AIBU to want ALL the information in your AIBU opening post and not drip drip/clues/stealth!!!!

[Flibbertyjibbet]

I'm fed up of them.
There was a jokey thread a while back about AIBU by stealth but mumsnet seems to be having a rush on them at the moment.
AIBU yes you are BUT BLAH BLAH BLAH oh well in that case yanbu but you should have told us all in the first place.

I think AIBU threads should be like the classifieds.
With a 'read this before you jump in' bit. Which will list everything you need to consider before posting an AIBU.

Such as:

Full facts
More facts
Any relevant other facts
Any facts that might not seem relevant now but will appear very much so after a couple of responses
Any other facts that are totally irrelevant but might one day be relevant to another totally unrelated AIBU thread.

Grrrrrrrrrrr.

YANBU. Especially as all the extra information only appears if people say YABU.

YANBU, I think people do this when theyre being stoned so that they dont seem so unreasonable.

Its like a defence mechanism

YANBU....unless there's anything else you'd like to add now that we're 5 posts in?

YANBU - I don't think people think it through properly when they post. THEY know what they're talking about, and so get surprised when everybody else doesn't. A little bit of thought, and reading through the post before actually posting it would be good.

VERY annoying, especially when you have to put up with posts from people who haven't read the updated information.

no we need at least 5 YABU's before OP adds the relevant info, it won't work if you all start out with YANBU's...

lol at this thread...
YANBU....however...I suppose it is quite normal to think, after people raised the issue, that ooops, obviously that part is important info....

also, often AIBU threads are more rants and maybe done in the heat of te moment, without a clear thinking head....

YABU - the OPs will be too long for anyone to bother reading them.

Presumably when one starts an AIBU thread, one is hoping for most people to say YANBU.

In which case to maximise the chance of that happening, if it were me, I'd be chucking in anything at all to make whatever it was sound worse/make me sound more saintly.

Hmmm everyone has said YANBU.

What can I reveal (ta-daaaaaa!!) to make you all suddenly say YABU!!

Sometimes I go to start a thread and type it all out thinking that one thing is the problem, and as I type, I realise that the issue is actually something completely different and have to retype. And sometimes I don't realise in the first post and get flamed for being unreasonable ;)

But YANBU to be annoyed!

By Littlefish on Mon 10-Nov-08 15:32:11
"Ok, I will change my position a little! Thank you for your second message which clarifies things - it would have been helpful to have that information in your original post. "

Made me lol. That is code for "Well for goodness sake, if you had said that in the first place I would have agreed with you. Idiot.

I totally agree with you and have been fristrated by a couple of threads doing this today.

I do think though that some people are trying to keep things concise though - I oftne open posts and then shut them again as I can't be arsed to read through lines and line of justification

YANBU (i had a feeling this thread was going to pop up )

OK, so I got told of for this just now. I have been looking for a house for 6 months, the conveyancing process on the house I asked about has been going on for 3, the report on the home I mentioned runs to over 50 pages.

Are you all saying you would really have bothered to read my post if I had given you the full facts?

Sometimes people are just trying to keep things brief.

YABU some of us are new to mumsnet and dont' have much time when doing the OP but feel upset and want help asap and plus we want to feel welcome, for people to go 'okay, you didn't tell us all the info in op but never mind...' instead of starting threads like this and scaring away us newbies

If I have the time I will repost with all the facts and I bet I don't get a single reply because it will be too long for anyone to read.

YANBU, and very well said.

Most things start off BU then as we find out the real story then suddenly not only is it NBU but we're nasty pieces of work for being so unsympathetic at the start.

Though I think half of the 'extenuating circumstances' get hastily fabricated anyway, am I evil for thinking this.

My fave was 'AIBU for letting my son run around and shout in church' which later turned out to be 'AIBU for holding my sons hand in church and gently guiding him past quietly praying people, all the while instructing him in a quiet voice on the meaning that religion holds for some'.

I don't always think it is done on purpose, especially with newbies. I felt very self conscious about doing long threads, but life by its very nature is complicated. And sometimes if you include all the details, one that isn't absolutely relevant gets hijacked and you get three pages of arguments about something the OP didn't really see as more important!

Speaks from experience

Lou013205 - I thought I was being quite subtle!

readytopop - we didn't need the absolutely all the facts, but you could have just combined your first and second posts like this:

Taken from your first post:
DH and I have been looking for a house for ages.

We finally found a great one, put in an offer and had it accepted.

I've just found out that the house next door is a care home housing 8 patients with mental disorders.

I want to back out of the purchase because I am worried that there might be a lot of noise from the neighbours and. particularly, that this will scare our 9 month old son.

Taken from your second post:
I have done quite a bit of research on the home, thank you. It houses patients aged between 18 and 35 who have been recently released from institutions but have mental disorders or psychiatric probs such that they cannot live alone (learning disabilities are specifically excluded from thier remit).

Their most recent report also lists several complaints from neighbours about noise, including screeching and swearing coming from residents.

Personally ready2pop, I don't think that's too long for an opening post, and it gives people enough information to make an informed decision. Starting a thread with only half the information just winds people up a bit (as you've probably realised )

YANBU

Ready2pop your OP could still have been concise....it merely could have said we have put an offer on a house and subsequently we have found out there have been complaints about noise. DH wants to proceed, i dont. AIBU?

lou and littlefish - you should have said this on my post rather than starting a new one having a go at me including calling me an idiot.

Unfair and unecessary.

I found myself on this thread, and you were here too so I just responded to you on here. I responded to you several times on your own thread as well.

We could have a new acronym!

Going by information given so far, you are being unreasonable...

Let's see... GBIGSF, YABU anyone?

aibu to want my little thread to stay lighthearted and not turn into an argument discussion between people who were arguing discussing on some other aibu thread?

Some people take everything sooooooo seriously