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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really upset that DD coat went missing at school?

55 replies

memoo · 06/11/2008 16:19

Picked DD (age 9) up from school and she had no coat. I asked her where it was and she said she couldn't find it.

I went back into school and asked her teacher if she knew where it was and she just said "no sorry" with a couldn't care less attitude.

So I myself searched everywhere, classroom, playground etc. Couldn't find it. So now DD has no coat!

I feel really cross and upset that her coat has just gone like that. I know DD has to look after her own coat to a certain extent but surely the school also has a duty to ensure people don't take somebody elses coat at hometime.

I can't believe how much it has upset me, had to stop myself getting upset at school. I can't afford to fork out another £30 for new one.

And now DD has no coat to wear to school tomorrow

OP posts:
DesperateHousewifeToo · 07/11/2008 18:59

I was going to suggest a second name-tape in a pocket but I know that won't help you find your dd's coat.

Could you ask the school to send a note home to ask all the parents to check their children's uniform as a few items have gone astray. That way no-one is accused and so, more likely to 'fess up.

My son lost his school jumper twice, each time it took a couple of months for it to turn up. I'd just replaced it after it turned up for the first time. Grrrr

Zahrah · 07/11/2008 19:03

I always write their name on the inner lining and on every label in the coat. I know it looks guff but since the same thing happened to us 4 years ago, I won't chance it again. It really annoys me having to do it but it's the only way. I wouldn't mind if the coat had been a crappy hand me down but it was a 50 quid jacket which DS1 only wore for the first few weeks of term.

You never know - it may turn up on Monday.

seeker · 07/11/2008 19:10

I know this isn't the point - but this is one of the reasons that I am an avid charity shopper. It doesn't feel so bad when a coat's lost or trashed if it only cost £5.00 or so.

sunnygirl1412 · 07/11/2008 19:13

All of ds1's secondary school PE kit went missing more than once - apparently it was a school 'joke' to hide people's kit. On one occasion it wasn't found and I had to spend over £60 replacing all the kit - it was a grammar school that insisted on the specific School kit for indoor PE, outdoorPE, rugby (inc rugby socks at £4.50 a pair), indoor and outdoor trainers and football boots, all in a proper kit bag.

I was less than amused.

I'm also sure that my ds's uniform has ended up in other people's wardrobes - if mine came home in something that was not theirs, I wouldn't dream of keeping it - sadly not everyone is as honest.

Memoo - I do hope that you find this coat - it is so frustrating and annoying, I know.

corriefan · 07/11/2008 19:14

I know the OP is not blaming the teacher but I just wanted to say as Y1 teacher in the past at a uniformed school it was very annoying to have to appease irate parents by wasting time looking for their child's clothes, which were often unnamed and almost always simply on the floor of the cloakroom where the child had dropped it. I have to say it tended to be the same children who's items went missing. Kids often strip off and dump clothes in the playground when they get hot running around, then forget to take them in. Yes there would be a round up of abandoned items at the end of break, but some still slip through the net and when they are unnamed, well there's little hope!
I know most of you are saying it's not the teacher's job, but personally I did try to make sure they all had everything and would feel blamed if things went missing...but if you think it's hard getting your own kids out the door with full kit every morning think about what the teacher has to remember!

corriefan · 07/11/2008 19:16

whose! Typo!

wotulookinat · 07/11/2008 19:23

Because of course teachers don't have enough to do already...

JHKE · 07/11/2008 19:29

I understand how you feel.. my ds is in reception and within 4 weeks of starting.. he came home one night in a pair of shoes 2 sizes too big..same make and style. Took shoes in next day.. teachers did a search through the day and put a sign up and has anyone brought them back - nope.. (its been about 3 weeks now, so no excuse) so ds is now wearing non school shoes as can't really afford another £40 on shoes.. I am rather peed off now as it now seems someone has kept them for themselves..

corriefan · 07/11/2008 19:32

One thing I learnt was to make sure each child gets into the routine of putting their normal clothes into their PE bag once they were changed. It's a bit of a faff but helps keep everything together.

MrsSanta · 07/11/2008 19:35

I always get dd a bright coat so she stands out. not always possible for some schools who have standard colour.

If you work in the school i would deffinately check every coat of children the same size, and tell the headd to if you need to.

