Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really upset that DD coat went missing at school?

55 replies

memoo · 06/11/2008 16:19

Picked DD (age 9) up from school and she had no coat. I asked her where it was and she said she couldn't find it.

I went back into school and asked her teacher if she knew where it was and she just said "no sorry" with a couldn't care less attitude.

So I myself searched everywhere, classroom, playground etc. Couldn't find it. So now DD has no coat!

I feel really cross and upset that her coat has just gone like that. I know DD has to look after her own coat to a certain extent but surely the school also has a duty to ensure people don't take somebody elses coat at hometime.

I can't believe how much it has upset me, had to stop myself getting upset at school. I can't afford to fork out another £30 for new one.

And now DD has no coat to wear to school tomorrow

OP posts:
LIZS · 06/11/2008 16:22

yabu . It will probably show up tomorrow , someone may well have taken it in error or picked it up and put it on a different peg. Ask the teacher to get her class to check theirs tomorrow.

ramonaquimby · 06/11/2008 16:39

sorry about coat
but how exactly would school ensure people didn't take others's coats home? check each kid as they leave? (impractical) maybe in reception, but at 9?

mm22bys · 06/11/2008 16:51

YABU. It will turn up. DS1 often gets others' belongings, and things have gone "missing" only to turn up the next day or even a few days later.

It must be at the school, or maybe another child had a similar coat and picked up your dd's in error. Hopefully that other parent will be honest enough to return it, if that happened, it's really out of the school's (and yours :-() hands...

MadreInglese · 06/11/2008 16:54

It's a pita but someone may have taken it home by mistake and will bring it back tomorrow

If it doesn't turn up DD (10.5) has just outgrown a couple of coats, you're welcome to them if it'll help (just CAT me)

Original poster
memoo · 07/11/2008 16:27

Well it didn't turn up, I blooming knew it wouldn't. This is a constant problem at DD school. Things just disappear and don't come back.

Of course no one can start pointing fingers but basically things get stolen. Kids may well take thing home by accident but the bloody parents don't send them back again. It has happened with a couple of jumpers before now but I'm gutted that her coat has gone.

I work in the school too so have to be careful what I say but I'm so fed-up. Myself and the caretaker searched every little bit of the school and grounds but its definately gone.

We really struggle for money, I always save up to make sure DC have nice things to wear for school. Nothing fancy but just so they look smart. I know some people are even worse off but it doesn't give anyone the right to just take it.

OP posts:
needmorecoffee · 07/11/2008 16:30

did it have her name in?
yanbu to be cross but I'm guessing teachers and staff have enough to think about. If its been stolen thats a horrible feeling.

Fllightthebluetouchpaper · 07/11/2008 16:31

Was it named? Do they have a lost property bin?

Have you seen another child wearing it?

It must be really upsetting. I'd be fed up too. x

muppetgirl · 07/11/2008 16:31

Ds 1's coat disappeared last week and came back with another child's name written in black pen on it. Then I saw his hood had been ripped off and then yesterday his pouch that holds the hood has been ripped also and the zip is hanging off. His coat costs £35 and can only be bought through the school outfitters. I am and will not be buying the same coat again as if they all have the same coats mistakes can be made.
He's in reception.

Fllightthebluetouchpaper · 07/11/2008 16:36

Muppetgirl that's terrible, I am wondering how you could tell it was his coat though? It must be really confusing if they are all the same!

muppetgirl · 07/11/2008 16:40

It has his name as a loop...
the other child had one from the second hand shop that her mum hadn't cut out the old name so the girl just picked one she saw and put her own name in it.

bumbling · 07/11/2008 16:41

Know exaclty how you feel. DS is 3.6 and his trousers got swapped this week. He came home in filthy, muddy jeans that were way too big or him and I've lost a decent pair of new mothercare jeans that cost £12. We're broke at the mo and I'm infuriated. Teachers are lovely and I know they have tons to do but they all leave clothes in tidy piles when they have PE and someone must have been squished into his trousers while his were falling down. I genuinely woke up in the night cross about it, sad but true. Not sure if you are or aren't being unreasonable but whatever the answer, then that defines me too!

ComeOVeneer · 07/11/2008 16:41

Muppet a similar thing happened with dd's cardiagn. She come out wihou i one day saying she couldn't find it. She came out the next day with the one I sent her in and the missing one. It was labelled with black laundry pen and her surname had been crossed out and the other girl's (in her class with the same first name)surname written with blue biro!

