To get sick of people having a go at me cos I don't drink??

[coolma]

Hi I'm new here, but am loving these threads Situation is, I realised I was drinking far too much recently so stopped. It was really really hard and I went through quite a rough time, but having done it, I've decided not to drink alcohol again-at least for as long as I feel this way, iyfswim. Is it right for people to laugh at me, tell me there's 'something wrong' with me and generally remind me what i was like when i was drunk? I'm beginning to get quite upset!!

For some reason it always seems to shock people that I don't drink, but I tend to just change the subject or walk away if they keep going on about it. I don't see it as that important.
Remind that somebody has to play the taxi driver at the end of the night.
Sorry you feel this way, but well done for giving it up.

No it's not right. Now you're sober and see them clearly you may find some of you "friends" aren't people you want to be around. .

If they're laughing at you for giving up something that was having such a negative impact on your life then they're not worth bothering with. Find yourself some more supportive friends.

People always find it hard when somebody they know changes. They seem to think somehow they'll morph into someone they don't know. They will get over it and get used to the new you; in the meantime, just try not to listen. You're doing a great thing!

YANBU. The people you associate with are being totally unreasonable.
You are doing the right thing for yourself.
Don't bow to peer pressure from such a silly bunch of peers!

It shows how insecure they are if they think you're being odd. I stop drinking alcohol in January each year as a quick way to lose a few pounds in weight after Christmas (as well as save some!) but the way one of my friends react, they take it as a personal affront that I prefer to abstain from booze for that month. One of my friends has never drunk and he doesnt need alcohol to have a good time - in fact the thought of him lairy, is quite scary .

I think people find people with willpower quite threatening. When I gave up smoking a 'friend' said 'quitting is for quitters'
wanker

good for you and well done on giving up something you think was controlling you rather than the other way round

Like the riming Simplysally

YANBU. My DP is a recovering alcoholic & in AA. When I first met him I think I viewed his non-drinking with suspicion but I grew to understand & totally respect him for it. I still cringe when I hear other's reactions to his requests for soft drinks at parties etc, etc - I don't know why they feel the need to judge and pass comment but they often do! If you're happy with the situation then that is all that matters and (I'm told!) it gets easier as time goes on.

Thank you for that! I think you're right - people are maybe worried I won;t be 'me'not drinking - actually I am 'me' now!! I try not to be uppity about it but it does get on my nerves!

congrats on your change coolma. i get a fair bit of this now i'm on a med i can't mix with alcohol. i find a simple 'blimey i thought you liked me, can;t you be a bit supportive?' cuts thru the crapola.

I think you need new friends.

Why do they want to remind you what you were like when you were drunk, instead of being supportive of you and admiring you for giving up?

They sound horrible. And a wee bit threatened tbh.

I've had some ribbing over not drinking - haven't done for 5 years. But its not too hard as we never go out or go to dinner parties. MIL goes on about it a bit though.
Your friends sound a bit mean.

YANBU

Well done what an amazing step to take, one of my close friends gave up drinking a couple of years ago and realised that a lot of her so called friends simply drifted away - they were either drinkers (and justifying each others drinking) or people who she could see actually weren't friends.

Mind you - might be a good reminder as to why not to drink IYSWIM

We never go out either!! I work very occasionally in a friends pub though with people who all knew my 'dark days' and they can be very stupid about it. True though, watching people drunk is a very good way of keeping me off the stuff!!

weird how people take offence when you don't do something. You wonder why they actually care! I don't drink coffee either (despite my nickkname) but no-one ever says anything about that or thinks I'm weird!

What do you say when they ask you what you would like to drink, and you ask for a soft drink, they question it/ exclaim in surprise/take the micky -

what do you say? That you don't drink, or that you gave up, or sort of fib and say it's cos you're driving? What do you say if people ask you why you're not drinking?

YANBU at all. much sympathy.

YANBU. Perhaps they are embarrassed to have a sober person in their presence to bear witness to their drunken twattery.

Maybe you could be honest with them. Tell them that you are the same person as you always were, but you didn't like what drinking did to you, so you have made up your mind to change, that it's hard and what would really help you is the support of your friends.
It's true, people are very threatened by change in the people they know. How many times has someone who has successfully lost a bit of weight been told 'you don't want to lose any more. You are too skinny now' etc. Your friends may well have loved the fact that on a night out, you could be guaranteed to a/provide the entertainment, and b/validate their own drinking and behaviour by being 'worse' (so they couldn't be 'bad')
They may feel that now they have to take that role, and they don't want to. They liked feeling smug!

I very rarely drink because I find that I can enjoy myself just as well without one and I can't bear to waste a day having a hangover, but I too get really fed up with people judging me for it. They seem to think that if you don't drink you are incapable of enjoying yourself and also that you never ever have had a good time in your life. Luckily for me I live in quite a remote place so i always have to drive and I often use this as an excuse. It is crazy that I have to justify it however.

i dont drink either, never have, when ever i go out with my friend i always get comments and often get laughed at. but you know what right for you, stick to your guns, if you feel better this way, ignore he loosers that dont know how to have a good time without getting drunk!

(that comment was only aimed at people who make fun of thoes who dont drink, not anyone here or specifficly)

I used to drink but have had to give up now as I became allergic to all alcohol. I would go bright red and my skin would itch.

Could you tell people that you have developed an allergy as most people accept that as a good reason not to be drinking.

YANBU. I have never drunk, and never will. It's no one else's business, and you'll be a lot healthier than the drinkers!

I don't drink at all and never have. It astounds me that people can be so obsessive about it frankly. I get sick of saying no. It starts as 'go on just try it' or 'just have a lager and lime, that won't get you drunk' and ends up with people buying me alcoholic drinks and pressing them into my hand. I just give them to someone else but do get fed up with justifying myself to people.