How frecking cheeky to scrub a name out and your own kids name on it, sorry if id of seen it I would of made a show of mum casually saying " oh did you not notice x name on the jumper/coat"

needmorecoffee · 07/11/2008 19:45

dd has a stripey rainbow poncho. Anyone nicks that and we'll know about it!!

nkf · 07/11/2008 19:48

I love that bit about it being the school's duty to ensure coats don't get lost. It's an educational establishment don't you know. Whose job would it be? Or should it be a special member of staff? I don't know about unreasonable but you are definitely being odd.

muppetgirl · 07/11/2008 20:23

I am a teacher and I am the parent who's child's got taken home and another child wrote thier name on it in black marker pen. The coat was also ripped badly with the hood being totally ripped off and lost.
I viewed it is aprt of my job to help the children organise their clothes during school time. I would make sure they left their clothes in a pile on their desks when they changed for pe. I had cloakroom monitors to help keep the cloakroom tidy and clear of coats/jumpers on the floor. These are strtegies easily set up that aslo teach the children responsibility for their own clothes but also to help others to be tidy.
Clothes are not cheap especially school uniforms and I have a totally useless coat that I have to replace this weekend and I am dreading him going to school with a brand new one to be ripped and ruined with apparently no accountability. He is in reception and I would have thought that some help would have been given to help the children find their coats at the end of the day. (We have had fleeces come home clearly labelled with another child's name)

I take on board the point about having a 'secret' label and will be sewing several about his coat when I buy it at the weekend!

muppetgirl · 07/11/2008 20:24
needmorecoffee · 07/11/2008 20:36

surely, being in loco parentis means that at least an eye should be kept on stuff? I'd be fuming if dd came home without something.

seeker · 07/11/2008 21:08

I think that part of Reception teacher's job is probably to help little ones learn how keep tabs on their stuff. I REALLY don't think that a 9 year old's teacher should be expected to do the same!

catweazle · 07/11/2008 21:18

We used to get this all the time at primary with sweatshirts. As you say, if it was an innocent mistake then surely there would have been a "spare" coat hanging on the peg?

We also had it once at secondary when instead of the brand new M&S white shirt DS had worn to school he ended up in an off-white old cheapo thing... our's was named- whats the point?

MrsSnape · 07/11/2008 21:21

YANBU I hate this.

My DS has 'lost' numerous school sweaters now and it's ok saying the kids take them home by accident but the bloody parents should know better than to keep them.

I too like to send the kids to school looking smart so their clothes are never older than 6 months (apart from the coats which they keep until they grow out of) and its infuriating to spend £10+ on something just for someone else to claim it as their own.

shopaholicDIVA · 07/11/2008 21:28

im sure it will be found tomorrow. dont be too upset. i will be upset if it does not appear in a few days. i understand your feeling towards teachers attitude. i will be upset too.

needmorecoffee · 08/11/2008 08:51

cheap school uniform seems the order of the day I reckon.

squeakypop · 08/11/2008 08:57

YABU

sunnydelight · 08/11/2008 09:29

I agree it's a pita, and if money is tight it's doubly upsetting, but I would really prefer teachers spent time teaching not hunting for lost property. It's our job as parents to teach our kids to look after their stuff (though not helped by parents who are happy to steal ) What a nice example they're setting their kids!

MummyDoIt · 08/11/2008 09:29

Our school takes donations of unwanted, outgrown uniform and displays it on racks at parents' evenings. Anyone can help themselves and it's all free. Maybe this idea would help in other schools? If people knew they could get free uniform legitimately, they might be less inclined to steal.

Sidge · 08/11/2008 09:35

I can understand why you'd be cross but I think you have to expect this to some degree at school. Of course I'm not saying it's right for parents to steal clothes, and write their child's name in, but IMO 7-11 year olds are notoriously dappy and often mislay clothes, pick up the wrong coat (my 9 year old came home in a coat once, the same colour as hers but completely different, she hadn't even noticed! To her a blue coat was a blue coat).

I must admit I don't understand why parents spend so much on school stuff (£50 on a coat!). Why not just get them one for a tenner from Asda or a charity shop, then it's not quite such a disaster if it goes astray.

onthewarpath · 08/11/2008 09:54

In my experience, items of clothing do turn back up. Ask if they have a lost property box. Sometimes another child does take clothe by mistakes and brings it back in later. choccy I do the same (secret labels).

OP You are not stricly speaking BU but your daughter's items are to a certain extent her responsability ,not the teachers or the secretary...

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