to be irritated that schools assume mothers are close by at all times?

[Wispabarsareback]

OK, here's my tedious juggling-family-and-work scenario this morning. It was 9.30 and I'd been at my desk for an hour and was just preparing to go to a meeting when DD1's school phoned. Child in DD's class had been sick and DD (who is 5) was in the line of fire - she's not ill, but she's covered in another child's puke and could I bring in clean clothes for her. I sigh internally and roll my eyes, mentally rejigging my diary for the morning - but I realise it's an unusual situation and it wouldn't occur to me not to hot-foot it home to get clothes etc.

So I say yes, of course, I'm at work right now but I'll be there within the hour. (Which is as quick as I can do it, given that I'm at work in the centre of London and home and school are a 30-min bus-ride away.) The school secretary then says, in a v stroppy way, 'An HOUR? But DD is really uncomfortable, she needs clean clothes now. Can't you get here sooner, or ask someone who lives near the school to come with clothes for DD?' Of course I explained I was at work and would get there as quickly as I could.

AIBU to feel deeply irritated by the school's assumption that I would be lurking around at home, ready to be there in moments, or that other people would be available to drop everything for me? DDs' friends all have mothers who work and have numerous commitments - it just wasn't possible to call up someone and say 'can you get round to the school with clothes'. There have been one or two other occasions where the school has seemed surprised that parents can't be conjured up at a moment's notice.

Am also asking self whether a touch of 'AIBU' might be appropriate with regard to the puking child, whose parents sent him to school this morning... But I'm sure that would be BVU indeed...

I think a lot of schools think parents are just lurking ready to rush back with something forgotten judging by when they timetable school events.

My dd's school would have changed her into the spare clothes kept in the office (that reminds me, I must drop off the outgrown uniform to add to the box) and sent her dirty ones out in a carrier bag. How horrid for your dd to be puked on though .

How bizarre, dd's school keep a stack of uniform in all sizes, they even keep socks, vests, pants and knickers, as well as some wellies in case of a footwear emergency.

The secretary was out of order. And suggest they start holding a stack of spare clothes!

YANBU. The school should have spare clothes. At our school, I wouldn't even find out about something like this til I picked my child up at the end of the day wearing school spares or their PE kit holding a bag of their rinsed-out, puked-on clothing.

In defense of the parent of the child who was sick - I had form as a primary school child, for being sick unexpectedly, at the most inappropriate possible time and place. Including morning assembly. My mother used to get grief from the school for sending me in when I was ill, but I honestly never knew ahead of time that I was going to do it!

I know that kids can be sick with no warning - wasn't really a serious AIBU question! As a working parent I have to be really convinced that DD is at death's door before keeping her at home, so my sympathies are with the parents! DD and her friends were much impressed with the volume and velocity of puke the kid produced.

But I have dropped the head an email asking them to remember that parents aren't always 5 mins away from school at all times, and saying that by the time I got to school the problem seemed to have been resolved. Will probably have my card marked now as an irritating, high-maintenance parent.

i have had this discussion so many times with my DS's school. i work 1.5 hours from school on a good day, their dad is at least an hour away. and yet since sept i've had at least 3 calls asking me to come in immediately because

1.ds2 didnt have a waterproof coat & was getting wet - could i bring one in RIGHT NOW? i told them to look in his bag...and lo & behold there it was.

1. ds2 didnt have his lunch. could i bring it in RIGHT NOW?? getting wise to this, i suggested they try his bag again, or in fact ask him if he knew where it was. i then hear 'ds2, where is your lunch?' reply ' i left it at my childminders' i phoned her & she brought it in. not sure why no-one asked him before i thought of it...
2. ds1 - who's in year 6 - has a nosebleed. this is a regular occurance, doesnt faze him at all. it was a bad one however & was all over his shirt. could i bring him in another one right now? (it was about 2pm by this point, school finishes at 3.15) i suggest they use lost property - and am told oh we only keep spare clothes for the little ones surely if its lost, its lost?! ok i say - what about his PE kit?

clearly no-one had thought of that.

i despair of this school sometimes, ofsted outstanding or not! its not even the fact i am a fair distance from school, its that they dont seem to think before phoning, its as though they have a problem & dont consider a solution its just quick phone the parents & get them to sort it out

The postscript to this little saga is that when I investigated the plastic bag of dirty clothes at home later, there was honestly hardly anything on them at all! Talk about an over-reaction from the school. I'm not saying that DD shouldn't have had her clothes changed, just that she was clearly not 'covered' in vomit - it wasn't remotely a crisis.

I emailed the head in the afternoon with a few well-chosen observations about assuming parents are 5 mins away at all times and ready to come rushing in for trivial reasons, and had a very nice reply straight back, saying he agreed it was very silly and he would talk to staff about the general principle. He also said that of course the school has spare clothes for this sort of situation!

Start billing them for your wasted time!

Crikey. The school ought to have spare sets of uniform available for these occasions. My DD's school does.

YANBU.
I've had this from DD's school, they knew we lived in a village quite far away and I was expected to be at the school within minutes to pick her up once cos she 'felt a bit poorly'. She was fine.
Thankfully they do use PE kit or spare clothes if needed and if a child forgets their lunch they get a school dinner.

The school secretary sounds like one of those women who think all Mums should be SAHMs. We had one in the ds's junior school.

Call them back & ask them to put her sports kit on or her coat - they must have some spare clothes?

Sometimes schools amaze me. My ds came out of the school gates without his trousers! Admittedly he had put his p.e. shorts on, but the trousers were missing.

I mean, how far away can a pair of trousers go?

They had been stuffed into another child's p.e. bag, but the teacher "didn't have time" to ask the kids to check their bags.

I had to find the time the next day to personally go through 29 p.e. bags.

I agree chipmonkey - the school sec definitely takes the view that mothers can't possibly have anything else to do when DCs are at school. She seems genuinely astonished at the idea that I might be somewhere else, doing something else during the school day!

Hmm, I too would sometimes be 3 hours away!

However, now that I think about it, perhaps that is a long time for a true emergency and should see if I can arrange for a friend to be called upon IN A TRUE EMERGENCY!

YANBU , I am a SAHM but it would be perfectly possible for me to have gone to the shops or to visit my grandmother who is ill etc when DD in school. SAHM or not I wouldn`t think that I should hover in the house or around the school gates ready to spring into action should supermum be needed !
The woman was being ridiculous, glad the head can use a bit of common sense.