to be annoyed at ex mil at changing her name from granny to grandma overnight

[iLoveIceCream]

Cutting long story short, I gave them all the choice when I had ds of grandparent names my mum and dad are grandma and grandad and exp's were granny and grandad which was fine, their decision.

However, one of my ds's first words was grandma (or mamar lol) and since then I've noticed her referring to herself as his grandma!

I'm confused should she be allowed to just change her name as she pleases, my ds is 2 in a month and all his baby books, photo albums refer to her as granny as thats what she wanted to be!

AIB really petty that this annoys me? I obviously know it makes no difference in the long term but still............

Yes, I'm afraid you are being unreasonable! You just don't like her much, do you?

YABU, sorry.

YABU - are there other issues here?

Just carry on refering to her as granny
she's probably forgotten and isn't aware of doing anything differently

Does it really matter?

Really?

why would you think I didnt like her nothing in my post suggests that I don't. I'm actually very close to her and would never actually say anything about it to her

Eh? I called my grandmother granny, grandma, grandmother... it's all the same.

I can see why it annoys you exmil does this too. It annoyed me at first but I have noticed that she was actually reacting to what ds could say at the time and what he was calling her himself both of mine have run through at one time or another every grandparent name they have encountered and tried them out on th gp's.
Although it could just be that she is a bit jealous that he can say your mothers title and she wants it so look like he is using her name

obviously they mean the same but they aren't the same name, he distinguishes between them through their names. Just forget I posted I didnt come on to be attacked

Hmmm, I also thought this was about you not liking her.

It's just that the reason you gave for asking whether YABU is such a small reason people might get the wrong end of the stick and think that this was just a smokescreen for a larger issue.

Then again, perhaps some people really do care about small things like this.

I'm with you OP. It's confusing for the grandchild to have to say Grandma Margaret or Grandma Beatrice. you know?

If frm day one she took the label Granny and you're all used to that, and there is already a grandma! then that's like announcing, from tomorrow call me [whatever granddaughter's name is]

well, if it was me, i would think she had changed because ds could say it, BUT my mil drives me crazy and thats something she'd do lol.

LOL, your not being attacked - you asked a question and we answered.

my main concern was causing confusion for my son, I don't understand why that must mean I hate my ex mil. Im closer to her than I am my exp. I'm in no way slagging her off I just wondered if this is a normal thing

i was being attacked by the way you all made assumptions about what I meant, It is annoying when I'll have to explain to him later on why all his pictures say me and granny when he doesnt call her that

ILIC, I know how you feel about the distinguishing names. My mil refers to herself as grandma, but I refer to her as granny so my dd knows who I am talking about. This is particular important when neither are present. You could call her Grandma Barbara (or whatever) and your mum Grandma / Grandma Freda.

Gparents seem to have their own ideas about what they want to be called. My Gmothers were Nanny So-and-So but my mother and MIL didn't want to be called nanny.

Anyway, FIL has decided to call himself Papa, which I detest and I feel like a pillock saying it. But I asked on here ages ago and was told to butt out! So Papa he is. Bleurgh. Just let her get on with it.

It sounds like she was referring to herself as your DS's grandma, rather than insisting on changing her title.
I take it she doesn't correct you or your DS when you say "granny"?
It's easy to get bothered by things, but it sounds like there's nothing pernicious going on, and children are often quite skilled in working adults' oddities out themselves.

(FWIW, my mum was most put out when MIL claimed "Granny" first, although she "got there first" in many important ways. Tiny Clanger has a Granny and a Granny Rosie now.)

lol well if u ask me its becoming an issue where mums are expected to just let everyone else do what the eff they want and u just have to keep quiet and keep the peace

Maybe she is just responding to him saying grandma, and thinking she is helping him

tbh, it wouldn't bother me at all

the baby book thing really won't matter

i'd just let it ride

he calls her granny now since his talking has improved. argh i dont care anymore I have way bigger problems lol

at x posts

but really this is a little thing

its not like she is driving him around without a carseat and making him smoke

and then giving him fruitshoots and sausage rolls

I wouldn't worry too much, both mil and sm were nan and my dc's were fine.