To be quite offended by the secretary at school

[Fllightthebluetouchpaper]

...who yesterday sought me out in the playground, and in front of everyone said very loudly, 'The name on your utility bill was wrong'.

I said 'Sorry?' and she said, 'Instead of Ms F M [surname] it says Ms M [surname].

what would you like to do?'

I said 'My middle initial is M. thay have just missed off the F. I'll find another bill'.

She said 'Well it's not really a bill anyway is it?' and I said, 'No, I'm afraid I don't have any bills as we pay by direct debit, I thought a lot of people did' (by this time really, really embarrassed and blushing - everyone can hear her)

and she marches off back indoors, turning to shout over her shoulder, as a parting shot,

'Well, you're here now...'

I think she was trying to imply that I had falsified my address, when in fact the place was offered to me at my old address anyway, which is nearer the school, and I could have let them think I still lived there if I had thought it was necessary to fulfil their criteria - as it was, the place came up mid term and we were asked to fill it.

I can't believe her attitude and was so, so embarrassed. Like it isn't hard enough to fit in
It's only our first week...

(I followed her in and offered her my driving license as proof, which she took and scrutinised saying 'Have we had this?' and I said no, I was asked for his birth certificate and a proof of address' and she said 'It has to be a utility bill' and I said I would see what I could find.

AIBU - I was actually really upset about it and went home feeling very persona non grata there.

I mean, being shouted down for the typography of some cleric at Southern Water just amkes me quite angry really.

Like she's never had her name misspelt. I have about a hundred of these statements and only chose that one because it had less crumbs/ spilt tea on it

Shocking behaviour.
Complain to the head, or whoever can bollock her best.

Sounds like she thinks she runs the place - has she been there a long time?

Definitely complain, it's V V unprofessional for her to have done this, stupid woman.
We've got one of those secretaries at DD's school aswell, thinks she's runs the place single handed and would think nothing of doing the same. I have been shouted across hall/playground before aswell. Annoyingly as Mrs xdp's surname, they know what my name is, she does it on purpose I'm sure.

Give her your CTAX statement and a letter to the Head complaining about her unprofessionalism - or e-mail the Head.

rude cow.

Thanks, I thought I'd get told I was imagining it again

I do imagine awful things when ds tells me something about school but usually it is a mistake, and this happened to me, so I know she was being an arse

I don't know about complaining - not worth it really - but today if she starts off again I will pull her up sharpish. I might just say 'What are you trying to imply?'

I don't know how long she's been there...she seems pretty miserable.

Glad it wasn't me being an oversensitive nutter!

Compain. She had no right to talk to you that way.
She gives school secretaries a bad name!

What do I say though?

I'm afraid I'll sound a bit 'tell tale' iyswim.

Secretary at our school is same, maybe a tad worse? she stands at the door like a guard dog ( I call her the rottweiller) and demands to know why you're there and what you want, like a personal body guard for the head. And she speaks to you like you're shite, UNTIL you complain or give it back then your her bessie mate almost.
Sounds like someone needs putting in their place

Absolutely definately complain, in writing, to the head.
Outline what she said, how she mistook the addition of the initial for a wrong name (shows her to be incompetent) and show she then shouted at you in the playground in front of all the other parents implying you had falsified your papers.
Explain how that has made you feel adn ask why she is allowed to behave like that.
Then calmly state you would like an explanation for her behaviour and an apology from her.

Straight to the head, calmly.

Thanks - that sounds Ok. at risk of further disingratiating myself with her as well...my friend told me the head hates anyone too educated and sensible, gahhhh

Why do schools hate me so much? This sort of things seems to happen a fair bit so far.

"the head hates anyone too educated and sensible"

I'm lost for words.

Put it this Flight.

