to not want to spend Christmas Day at my Jewish sis-in-law's house?

[scampadoodle]

DH isn't religious, I am lapsed Catholic. His sister is fairly observant (ie she probably wouldn't eat at our house cause we're not kosher). We've been invited to her house on Christmas Day, along with my MiL & I expect various Jewish others, all of varying degrees of observancy.

I don't want to go. DH is cool about this so that's not why I'm posting. The thing is, am I being a bit daft when it would mean I wouldn't have to do much food shopping or indeed cooking (we're away at New Year)?

My practical reasons against are:
SiL's cooking can be a bit hit & miss, & I am quite a good cook - I can drum up a tasty Christmas dinner with lots of yummy snacks etc.
Er, that's it!
My emotional reasons are:
It won't be in the least Christmassy: no tree, no daft Christmas music.
The more 'frum' people there will say "Merry Christmas" to me in a very stilted way (if you are Christian, try saying 'Happy Diwali' to someone - that's how it sounds!)

I suppose I just want a few people on here to say "You're a daft mare, but I know what you mean!"

AMumInScotland - ROFL at the concept of a "kosher Christmas dinner"...

I do miss the chipolatas though...

Right, I spoke to DH tonight & whilst he's not bothered if we don't go, he doesn't quite understand why I don't want to & was making me feel a bit guilty (Jewish-Catholic combination - lethal) SO I have said we will go but with these conditions:

He is to take at least Christmas Eve afternoon off work so we can have nice family time at home & supper together.

On Christmas Day, we go to SiL's for lunch only. I don't mean we'll bolt our food & leave but we are not spending most of the day there.

I am allowed to have milk in my tea or coffee after lunch, & if we are having Christmas pud I am bringing a wee tub of real cream with me.

I am bringing my Christmas with the Ratpack CD, also Ella wishes you a Swinging Christmas

I might also bring my little silver tree just to inject a bit of pagan festivity.

What do you think?

I think you're a very nice person, scampadoodle - have a lovely Christmas

Don't go! There's nothing to feel guilty about and your DH isn't bothered. So don't go. Have a great time at home.

Your SIL might grind an axe about the milk 'n' meat thing.......

Don't go!
Sttart building your OWN traditions for your family Scampa, they will be the memories your children have of Christmas.

You don't have to go and fit in.
You really shouldn't feel guilty.

Agree with all the others - don't go. It is seriously loopy to compromise your own traditions like this

Scamp - I grew up with a dad who worked over Xmas so we used to have our Xmas day whenever he was home. Some years it was Xmas eve (like the continentals on here) and some years it was on Boxing Day! We never minded.

So an alternative is to get dh to take the day off work and "do" Xmas on Xmas Eve? So you trip to g'mas will be like a Boxing Day outing .

Oh, you've put me in a quandary. The main reason why I've given in is that we are going away the day after Boxing Day so I won't need to do my usual massive shopping & cooking marathon as we won't get a chance to eat the leftovers, & if I'm not doing Christmas lunch I can relax a bit in the morning & we can have smoked salmon & home-made blinis for breakfast without my feeling I am chained to the cooker. Then we'll be back in the afternoon - no washing up to do - & we can chill out together. Boxing Day I'll have to pack.
Also at my SiL's she & her husband will be the only frummers; everyone else going is fairly relaxed. I mean, there won't be any pork scratchings hanging about but it shouldn't be too...oh bugger, I don't know what to do!

I think if you've made your decision, stick to it now. But think ahead to next year (if you can bear to) and decide how you want to tackle it then.

I think your reasons are perfectly good ones. Christmas Eve is my favourite part of the whole shebang anyway, make that really special.

I don't really understand why, if they're so kosher, they're celebrating Xmas at all. Please don't knock me down, I know I'm ignorant! But, really, why?

They're not celebrating Christmas Jux, it's just that they use the holiday to have a family get-together.

Choosy: my mother usually stays with us at Christmas (which is a fecking nightmare in itself) & there is no way she would enjoy herself at SiL's on Christmas Day - & I would never hear the end of it - so that would be my excuse.

I'd go,given what you've just said...it's for a few hours, make sure you take your cream and then you won't have to do all the shopping/cooking/clearing up either and you can scoff chocs and pork and shellfish snippets later !!

Oh boy I really am a duh-brain sometimes! Thank you.

It seems to me that therefore you have every right not to go. It would be like having to go to a family get-together on your birthday iyswim.

You can always say that you will be celebrating Christmas on that day, so can come and see the family Xmas eve or Boxing Day.

OK, so go this year.

Next year, you start your own family tradition at Christmas time and visit DH's family on Boxing Day or whatever. That's what we do.