own eyes will be working class till the day he dies.

Many things - aubergines, couscous, mange-tout, skiing, avocados, Tuscany are all dismissed with the withering label: "Fucking middle class."

But he likes sun-dried tomatoes

Doodle2U · 10/11/2008 21:21

Fook me Peanut - do you know anything about children? Of course you don't give them squash at a PARTY!

Everyone knows you offer Evian or yak's milk and as for your food list - for the love of all things organic...where were your lentils? Where were your yams? Plain rice or maybe wild rice (well, it's a party after all).

Those two women are vulgar in the extreme. Back off and let them bloody wonder why! Bollocks to them! Stick with real people, like the mums from school.

Original poster
CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/11/2008 21:23

lol

thanks i feel better now

i am going to rise above it

my late mum used to say if you cant say something nice then dont say anything at all

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poppy34 · 10/11/2008 21:24

your mum was right - I bet they don't eat their salad out of wooden bowls or have an organic delivery box

Original poster
CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/11/2008 21:24

i know it was a good party cos one of the little kids said 'dds mum,this is the best pary ever!'

makes it all worthwhile

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mammyofET · 10/11/2008 21:29

Agree with all other opinions on here Peanut. They sound vulgar, rude and a bit odd tbh.

Their comments say more about them than they do about your party.

LOL at Balloonslayer - I am a (very) working class woman with a (very) middles class job and I can totally see where your dh is coming from.

BalloonSlayer · 10/11/2008 21:32

MammyofET, he is a strict veggie (middle class, no?) but will not even try hummus as it's TFMC...

mammyofET · 10/11/2008 21:42

BalloonSlayer it is brilliant - I shall continue this list in my head...olives....

Sorry to hijack Peanut but hopefully all of us 'normal' people have made you feel a lot better.

Original poster
CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/11/2008 21:48

yes much better thanks

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LittleWhizzingBella · 10/11/2008 21:51

God they sound like a couple of cunts

And not v. middle class tbh. Middle class people usually have better manners than that.

notsoseriousanymore · 10/11/2008 21:58

do they?

Original poster
CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/11/2008 22:01

in my expereince the real posh people are the least stuck up

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matildax · 10/11/2008 22:07

total idiots, in grave danger of disappearing up their "middle class" arses!!!

if the kids liked it, then that is what is important.
sounds like you put on a great spread chocolatepeanut.

as for your 'friend' i would tell her that you found her comments hurtful, it could be she was just going along with the boss iykwim??
if you like her, and feel she will notice that you are not yourself, then i would say something.

notsoseriousanymore · 10/11/2008 22:07

Absolutely.

and there is a big divide between posh and rich.

QuintessentialShadow · 10/11/2008 22:09

"real" middleclass people would never refer to themselves as middleclass. They are too polite. In fact, they have shown their very "UN-middleclassness" in their behaviour.

TheNewsMonger · 10/11/2008 22:12

True. Poshest bloke I ever knew came into work once saying "look at these shoes I pulled out of a skip? marvellous arent' they?". He was always begging for the other half of your sandwich or forty p towards his own sandwich. He would eat with his mouth open because he knew he was posh and didn't give a shit what any lesser mortal thought of him. It was an eye-openeer.

QuintessentialShadow · 10/11/2008 22:13

The richest man in my town rode his tractor into the bank, with wads of cash to deposit in a "tesco" plastic bag. You never saw a more down to earth and non assuming Billionaire!

Original poster
CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/11/2008 22:13

yes!! i agree

i have some quite posh friends (ha they were at party too-being looked down on)and they are such kind and pleasant folk.One is a barrister and speaks so posh (we laugh as I have a strong lancashire accent)

if i mentioned this to him he would just not get it

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cthea · 10/11/2008 22:14

Ooo, I love bubbaluv's suggestion: just listen, smile and nod "yes, Hyacinth". Don't get worked up about it, being considered something else than middle class is not an insult. I'd have been offended at the pompousness of these two idiots rather than not being thought of as middle class. "Yes, Hyacitnh", now that's something I can see myself telling a few people

Original poster
CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/11/2008 22:15

TheNews i love that tale.I love ecentric posh people.true characters!

they dont give a shite what you are about

think carol thatcher barmey but love her

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ermintrude13 · 10/11/2008 22:16

can i come to the next party? menu sounds perfect x

LittleWhizzingBella · 10/11/2008 22:16

It must be time to tell my favourite manners and Queen Victoria anecdote

"One of Queen Victoria's dinner quests, unfamiliar with formal etiquette, drank the water in his finger bowl. The Queen, to make sure her guest was not dishonored, followed suit and drank from her own bowl as well."

Now that's good manners.

thumbwitch · 10/11/2008 22:17

sad, sad, sad. them, not you. as IF it matters - they obviously felt they didn't "fit in" and decided to manufacture a reason as to why that might be - coming up with this bollix instead of the real one, that they are too high-n-mighty to try and mix in.

Original poster
CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/11/2008 22:17

she went on hol this year with child and did not go where there would be any families on purpose as she could not bear it to be near families

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Original poster
CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/11/2008 22:19

good old queen vic

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