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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to go to the police about this man ( dh says dont bother)

31 replies

vis · 07/11/2008 21:40

Ok i have just got back from journey from hell....

I was pulling onto a roundabout just having come off motorway.
The car behind me started tooting horn and revving engine- I assume since it was taking me some time to find a gap in order to get onto the roundabout.

Once on the roundabout I came off the first exit, so did this driver who then immediately took over and once in front of me flipped a finger etc.

But then (another car had taken over and pulled in between us by then) he pulled in suddenly onto the side of the road. I just new something wasn?t right so I immedialtly pulled din and put my hazards on. There we sat- he was at least 20 meters ahead. After a minute he carried on driving.

I thought that was it however after driving for another 100m I passed a petrol station only to see him sitting at the exit snarling ? he immediately pulled out behind me ? took over, pulled in front and took off his seatbelt.

I was so scared- the fact he had stopped again at the garage and looked so damm scary. Anyway I just panicked and called 999. but then thought they wouldn?t get to me that quick so I just threw the phone down and did a u turn and drove the other way. I saw in my rear view mirror he got back in his car.

Well I then talked to 999 who said it was not an emergency now and gave me anoher number to call- I called this number and they said that they wouldn?t log it and that I could go to my local police station and make a statement but he thought the crown prosecution service would not press charges and nothing would come of this statement etc.

I know that the garage would have an image of him driving in and straight out. I think this guy is a loose canon to behave elike this just because I was a little slow to get onto the roundabout. I did panic since I had my boy in the back seat but I think most people would react like me ????.soooo I think I should make a statement. My dh thinks leave it ?..what do you think?

OP posts:

onebatmother · 07/11/2008 21:51

Oh God, you poor thing, that sounds absolutely terrifying.

You behaved very sensibly I think, under great pressure.

Re: the police - I'm not sure they would even bother to visit him (assuming you have the numberplate). Sadly.

It seems like such a HUGE over-reaction though - is it possible that you have inadvertently cut him up, or something, before you got to the roundabout? I'm certainly not blaming you - whatever you might have done could not
possibly justify this behaviour - but it might be a bit less scary if it were a bit less random.

Sorry you've had this horrid experience.

hambo · 07/11/2008 21:53

That sounds so scary. I think you should report it. He sounds like a freaky angry man - maybe he will have a record, and if not, a file will be created and if he does something similar again, or worse, your report will be there.

(I think)

Milliways · 07/11/2008 21:53

I would leave it as the police will do nothing, and it has to be v.serious to get them to view CCTV footage.

I do feel for you though. Years ago a car took offence when DH overtook him. He kept overtaking then slowing down to 10mph. If you tried to overtake he sped up. Occassionally let you past then started same game. If we stopped he stopped, even followed us 4 times around 1 roundabout!

Eventually we led him to the local cop shop, parked , and when he saw where we were he sped off

Scary though. Some people shouldn't have cars.

Original poster

vis · 07/11/2008 22:00

I have searched for something I did - since would really liked there to have been more of a reason for him to loose it.

Take your point Milliways- why should they put the effort in to look at CCtv ....BUT if you are looking a prevention this would be a good start since I dont think it woudl take much for htis guy to get into trouble

One of my main concerns is that it wouldnt have taken him much to get my number plate down and well i dont know what he would do with that..i am not sure he is that crazy but at least i would have gone to the police?? is that logical?

OP posts:

PillockOfTheCommunity · 07/11/2008 22:06

I don't think the CCTV would help a case against him anyway tbh, I frequently drive into a garage then change my mind for random reasons and drive straight out again!

HeliumBee · 07/11/2008 22:07

I had something very similar happen to me but with a motorcyclist. I slowed down as much as possible (but also ensuring I maintained some speed). held my horn down permanenntly to draw as much attnetion to myself as possilble (witnesses??!!). I did call the police and they logged it for me and said they would let me know if anyone else called in about it.
I would advise you to call the police. Could you provide even a hazy description?
Because you are only one person you never know if this is part of a pattern or a clue in another incident. (OK I know I sound a bit detective novel-esque - but what if there was a crash caused by this person doing the same thing a little later in the day to someone else....??)
Report it - it will give you peace of mind.

bongosmum · 07/11/2008 22:11

did i read your post correctly - he pulled over and you did too?

did you get his reg? description of the car, driver etc?

llareggub · 07/11/2008 22:14

I think it is appalling that the police will not do anything about threatening behaviour. YANBU at all.

Our car was burgled recently and the police didn't even bother to take fingerprints, despite it being the latest in a long line of burglaries in our street. It seems that the only point of reporting is to get a crime reference number to claim off the insurance.

I think you should report it and insist that it is logged. If he loses it completely with the next person, at least there'll be a prior history logged. It isn't up to the police to decide whether the CPS will take action, it is up to the CPS.

Original poster

vis · 07/11/2008 22:15

bongosmum
th first time he pulled over- and since i didnt want to pass him or have him behind me again - i pulled in the moment i saw him stop- so yes i pulled in to.

the second time he pulled in and stopped in front of me- hence i had to stop.

yes i knwo what he looks like , know the make of the car and have his number plate. I aint going to forget that face for a while.

