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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be irritated that schools assume mothers are close by at all times?

41 replies

Wispabarsareback · 06/11/2008 12:34

OK, here's my tedious juggling-family-and-work scenario this morning. It was 9.30 and I'd been at my desk for an hour and was just preparing to go to a meeting when DD1's school phoned. Child in DD's class had been sick and DD (who is 5) was in the line of fire - she's not ill, but she's covered in another child's puke and could I bring in clean clothes for her. I sigh internally and roll my eyes, mentally rejigging my diary for the morning - but I realise it's an unusual situation and it wouldn't occur to me not to hot-foot it home to get clothes etc.

So I say yes, of course, I'm at work right now but I'll be there within the hour. (Which is as quick as I can do it, given that I'm at work in the centre of London and home and school are a 30-min bus-ride away.) The school secretary then says, in a v stroppy way, 'An HOUR? But DD is really uncomfortable, she needs clean clothes now. Can't you get here sooner, or ask someone who lives near the school to come with clothes for DD?' Of course I explained I was at work and would get there as quickly as I could.

AIBU to feel deeply irritated by the school's assumption that I would be lurking around at home, ready to be there in moments, or that other people would be available to drop everything for me? DDs' friends all have mothers who work and have numerous commitments - it just wasn't possible to call up someone and say 'can you get round to the school with clothes'. There have been one or two other occasions where the school has seemed surprised that parents can't be conjured up at a moment's notice.

Am also asking self whether a touch of 'AIBU' might be appropriate with regard to the puking child, whose parents sent him to school this morning... But I'm sure that would be BVU indeed...

OP posts:

emkana · 06/11/2008 12:36

I'm surprised they don't keep spare clothes for situations like this

Tommy · 06/11/2008 12:36

don't they have any spare clothes at school? Lost property etc?

memoo · 06/11/2008 12:37

YANBU, I work in a primary school and we wouldn't even phone a parent for something like this. Each classroom keeps a supply of spare clothes that we can change a child into if needed. We would then bag up dirty/soiled clothes and send home at end of day

rosealbie · 06/11/2008 12:37

If it was my dc's school I am sure they would either have spare clothes or put the child in their PE kit.

PuppyMonkey · 06/11/2008 12:38

I think getting there within an hour is perfectly acceptable. Couldn't she have chnaged into PE top while she waited for you or something?

Great news about Wispa Bars too.

iheartdusty · 06/11/2008 12:39

of course YANBU, the school sec was being ridiculous

the secretary was at work, was she not? How quickly would she have been able to return home and go somewhere else, I wonder?

Anyway, why could they not give DD some bits from lost property for the day?

more · 06/11/2008 12:44

YANBU, an hour is quite quick to be able to get home to get some clean clothes and then go to the school with them.

chopchopbusybusy · 06/11/2008 12:44

I'd mention your surprise to the school. You can't be the only parent at the school working in central London. DDs school would either use clothes from the lost property box or let her use her PE kit (always in school anyway). I wouldn't get a phone call about it.

littlestrawberry · 06/11/2008 12:45

They should have a whole load of spare clothes for the little ones, I'm sure our school does.

I'm at home most of the time as I work nights but I would still be peed of if the school expected me to drop everything and take clean clothes in.

stealthsquiggle · 06/11/2008 12:47

YANBU. Games kit or spare clothes from the cupboard - like others, I would not even have expected to have got a 'phone call about this.

FWIW, if I did get a call it would be entirely possible that I was 3 hours away.

laweaselmys · 06/11/2008 12:49

It is very odd that they didn't have spare clothes. It's not like it's unusual for reception age children to have an accident or fall head first into the only puddle in the playground.

I always remember when my dad was called up by our school to come and collect my sister as she was sick, he was out sole carer at the time so nobody else could do it but he'd gone to a meeting in manchester and it took him four hours to get back! By which time she might as well have just got the train home with me. Secretary and nurse were really angry with him, but it wasn't like he could help it.

