To feel absolutely gutted at how little my family think of my child?

[deanychip]

I know that this is age old and has been discussed to death.
Went away and took the mil with us for a little holiday.
Ds is 5 and thier only GC.
She was showing me some pictures on her digital camera and there were pictures of strangers getting pissed up on a Friday night in dh's younger brothers bedroom (still lives at home, aged 34 pissess all of his wages up the wall every weekend) with mil joining in. Not a single picture of ds at all.
Claiming to not have enough time to do this that and the other, never sees ds unless she and fil come to the house with something wrong with thier car for dh to fix.
never offer to take him out, look after him or see him.
She told me over and over that FIL absolutely LOVES zoos and animal parks and that when they go out, they go to these places. (never offer to take ds)

Thats dh's family, mine just act as if my boy belongs to some one else, nothing to do with them, and yet my mother has both my sisters kids every day/ week over night and picks them up from school.

I am sad about this, and although i didnt sya any thing to my MIL, it made me want to cry.
Unreasonable?

yanbu to be sad but you can't make someone be good family.

Big hugs.

it can't be all bad, she came on holiday with you didn't she?

WHY NOT!
I want to thump their miserable heads in until they say "ok, ok, we will be the grandparents that we should be"

Now that i know is unreasonable

yes, free holiday!
Feel sorry for her, but she jsut makes me feel so sad.

did she babysit while you were away?

We are really good to them.
The list goes on and on about times that they have let us down.

I feel envious of other people who say "oh yes, my mums having the kids" Or " my mum wants to take the kids to the bomb fire"

I understand how upset/hurt you feel. Agree with needmorecoffee cant pick your family.

My mum hasnt seen my ds (10 week) for 4 week not even a phone call and he and my 20 month have been poorly. she has only seen him 3 times. This makes me so sad. she has only been to my house 3 times in nearly 2 years.

I justify it. She has a business, shes had her children etc....

Not at all! never even offered and we would never ask, feel too cheeky.

still hurts though, she only lives 3 miles away too.

sorry but lolol at the bomb fire

ah no1, it so does hurt doesnt it.

hehehehe! Bombfire! spelling is awful and i post without checking

I know what you mean though

My dad has paid for all the grandchildren to go to the panto this year, without checking if we could could as we are the only ones who live away, just asumes we can't go so doesn't get our dcs tickets

It is sad. I think you may just need to accept it though and get on with adoring your DC.

Does your sister and family live closer to your mum beacause that does seem unreasonable?

Do they do this intentionally?
Why do they not see how hurtful it is?
I have often said to mil that she can take ds out to the park for an hour if she wants. You see i have always looked at it as they have him when they want him and not when i ask them to have him because of work or whatever.
That never seems to come, which tells me that actually they dont want him.
(She has looked after him on occasion when i have really struggled due to work, i have bought her flowers and paid her and left her a lovely lunch and its only ever been for about 2 hours as dh comes home then makes her tea)
We never ever put on her.

We all live within a mile of my mother.

I think that she dislikes my son, and thinks she wouldnt cope with him.
She absolutely dotes on my dn &dn.

sorry, I had a giggle over bombfire too

does she like your DH?
Do you have a bad relationship with her compared to your sis?

I understand how hurtful it is, because you're sad for your little boy.

My DM favourises one of my DN and it upsets me on my kids behalf (and on my DN's brother )

yanbu do you think you could ask them why they do this?

my mother LOVES my dh.
Im not sure that asking them would achieve anything of benefit. I think it would just cause argument and falling out. I cant be trusted to have an unbiased discussion and feel too emotional to bring it up iyswim.

Just have to live with it i suppose.

my mother has been all of our lives a very difficult woman, i do get on well with her and dont have any cross words with her.
She is intollerant of "other peoples kids" this means my ds.

could your dh talk to let about it? in a not starting a row but do you realise your doing this and could you please stop?