to want to tell other parents that Autism is not contagious?

[ALMummy]

My ds has recently been diagnosed with High Functioning Autism. A couple of people with dc who I was friendly with suddenly melted away when I told them he was being assessed - before he was even diagnosed. He is not aggressive, just a bit quirky and it didn't seem to be a problem till I openly said he was being assessed.

I know the general consensus on here will be that it would not bother you if your friends child was autistic but this has not been my experience so far in rl.

dont know about gordon brown being aspie, but Bill Gates, is. so was einstine. they did ok, .tell the ignorant gits that- guarenteed to shut them up(if they have enough brains to know who bill gates and einstine are?lol)

Most IT departments are probably full of them

Famous people who MAY have had Asperger's:

www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/article_2086.shtml

Sumomum, Sorry, family joke about Scottish men (we are Scots so allowed to make jokes about them), basically both may have limited expression of emotion esp. in public but that would be regarded as normal for them IYSWIM. I was not slagging GB off as I get a bit fed up with people saying he is a too dour and serious, he reminds me of my Dad who is always very serious and proffessional in public but kind and generous in a quiet way at home. Don't we want serious, hardworking politicians?
I probably should have said some AS traits rather than AS, I seem to have turned into an AS spotter in a "takes one to know one kind of way" but occasionally get carried away (wouldn't say anything to anyone in RL though)

do you think that maybe they are just (wrongly) staying away because they are not sure what to say to you?

I can't imagine anyone would stay away because of the diagnosis, that would be ridiculous

gordon brown is blind in one eye and is apparently also losing the sight in the other. apparently he only has about 20% vision left in his good eye.

Have read this thread with interest as a close friend has recently had DS diagnosed with HFA, nearly 4yrs old. She is a fantastic mother and a lovely lovely lady but some things are too raw/upsetting for her to talk to me about him and when we touch on the subjects she wells up, the main one being that he has never said a word, can I draw upon any exp from other Mums as to when/If her dreams may come true and she will hear his first words?. He has 5yr old intelligence & can spell words out with alphabet cards & make 8 word sentances, so he has a fantastic knowledge of language, just not ready to be vocal yet. Sorry to crash but feel I may be able to comfort her more if I had a bit more understanding of this area, all other areas, motor skills etc he his making a great improvement in.

I don't know enough about the speech aspect of it I am afraid as ds is extremely verbal. However he didnt say a recognisable word until nearly 3 and once he started that was it. He has a fabulous vocab now. Perhaps you could direct your friend to the Special Needs Board here on Mumsnet because there is so much fab advice and support on there. From what I can tell there is no hard and fast rule with autism, so many differences in all the kids.

Maybe they are staying away because they don't know what to say to me. Still not great friendship though is it?

Sorry you have had such dispiriting experiences . I've been relatively fortunate in that I've not lost friends due to DS's language problems - but I have found it much harder to make new mummy friends - as DS wasn't exactly ideal playdate material (not aggressive but passive and aloof at times).

One lovely friend of mine just simply says when she doesn't know what to say - that she's sorry I'm stressed, and she doesn't really know enough about the subject to say much - which is an absolutely fine response.

AlMummy, It is very possible that people really do not know what to say, from my own perspective as a friend these were my concerns -

That I will make her already hectic life more stressfull if I decend with my Lo's, as DS likes routine & dislikes visitors.
That I would say something so upset her by simply talking about my LO's achievements/deveopments.
That any kind of moan about my Ds's is really out of order as just a tantrum or "No" shouted would be wonderfull for her to hear.

We have talked about all of the above and to be honest if we had not I fear I may have been walking on eggshells a bit, in actual fact her response to all of the above was the complete opposite to what I originally thought.

HTH maybe some of your friends are thinking of you more than your LO if this makes sense? x

My friends are good in that they listen to me patiently when i am going on about DS2's progress or lack of it, am rather ashamed that I don't feel very patient when they talk about their kids more minor (to me any way) problems.

We have drifted away from one family of very old friends as their boys were not very understanding of my boys mild quirks (at one point calling DS1 a "weirdo"), it was the fact that the mother ,who is a physchologist, always excused the behaviour that upset me more than the behaviour. Last time we saw them, things were much improved due to greater maturity all round I think, but I have found it quite difficult to deal with.

I do meet new people, some people get DS2 right away, if they like him I like them too, he works as a good people filter!

I remember a child saying to DS once "You are being really silly DS!" because ds could see no point in joining in with this childs game, so didnt. You can't really say to a 4 year old, "Well actually DS thinks that you are being really silly and rather boring too!" I had a little giggle about that one. Thats what I would like a chance to explain "You think DS is weird, but he thinks you are too", so who is right?

I know what you are saying mummyplonk. Perhaps in the very beginning I might have been upset by questions but as I said in another post I am used to it all now and would really welcome the questions. If I thought that was how it was with my friends then I would feel comfortable to say to them not to worry and ask whatever they want to about ds but it was not the impression that I got. It doesn't really bother me now anyway. Had some great responses on this thread.