Stupid and spineless, perhaps, but I don't think unreasonable. Now not sure how to deal with it...

[TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench]

I live on a small estate with allocated parking spaces for each house, plus visitors bays. I don't have a car, but have an agreement with my landlady that she uses my space. This keeps the cost of my rent down a little.

A friend of mine lives 5 minutes away in the town centre, and parking is a problem for her. She could buy a parking permit, but I guess this would cost a lot of money - not sure how much.

Anyway, a couple of years ago, I told her she could park in one of the visitors bays by my house from time to time if it would help - not permanently. However, since then, she has just left her car there all he time.

This was stupid of me, as there's a clause in my tenancy agreement forbidding this. Also, she has a volatile temper, which I find quite intimidating. She often behaves as though I've done something to offend her, although I don't know what it is. Anecdotally, she's like this with lots of people.

My landlady called me last week to say that the managing agent had received a complaint from one of my neighbours, that I was letting someone park here permanently. I promised her I'd deal with it, and left a couple of messages for friend, which she didn't return until yesterday.

A letter had been left on her windscreen from the managing agent, asking her to call their office to explain herself. She agreed to do this, but then texted me this morning to say she thought she would do so pretending to be me, and saying that I had given her permission to park in exchange for childcare.

I texted back that I really don't want her to do this, that honesty is probably the best policy, that the letter was addressed to her, that they would know she wasn't me, and that my tenancy could be at risk if I start messing them around.

She didn't reply, but I later saw her on the school run, and suggested we talk on the phone later. However, she flounced passed, snarling, and said she was just going to move the car. Car as now mercifully gone.

I know she is furious, and will totally take it out on me. It's a case of shooting the messenger, although I was daft not to have addressed this before. I've had a rough time recently and don't feel strong enough to deal with this womans anger. She'll be here later as I'm having her DD after school. What can I do or say?

tell her that if she continues to behave so rudely you won't have her DD after school. This lady sounds like a spoilt brat, not a real friend.

Pass the blame onto your landlady saying she has insisted the parking stop or you will be evicted.

just say to her that if she continues to park in visitrs bay that she will end up having a ticket or car clamped by your landlord

it is out of your hands and tbh your friend doesnt sound much of a friend to me - she is taking the piss and i would stay clear from her

Just say it's not your fault. These things happen. But at least you could do her the favour of letting her leave her car there for as long as she has. It's not her right.

If she starts getting funny, just say could she please not take it out on you as you have no control over the situation.

She sounds like a real cow. Not such a loss if the friendship comes to an end eh?

Tell her that you are sorry but it is out of your control. If she even so much as pulls a face just cease all contact with her. she is bullying you, I certainly wouldn't be entertaining the child of someone who behaved like this to me.

sympathy with you as I wouldn't like dealing with someone like that (esp as know you're not having the best of times at the minute) but sounds like she is taking the piss - and as total says if all else fails say won't have dd/

I know it's none of my business but why are you friends with this woman? From what you have said you seem afraid of her - doesn't sound like a good basis for a friendship. I would try and stay as far as away as possible from her.

You sound like ypu've had a rough time - hope this gets sorted

Agree with everyone else so far - it's not your fault. If she doesn't understand this then I'd just stop contacting her. If she values you as a friend then it's up to her to behave like one!

Sounds like she wants everything for nothing!

Does she pay you for childcare or is it done as a favour, cos if it is favour then she is really taking the p*ss...

She is a really difficult person to deal with, hot and cold, easily offended and very angry. She can be horribly nasty about other people (so presumably about me too). I can't stand up to her, she just scares the heck out of me.

Problem is, our daughter's are friends and in the same class, so I have to see her every day. She asked me to have her dd today as her other childcare person is ill, and I don't mind at all, but just dreading her turning up to collect her.

she sounds childish. drop her, you don't need people like that in your life.

If she is rude to you, just explain that it was totally out of your control, that you'd been warned about eviction and you being homeless is far worse than her car parking space.
She sounds awful, I would hope that she is isn't rude to you as you have done her (another!) favour by looking after her DD.

Oh and she's done me quite a few favours childcare-wise as well - which has been invaluable as I'm full time working single parent and do get stuck from time to time. Doesn't give her licence to be so difficult though, I know.

Tell your landlady and the managing agent that you have told this woman not to park there any more, and made it clear to her that she does not have permission. After that, it is their job to deal with her if she keeps on parking there, just as it would be if anyone else just decided to park there without any right.

You could also tell them that you think that she might phone pretending to be you, but that you have no control over what she does.

brace yourself.. pull your boots up as high as they go.. and when you see her next in the playground.. Tell her loudly in the playground.. Thank you for not parking in the visitors space at mine.. as it was causing a huge issue with my tenancy agreement. smile.. and walk on.

people r4eally aren't that scary. .. and you'll be saying it in a public space, so if she has a go.. she'll be the one who shows herself up!

You told her she could park there from time to time. She has taken advantage of you.

Agree with piratecat. you just don't need someone like that in your life. she sounds like she has a major attitude problem. i would defo cool the friendship.

oh.. I would call the agent that you have asked her to stop parking there and suggest they might like to clamp the car if she doesn't get the message.. as any phone calls/ letters are nothing to do with you.

Message withdrawn

TBH she doesnt sound much of a friend really - happy for you to get in trouble with your landlord and wants to phone them up pretending to be you, and tell them that you have come to an 'agreement' re the parking. This could get you into worse trouble as it could be seen as subletting the parking space!

Agree with others who say that you need to tell her that she is getting you into bother with the landlord, and that whatever he does - its out of your hands.

You need to tell the landlord that she is ignoring your requests not to park there, and that she might ring up pretending to be you. Tell the landlord that he will need to take whatever action he wants, directly at her and her car, as since you've asked her not to park there, its out of your hands.

Friends should ADD VALUE to your life and make you feel good about yourself.

Why don't you ring the Council and find out how much a parking permit would be for someone in her street? You might be surprised to see how tight she's being.

ask her straight out why she is angry at YOU? You have saved her money over the time she's been parking there and you have not been the one to end the arrnagement.

If you haven't got the courage to stand up to her, why don't you try to defuse the situation. When she comes why don't you just pre-empt with a "Thank God you moved the car in time, I was so scared I was going to get evicted. The landlord was so furious. Thank you so much." A few sniffles wouldn't go astray.

Seriously, what is she going to say to something like that? It's being just as manipulative as she is being, just in a way that you could handle.

Thanks for all the good advice. You are all absolutely right (as usual ).

And I really need to grow some balls.

I am actually a managing agent for a car park that serves some flats and the issue of car parking can become a nightmare.

Tell her the terms of your lease do not allow her to park in the space (unless she is actually visiting you) and that if it continues the managing agents have said they may clamp/tow her car.

That way you are giving her a 'heads up'