OP posts:

herbietea · 07/11/2008 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

vis · 07/11/2008 22:28

wow herbietea that does sound horrible ....in a way if I hadnt done a u turn and driven off I think there could have been a similar outcome and more " evidence " for this guy to be caught BUT i think I would drive away if this happened again...

OP posts:

LoveBeingAMummy · 07/11/2008 22:29

PLease report it.

Firstly he has made you feel threatened and you will feel better for ahving done something about it, even if the police do nothing.

Secondy, as others ahve said he may well ahve a history of doing this and needs to understand its not acceptable.

Lizzylou · 07/11/2008 22:36

Vis, that sounds terrible
When I was 12 weeks pg with DS2, with DS1 (then about 18mths) in the back, DH didn't move over quickly enough on a dual carriageway when one of those "Ute" 4x4 Truck thingies was flashing him. At the island, the huge truck (withe wife and kids inside) actually swerved into us, on purpose, in order to intimidate and/or hit us, the side DS1 was sitting. I was hysterical. We didn't take number, but I wish we had. All because he wanted to keep going at 90mph.
Report Report Report
The next person may not have your presence of mind

Original poster

vis · 07/11/2008 22:38

My local police station is closed on the weekend- i am going to go into town and report it on Sat.

OP posts:

Tryharder · 07/11/2008 22:39

There are some drivers (men usually, sorry to say) who have serious anger issues and who are a danger not only to themselves but to other drivers. I agree - you should report it - this man needs to be stopped before he goes too far and kills someone because he cannot control his temper.

I speak because a close friend of mine was forced off the road by another driver, who then got out of his car and started hammering at the window, effing and jeffing, making threats etc. Her crime? I honestly cant remember, something like she was driving too slowly and he had to brake...

The sad thing was, she had a newborn baby strapped in the back. The even sadder thing was that he had his wife in the car with him who witnessed this and did nothing.

bongosmum · 07/11/2008 22:41

i think you should go to the police - i don't know what they could do, but, they may be able to link it to something else or keep it on file.

i had an episode that went on for over a year of somebody sounding their horn when they went passed our house most saturday mornings around 5.00am - 7am. the police could do nothing. all i could identify was the horn!! i set the alarm etc to catch them at it - but always got pissed off and went back to bed 'the phantom pamper' did get his just desserts eventually though as one day i was in the garden and recognised the horn as he drove passed in his ancient volvo estate. i called the police, they went to see him and he 'confessed'!
i know that may seem trivial, but,i used to get totally paranoid about it - waking up and lying in bed just waiting for it to happen...while typing this, i realise how daft it sounds!!

DesperateHousewifeToo · 07/11/2008 23:02

Write down everything that happened whilst it is fresh in your mind - including the number plate and description of the car and driver.

Report it. Even if the police do not take it further, at least they might pay him a visit.

If he has 'form', it might help with other incidents.

Hope you are ok.

Mumi · 08/11/2008 00:20

YANBU. Like I always say - they definitely can't do anything if you don't tell them!

Original poster

vis · 08/11/2008 09:04

thanks all. just getting ready for town. your words have made be confident that i am not being "stupid" about going to police. Infact got two missed calls at 5am- from unknown mobile- my mind already racing - I can't believe how much this has effected me...anyway no more to be said sice i did get off lightly.

OP posts:

ScaredOfEverything · 08/11/2008 09:39

I would call teh local police number. I had something similar recently - I accidentally cut someone up and when I stopped at the lights he got out of his car and banged on my window!

I called the localpolice no at home and left a statement. They got in touch and called the guy who absolutely cr*pped himself as apparently if he had got a fine for that he would have had to tell his employer. In the end I didnt push ahead, I just wanted him scared, which I managed.

I was really impressed with the police though, they took it very seriously.

Watchtheworldcomealivetonight · 08/11/2008 09:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onthewarpath · 08/11/2008 09:58

If you have number plate, or car description I would. They might not be able to do "much" about it but maybe just give him a litle visit to make him aware that people are taking steps against this type of behaviour.
It must have been a horrible experience for you.

Pheebe · 08/11/2008 10:21

The police can't do anything, without independent witnesses I'm afraid it would be your word against his. You should still be able to register a complaint though if you have his registration number.

Your mistake was to stop. NEVER NEVER stop unless you've actually had a collision. Best thing to do is ignore, no eye contact and continue with your journey. They usually get bored.

I have this handy flip wallet with a card inside it - its a colourful business card - but have found in the past that when driving in the city, flipping that open and holding it up usually shuts them up - they seem to think its a warrant card hehehe

mawbroon · 08/11/2008 10:33

I agree with those who say that the police probably won't do anything, but I would report it all the same.

Who knows, it could be a piece of a bigger picture.

Better the police have irrelevant info than missing a vital clue IYSWIM.

Original poster

vis · 08/11/2008 16:06

Thanks all again- yes pheebe- on reflection after he stopped the first time I should have actually changed direction and avoided the area he was driving in. i think i just stopped to ensure he didnt get behind me.

I have actually just come back from town police station. It took 1 hr20min from me going to the front desk to my statement being printed off to sign. They are yet to call me with the 'log?crime' number and said if they can trace diver ( the liscence plate number i gave matched the description of the car) they may pay him a visit.

I will update in due course.

Thanks for all your support-sympathy and understanding again I know things could have been far worse.

OP posts:

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