One of my lab technicians was quite rude to one of our service engineers.
I took to one side and told him that it was unacceptable and he apologised to the service engineer.
I don't see the difference. Essentially you a customer and should be treated as such.

the secretary at my sons old school was a nightmare, she would walk around as if she owned the school and be very rude as well. I can only say that karma is brill and she will get her comupence. I placed a formal complaint against our secretary as she was very rude about my sons behaviour (he was being assessed for autism at time) and she blatently accussed me of abusing him causing his behaviour and also talked about my son to other parent infront of me saying i caused his behaviour and there was nothing wrong with him. Well at a recent PTA evening my friend was brilliant and dropped into conversation how DS now has diagnosis and is at a very posh private special school and how its much better now he is with peeople who understand him and how certain people should be ashamed of themselves for how they treated him! Apparently her face was a picture....just a shame i couldnt see it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I mean put it like this!

my stepmother is a school secretary..she used to revel in doing things like this to people and tell all and sundry for weeks

vile vile vile

yanbu

Gawd. Some of these stories are really shocking.

I didn't realise there were so many grudging secretaries with complexes!

Bonkerz I'd have loved to see her face as well.

I think the fact they don't know me yet, coupled with what they may have been told by ds's last school (who actually behaved very disingenuously regarding his attendance - we asked for authorised absence over the summer, they agreed, then registered him as being 'ill' which was just wrong, then panicked when the LEA had to be told, and chucked us out) has made them think they can get away with dissing me. Some of them are lovely but some are Not.

It's a very small school and everyone knows each other and socialises together etc, it's a bit wicker man really.

Yes Callisto - my friend is a university professor and told me to do 'Dim and appeasing' when I had my interveiw with the head. Head doesn't like her at all.

Head's very first question to me about ds, at our interveiw, was not 'How is he feeling about starting school here?' or 'What does he like best at school?'

but
'what can he do?' in terms of reading and writing. I thought that was shit really.

School secretaries & doctors receptionists seem to be cut from the same cloth

Despots, the lot of 'em

Yours sounds particularly gruesome though

I don't know where these people come from, but they ARE like that aren't they. I used to be a veterinary receptionist and i do have to come to the defense of receptionists in vets and doctors, very often the reason you have to be dead or dying to get an appointment is because you will have the vet/doctor standing behind you making throat cutting gestures while you are on the phone, by this, you know you will get it in the neck for making an extra appointment when they want to get off to the golf course. Part of the reason i left my old job was because i got pissed off with having to tell people, who were often quite upset that, no actually they couldn't see the vet. OF course they blame me!! And when i did manage to cajole the vet to see them, or should i say, fecking BEG the vet to see them, they would come in and treat me like I was the harriden who wouldnt budge on appointments and simper after the vets every word!! I used to work on a Saturday morning and was told to refuse all appointments unless the animal was at deaths door! Then THEN one of the partners, in his infinate wisdom, decided that they weren't making enough money on a Saturday morning so we were to make routine appointments - can't fecking win!

Yes we have one of those, I think it must be essential to the job description.

Yes we have one of those, I think it must be essential to the job description.

Mad cream lady I am liking your name.

Having eaten four cream cakes yesterday I think I know why. Oh yes.

I can kind of see it from the other side now!

I took in the bill today and got the nice one instead, who was very apologetic that I'd had to bother - not sure what was said between them but I didn't mention it.

I think maybe I will just take the 'morally superior and not a clue you were trying to wind me up, were you really?' type of stance on this. I will be all blithe and ingenue, and smile wonderfully at her next time we meet. She will hate it

Flight - the head must be very insecure (not to mention immature) to be jealous and threatened by your university prof friend. Doesn't sound like she is the ideal person to inspire youngsters to me.

No, I agree. I haven't had a proper amount of time to get to know her personally or what she is like, so I just hope she isn't much to do with the everyday stuff - his class teacher seems lovely.

I've no idea what more I can do about that.

Tbh I've encountered a lot of teachers and other people who work in schools who have been lovely, and a lot more who have been utter controlling so and so's who won't smile at you and seem to think they are sooo important. It makes me really sad. Like perhaps they just want to work around children so that they can feel superior? I dont knwo.