Plesae don't read this - it's just me being mildly annoyed....

[captainmummy]

At my next-door neighbours girl. SHe is 11 and so full of her own importance. Yesterday she came downstairs (she treats the house as hers, BTW) complaining (weak and wibbly voice) 'DS2 has been spraying his underarm deodorant and I haven't got my inhaler' Honestly I would almost expect a back-of-the-hand to the brow. Stupid DS2, using his own underarm, in his own bedroom, in his own house. Anyway, DS3 comes in later from her house (he was invited, I might add) stinking of airfreshener, which she has liberally sprayed him with.

And she ignores me when I suggest it's hometime, if she's on the nintendo. Unless I shout, at which she will sigh loudly, and peel herself off the sofa, then spend 15 minutes looking for coat/shoes/keys/glasses.

She walks into MY house and says 'oh ds3 has had a haircut! Looks stupid' when I did it yesterday.

She will walk into MY house and see a friend of one of the boys, and demand 'what are YOU doing here?'

She was invited to a haloween do (in a field) and turned up in shoes with heels. When I suggested she would get cold feet, I'm told 'I don't get cold feet. I don't know why, just don't' so I said well they will get muddy 'oh I'll wash them' 'well you will be uncoomfortable 'oh I never get uncomfortable. Don't know whay I jsut don't' OK then. Later that evening, guess what...

She winds the dses up, but they still play with her, it's just that sometimes I want ot prick her self-absorbed, self-important bubbles and scream 'for gods sake, you ARE NOT ALL THAT!!!!!!!'

Thank you.

Ah... that's girls for you

She sounds very full of herself
A little madam I think is the term my mum would use

Change the locks?

Sounds awful. Also like she is rather desperate for attention - does she get it at home?

Mmmmm sounds like most of the girls in my year 7 group......

A little madam indeed StealthPolarBAng. And a Know-it-all. And a PITA...

We have House Rules for those kind of guests.

ie) "Francesca (she seems like a Francesca ), you are welcome to be here, but you must be kind/ do as you are asked/etc" Be firm, she will sense any weakness

Also, do you have her there when you want her there, or when she wants to come?
Can you not tell her that its not a good time for visitors?

And, WHY are you arguing with an 11 year old??!!!! I get that she really gets on your nerves, but that is the joy of other people's children - doesn't matter if they are cold/muddy/etc,

Yip, you need to tell herthat she need to watch her attitude. She will end up rubbing off on your DC and who wants that? Take her aside and have a word about your expectations of guests in your home.

Alternatively, act like a teenage girl and patronise the life out of her. 'Oh yes, when I was 11 I used to think that too..' followed by a smug laugh. There are a million variations on this theme and you could have great fun undermining a snooty 11 yr old.

Or you could be a grown-up and tell her not to come back until she sorts her attitude out.

Shoot - that is a fab idea! She does tend to come in whenever she feels like it, - the house used to belong to an older woman who went into a home. Anyway, this lady was like an aunty to the girls next door, and every now and then 'francesca' (thank you purpleduck) will say ' oh I love that cupbaord/window/carpet, I used to hide in there/sleep there etc' and go all misty-eyed and once even cried because I was knocking out the old kitchen.
A lot of the prob is not that she says these things to me, but I hear her saying them to the dses. And they are not so quick with a comeback. She is in most days after school, but I dont mind that, she sits and plays on the nintendo or watches tv. But it does get a bit like we have to be in at 4.15, otherwise she will ask ds where we were!

I just dont get on with her. Anyone else could probably do the same and it wouldn't bother me, butshe has an unfortunate way about her.

Set boundaries
I found that, with friends like that, half the reason why I got so upset with them is because everything was on their terms.

It is hard (I LIKE being the house where the kids are welcome), but once I put my foot down, I felt better about the child.

I have no problem with interrupting their play if they are being nasty, and just make my presence known. Usually I follow it up by telling the guest child that it is time to go home in 5 minutes. They catch on - bad behaviour = quick ejection

We had one of those, she counted dds money in her purse and went through all her things that was the last time she came round.

She still thinks she is all that - but not in our house.

Yeah but the thing is - she does not behave badly! If it was fighting/bullying etc I would eject, no prob. But it's the snidely comments, made to the dc, who come up to me late and say 'francesca said so-and-so, but she's just as bad isn't she mum'. She once told me that she speaks dutch better than english 'sometimes' (she has a dutch relative, but has never been there in her life) and when I say 'oh ok then, say good morning in dutch' she will say, 'well it's not one of those times'!

I used to walk her to school and she would never listen to my opinion, would not accept that I could know anything about anything, and would ALWAYS have to have the last word.

It amazes me, because her mum is the most lovely woman.

I think she sounds delightful. I would like to say she will grow out of it, but I expect she won't. She likes the attention, you respond to her. I would tend to do some ignoring myself.

Infuriating. I think I would try to lay down a few ground rules.

We are the open house on the street and I have had to make the odd snippy comment to neighbours children who tend to take liberties - such as saying 'come in' when someone knocks on the door . And never take a hint about leaving - ie we call our DC to dinner and the visiting children just sit there! We actually have to say 'bye then! See you TOMORROW. You have to go now...'

Actually there is one lad who winds me up huuugely. But I thought I was being unreasonable. Until I discovered that another mum called him a 'rude little boy'. Such a relief

"kids are like farts ,you love your own and hate everyone else's "

FACT .

She sounds just like me when I was a kid

What's wrong with a bit of self confidence - she'll need it in this big bad world.

I'd feel sorry for her tbh- sounds like she gets absolutely no attention or input at home

But maybe its the opposite PeachPear, maybe she gets tones and requires it elsewhere too. You just don't know.

UpJacobsCreek - PMSL
Never a truer word spoken

ww- what does 'tones' mean please?

lots
{tonnes spelt wrongly - masses, huge amounts}

purpleduck: the spooky thing is I know a brat little darling like that who is called Francesca

Keep your doors locked.