To be fed with Dp and his attitude to illness?

[kittywise]

I understand and sadly accept the concept of man flu like the rest of us beleaguered women.

Now for the last week or so we have had the normal round of colds, there are a lot of us so it takes a long time to work its way through.

I am under the cosh atm, have no one to help in the house and am frantically searching for new au pair/mother's help, so exhausted and run down.

I have had said cold and because I'm very tired and overworked can't shift it. ( everyone else has of course) It has gone to my sinuses now and I'm in considerable pain, snot continues to pour out, hacking cough, tight chest etc etc. On top of this I have a D&V bug, lovely, but I soldier on because like most women I've got no bloody choice.

I have 2 gripes.

I said to (d) p this afternoon " I now have awful sinus pain on top of the D&V"

Complete silence from him, he continues being very interested in the news on the radio.

I wait a couple of mins for some sort of response and say "did you actually hear what I just said to you?'

He turns radio off dramatic fashion" yes I did, I don't know what to say"

"Oh: I say how about:
"oh you poor thing that's rough on you"
"can you take anything for it?"
"hope it doesn't last long, you really are in the wars"
"can I get you a drink?"
"If you are not better on monday go to the drs amongst" other helpful suggestions.

He says nothing at all and I leave the room.

Late after school run he says " you know ds1 had that trouble with his chest whilst running in the school cross country? Well I've just tried to go for a run and couldn't breathe properly. Me and ds1 have got the same bug.

Is this normal behaviour?
Do most men completely ignore the fact that their partner is ill? Why is everyone else allowed to be ill but me?

What REALLY PISSES ME OFF is the complete lack of acknowledgment that I might quite be ill.

Please tell me I'm not alone in this, please

poor you kittywise. hope you get a chance to rest sdoon. Yes normal behaviour for many men unfortunately.

Go to bed AND STAY THERE, refuse point blank to get up, you are ill, let DP and the kids fend for themselves, DO NOT GET OUT FROM UNDER THE COVERS.

Eventually they might realise you really are ill.

No you are not alone. I've had the 'didn't know what to say' response too. I also had recently:
me: I really don't feel well at all
DP: [silence]
me: did you hear me?
DP: yes I did hear you

.... and that was it.

Sorry you're so poorly, hope you feel better soon. Can you take to your bed and make it seem even worse than it is?

Thanks ladies, how on earth can a grown man not know what to say? More like can't be arsed to say anything

I agree with Shoshe. They can fend for themselves. Oh, and get yourself down the doc Monday if the sinuses haven't cleared. They could be infected and you might need antibiotics.

Sorry your DP isn't very supportive. Grr..

Why don't you go to bed and be sick (or worse) on his side of the bed. Then he'll know you're ill! Only joking, he'd ignore it until you cleared it up. Would find excuses to watch telly all night to avoid looking like he'd seen it. I know they do that don't they.

effing man flu.

Mine could stub a toe and want a hot drink brought to him in bed.

Not alone. I had the d&v thing a couple of weeks ago on top of a stinking cold and being pregnant. I had to soldier on.
A couple of days later DH spent the day in bed because he thought he was going down with it. He never had either D or V.

I really hope you feel better and do see the doc about your sinuses. Theyre agony and can lead to worse things if not treated.
Take care.

I agree with the others...have a nice bath (lock the door) and go to bed, Kittywise. Now. Take a hot drink as it sounds unlikley one will be forthcoming otherwise...

Make a calm announcement to your boys and DH that you're having an early night as you feeling really unwell and would appreciate if they could not disturb you.

Repeat all weekend if necessary/you feel like it.

They will manage fine without you and may even see the light...

bronze, I remember having d&v in last pg. I was standing in the kitchen and ended up vomiting all over my then 1 year old as I couldn't make it to the sink .

She thought it was great though, sick it turns out, was great to roll around it whilst shrieking with laughter.

yes flirty, the boys and possibly dc3 (6) will be ok not so sure about the youngest three, othewise I certainly would bugger off!

LOL at kittywise!! Great image (not that nice in reality tho)

Thanks for that Kitty. It went nicely with the nausea

actually I laughed, the barfing had also caused me to wet myself! What else could I do but laugh!

My three eldest tucked me up n bed and broght me food and drink.

I've been snorting sudafed.
(D)p has ignored any comment I've made about the state of my health. Just wait!

Oh god we are having ever so subtle war of injuries in our house, I have a broken foot that isn't healed and probably needs an op and he has puncture wound to leg that needs dressing twice a week for probably next two weeks. So discussing how soon I would have my op (with work private healthcare) I say as soon as possible and he says well we will have to fit it around my visits to the nurse to have my dressing changed. I bit my tongue.

Men are hideous with any injury/illness and I don't know why. It's pathetic and pisses me off no end.

YANBU and Ihope you feel better soon!

Kittywise, I did this gallant soldiering on for about a month - until one night I was hallucinating and had a raging fever. I had no cough at that stage just really bad chest pain, and real difficulty breathing, I was so bad I rewrote my will..

Well I went to the GP as my DD had a hacking cough and when there the Gp wanted to listen to my chest as she thought I was wheezing a bit and it turned out I had double pneumonia, my lungs were full of fluid.

I had double pneumonia for three exhausting months after that and it was very hard to shift it. I was on 4 different kinds of antibiotics and steroids, with sputum samples off to the lab every week and chest Xrays in the hospital. and am now on inhalers for adult onset asthma, because of post infection inflammation.

basically what I'm trying to say is GO TO THE GP asap.

I know that it's nice if the other half is kind and understanding but I honestly think they don't WANT to hear you're sick. When my GP told me sternly to "Go Home and Straight To bed, as you have pneumonia" my DH said that one of his mates had rung and he had planned a bevvy!!

I practically had to wheezily shout at him - "you cannot go, what part of double pneumonia don't you understand"!

He then was really was surprised that I was ill. [doh!]

Anyway, enough twittering on... I think YANBU and that you should leave all kids with DH when you go for your Gp's appointment.

I hope you are OK.
Men can be such arses at times. But that's no excuse for not going to the GP yourself and getting rid of the infection, before it turns nasty

My DP is always ill if I am.

I'll be streaming and he also can feel a cold coming on.

I'll have the squits and he'll suddenly develop a tummy ache.

I was once rubbing my tummy with a pained look on my face and he started to claim to feel ill too. It was period pain.

Am liking this too.

They just dont realize you are ill when you soldier on. Everytime I soldier on, dh will also just continue as usual. But, if I go to bed, he will actually take over with the house and the kids. Maybe not to my standards, but I will have to let that pass.

You have to stop soldiering on and get yerself to bed woman!!!

It's not just you. I spent 5 hours in A & E last night with a v. scary migraine (never had one before, hence A & E, didn't know what it was)

Had to get parents round to sit with DD/ take me to hospital as DH at theatre so couldn't phone him.

Eventually turned up for the last hour and half and hasn't said a word about it, no 'how are you feeling,' 'what happened', glad it's probably only a migraine' - not a sausage.

And he's still in bed asleep while I'm up with LO!

God Molly that's really awful behaviour. Are you going to say anything to him?

zazen a similar thing happened to me when in early pg with dc3. I got really bad flu followed by pneumonia. It was weeks before I took to my bed and then simply because I couldn't move. Raging temp for 3 weeks. shakes, sweats etc.

Even with a temp of over 39 i remember lying on the sofa barely able to speak and being asked what i was cooking for dinner, being woken up to change dc2's nappy

I am feeling better today, sinus pressure gone thank GOD.

All dh said this morning was "are you cured yet?"