NorbertDentressangle · 06/11/2008 12:52

Ours has spares -in fact they've even asked for donations of old swimming costumes to have as spares in case children forget as they realise its not always possible for parents to nip home and into school with forgotten kit

Original poster

Wispabarsareback · 06/11/2008 12:54

Having read your responses I've now moved from mild to severe irritation with the school. Of course they should have spare clothes, and of course she has her PE kit there - that's what occurred to me as I arrived at the school, panting and breathless. And indeed she was wearing her PE t-shirt and some random trousers when I got there.

Think I might now mention it to the school, which I hadn't thought of doing before.

Go on, ladies - unreasonable to think the parents of puking boy shouldn't have brought him to school today? Especially given that the puking episode occurred shortly after 9am - wouldn't he have seemed unwell before school?

OP posts:

Pamina · 06/11/2008 12:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jollyjoanne · 06/11/2008 12:58

Yep, I think schools just forget occasionally that most people now have to work as well as look after the family. I remember fainting at school once and my mum saying is that it - can't she just stay there till home time. And the school being less than impressed by this idea!!! haha - I'm sure my mum loved me really. But she did work approx 30 mins away (at a hospital - never the easiest of places to leave - no matter how it appears in Holby) and my dad worked all over the country. Don't think it did me and my sister any harm though!

Oh and my mate is a teacher and from the stories she tells me - I think this sort of things happens a lot (sick / toilet accidents / mud / paint etc etc) - you'd think they'd be a little more prepared.

laweaselmys · 06/11/2008 12:59

Since I on more than one occasion walked through the front door of my school and immediately collapsed and vomited (nothing serious wrong with me! I was just a sickly child that caught everything going.) I will give his parents the benefit of the doubt on this occasion.

I hope you make it clear how peed off you are when you complain though.

arfishy · 06/11/2008 13:04

YA deffo NBU. Last term dd (5) managed to get drenched and she got sent home in a spare dress from the lost property box. It was only when I found her sodden one in her school bag that I realised what had happened.

Actually, DD's school is particularly good at raiding lost property. School excursions have to be in full uniform and if anybody turns up in the wrong stuff they get kitted out "appropriately" with something from the piles of stuff in the office. Same with the photos.

arfishy · 06/11/2008 13:06

Oh and at the Wispas. I am going to buy and eat 200 of them during my 3 week visit back to blighty this Christmas.

[glutton]

yomellamoHelly · 06/11/2008 13:07

Surely she has a PE kit? Other than that I wold have thought (as others have said they'd have lost property to raid.

coppertop · 06/11/2008 13:08

I'd be very surprised if there were no spare clothes available anywhere in the school.

I wouldn't be too quick to blame the parents of the boy who was sick though. One of my children went to school one morning and was absolutely fine. He ran into school laughing with his friend, stopped to speak to a couple of members of staff and then ran off to his classroom for registration. The teacher called the register and then ds promptly threw up everywhere. No-one could believe how quickly he went from smiling and talking to turning deathly pale and being sick.

onthewarpath · 06/11/2008 13:18

Yanbu. they should have spare clothe. Although DS once came out of school covered in Actimel ( in his first week in reception class) they did not give him spare nor did they call me. I wish they had as the poor lad spent the afternoon felling bad and stinking of yogurt. When he saw me at the school gate, he bursted into tears and I thought he had been sick on himself. They couldn't possibly have not noticed it.

cory · 06/11/2008 13:24

They should have spare clothes.

On the other hand, all our schools have always asked for a contact address for someone to come if dc's are ill or have an accident. We have come to mutual arrangements with people about this sort of thing: if I'm at work you'll cover for me and vice versa. There are occasions when a child needs their parent (or similar) to turn up.

cory · 06/11/2008 13:25

But how strange not to use PE kit!

guyFAwkesreQuiem · 06/11/2008 13:25

YANBU about the school expecctations of you being able to get there, and them not just getting your DD to wear her PE top or clothes from the lost property.,

With regards to the sick child - DS1 has done that to me in the past - so I wouldn't automatically think the parents were wrong.

stitch · 06/11/2008 13:27

to the op
thasts what pe clothes are for.
the school is being incredibly unreasonable.

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