Original poster
memoo · 07/11/2008 16:45

It did have her name sewn into the collar, and its defo not in lost property, I have search everywhere. i even looked in bins in case someone had hid it for a 'joke'

I'm not really mad with the teachers, its the bloody parents who think they have a right to take something that doesn't belong to them. Christ knows what example they are setting the DC!

Stupid thing is that nobody is going to be able to wear it to school because I would recongnise it and I'm a T.A. in the school so I do get to see all the kids everyday.

Muppetgirl, Thats really horrible1

OP posts:
Simplysally · 07/11/2008 16:49

My dd came out in someone else's PE trousers when she was in reception or yr 1. I don't know how she achieved this but it took ages for the other Mum to restore her trousers to me (I'd passed the other ones back the next day). At least she didn't re-label them as her ds's though - what a cheek!

Fllightthebluetouchpaper · 07/11/2008 16:49

Oh I hope you do find it then - sounds like you have a good chance if you are there a lot. I bet they will wear it. Good luck x

Fllightthebluetouchpaper · 07/11/2008 16:50

Ds came home twice in reception with one particular child's jumper, it was named, I returned it quickly - I think I washed it.

Luckily I knew his mum. Although ds seemed to have both jumpers, his as well!

bumbling · 07/11/2008 16:51

Wearing it. that's what I'm waiting for. OMG at crossing out of names. Agree totally about parents. I know all of DS's clothes, god knows I've bought and washed the lot a million times.

Milliways · 07/11/2008 16:57

This was common with the school sweatshirts at our primary. Those "In the know" took to sewing in a second label inside a sleeve or bottom hem as the neckline ones were cut out & others written on!!

MorocconOil · 07/11/2008 16:57

You have my sympathies. My DS's have lost several school sweatshirts. I hate school uniform anyway and really begrudge buying more.
DS1 'lost' his £50 North Face coat the other day. I was very pissed off and went searching for it. When I couldn't find it I muttered something like 'I bet it's been stolen', within earshot of the secretary and the Deputy. As we were leaving we found it under a pile of leaves near the school gate where DS must have left it..

I was really embarrassed about making accusations, and made a pledge not to say things when I am angry I may regret later.

It is so annoying though when things go missing at school.

catsmother · 07/11/2008 18:38

Really sympathise with you. I'm not surprised you think it's been stolen, as opposed to another child with a similar or identical coat picking hers up instead of their own because otherwise, surely there would have been another coat left behind on the pegs ??

Are the coats hung in an area specifically for your daughter's class only ? If so, I'd be so tempted to ask each and every other parent in the class if they had "picked it up in error" ....... you might just shame them then into surreptitiously returning it.

I'd also ask the teacher how s/he suggests DD's property can be protected when you buy her another coat - as you clearly have no choice but to do so. If the cloakroom isn't secure, I'd ask that it's brought into the classroom with her ..... which, I appreciate isn't ideal, but why the hell should you (potentially) fork out again and again because some people are so dishonest ?

Guadalupe · 07/11/2008 18:48

It is really frustrating. Dcs have had lunchboxes and shoes taken home by mistake before but it's usually resolved.

I did know of someone who regularly took what she wanted from lost property snipping out the labels.

StickLadyLove · 07/11/2008 18:53

Could you put up a big notice on the door (somewhere all parents would see it) with big words, 'MISSING COAT' and description? Again, this might embarrass someone into bringing it back.
Also, is there a school newsletter? Put a notice in it about the coat as well.
YANBU at all, I would be furious.

choccyp1g · 07/11/2008 18:56

Following rumours of thefts at DS school, I feel ashamed to admit it, but I label everything clearly, and then do "secret" labels on the expensive items. Trouble is though, if you suspect a child of wearing your DCs clothes, you'd look a bit crazy rooting around in the sleeve for the hidden label. It would work for coats, and PE kit, if you could get permission to check the cloakrooms during class time.

Blandmum · 07/11/2008 18:58

It isn't the teacher job to go hunting for the coat, it really isn't.

Sorry you lost the coat, it is an utter PITA.

But impractical to expect the teacher to sort it. Is there a school news letter that you could but this into?

choccyp1g · 07/11/2008 18:58

I did have to put notices up once, when he came home in shoes a size too small. Teachers were shamed into making all boys with the same style remove them and check inside for the (clearly visible) name.
Guilty innocent child was sitting very comfortable in my sons size.