to feel I shouldn't have to bring my own food everytime I go to a party?

[BloodyStranglingwithBling]

Dp and I are going to a halloween party tonight. I just pulled out the invite to double check the details and have spotted a line asking us to bring a plate of nibbles. This has been happening a lot recently - we get invited to a party then at some point, I'm asked to bring a plate of something (incidentally, it's always me that receives the email on food - not DP, although in this case it was in the original email).

These are people who are in their 30s, often married or coupled up, with mostly good jobs and careers. Is it so much to ask that if you want to invite people round, you should feed them?

I'm tempted to bring DP and I a sandwich each.

[and yes, it's "his" friends. my friends send us home with leftovers, never mind asking us to bring anything ].

This is becoming common I think to encourage more people to get together especially now money is getting tight.

What a strange thing to do! Byob perhaps but byof? Never heard of that!

i've not been to a party where i turned up empty-handed.

why not just nip into M&S on the way over and pick up a tray of something?

easy peasy!

I only object when it's a bbq and you are asked to bring your own meat.

I never get invited anywhere.
Tell you what, we swap lives, I'll go to all your social gatherings if all I have to do is bring a plate of nibbles.
You can have, er... nights in with my miscreant lively offspring.

I always bring things too. But normally a nice bottle of wine or champagne, or even two, and chocolates/flowers or whatever.

It's not the money, it's just the premise. I find it annoying. i've been looking forward to this evening and now I have to actually prepare for it? . Eeegads!

Do I get to drink wine while having nights with "lively offspring"? In which case, you're on!

don't go if you don't like being sked

Snotty, if that was an option, believe me, I'd go for that.

I think I'm just being a miserable old cow because this is the third of fourth party this has happened for recently. And DP doesn't think about it, so I always have to. And frankly, I'd rather to down the pub. But I'm being a bit scroogelike.

I appreciate there are times and places where this is entirely appropriate - like christmas for example - I am just not feeling it right now. I am bolshy. And don't like being told what to do [at least this one didn't tell me what to bring - the last party of this sort I was given very specific instructions on what I was to provide]

Were going to a halloween party this evening and I havnt been asked to bring anything but I always do. The same people are always hosting the parties so I think its only fair to take a little contribution along. they always have christmas parties, new years, summer bbq's etc so I always take say a trifle, sausages or some larger for everyone.

Snap, Charlotte.
Though I still odn't know what to take and there's only a few hours to go!

i think its odd to be shocked at request tbh.surely its manners to take either drink or nibbles/or both.

take couple of bags of twiglets!

I used to dislike this from the opposite end fo the spectrum - I liked planning the food for a party. I love cooking and I used to get fed up when people insisted on bringing pudding and then turned up with a frozen gateau.

Now I have a child I'm far too tired to put on this sort of spread any more, so I don't mind.

I do find that it makes everything quite samey if everyone always has to bring things though because you end up with trays of sandwiches, salad in a bag etc.

We always do this, as do most of our friends. I'd never turn up to a party empty handed, and usually ask what I can bring so they don't get loads of duplication.

When we get together with friends we don't expect to be fed and waited on, also I always think a bottle of wine and some nibbles or choccies is far cheaper than paying for a meal or a night out in town.

I guess different people do different things though.

These are fab for nibbles: cook some new potatoes in the oven (like roasties), cross the top and squeeze a little so they look like mini jacket potatoes, top with philly cheese and chopped chives. Scrummy delish and takes about 30 mins max.

(sorry, like jackets, not like roasties)

see everyone going to the party tonight will probs bring something along but everyone has such a broad range of tastes that there will be a variety of foods.

we have pie nights. each couple bring a homemade pie that has to be made by the man of the house. the hosts provide mash, gravey and plates and wash up. its great fun and we've never had 2 pies the same!!! as for bring nibbles i think thats cheeky. if i invite people round i provide nibbles/food and people bring a bottle or something like chocolate.

Normally I would take drink, however, if they're asking you to to bring food I would take that as an indication that you don't take drink - maybe they are planning to provide punch or mulled wine or something? I agree it would be a bit much to expect you to bring both.

I've been to several bbqs where people bring their own meat, btw, and I don't see why that's an issue - the person hosting the party would provide all the bits like rolls and salad, people bring their own value chicken thighs or organic burgers according to how much they're bothered what they eat. Otherwise it would be prohibitively expensive to have a bbq unless you were going to go down the Tesco value route.

Oh no, we have to bring our own booze too.

Which I think is totally reasonable quite frankly - I wouldn't dream of turning up without something. And normally I try take something a little "nicer" so that if they've provided booze, they can treat my bottle as a gift and enjoy it on another day.

I see all the points people have made, but to me, there's a difference between the kind of casual evening where you all agree to split the workload and expense (eg last minute New Year's party, family events etc), and inviting people formally for a party that you are hosting.

MrsBoring - I know what you mean. We're hosting new year's this year and I'm already thinking about the menu. I will gratefully accept gifts of booze, chocoltes etc, but I think I'd be secretly quite cheesed off if someone ruins my themed evening by turning up with a cheesecake or something!

Madre - I like the potatoe idea, although not for tonight. I won't get home until 7pm if I'm lucky and we are supposed to be there at 8. I don't have time for cooking and preparing food for other people's parties.

Pringles it is then?

What about a plate of carrot and cucumber sticks?

Pre chopped from M&S? Oh yes!

Will get back in my box. Am just knackered and tired and a bit irritated. I think I've averaged 60 hour weeks for the last three and this is my first weekend where I don't have a whole lot of chore type things on and so one more request for my time and effort feels like the equivalent of being asked to whip up a three course meal for 15 people.

I know that feeling bling!