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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that DS shouldn't get told off for not praying??

36 replies

MrsSnape · 29/10/2008 22:25

Ds is really upset and has told me that he gets into trouble at school if he doesn't pray during assembly! It's not a religious school yet all of the kids (including the muslims etc) are forced into Christian prayer.

DS get's into trouble enough, I'm not happy about this being added on to another reason why he is shouted at at school.

I'm thinking of complaining.
AIBU?

OP posts:
ewwwmy2shoesarefullofblood · 29/10/2008 22:26

is it the praying or being quiet?

TheFallenMadonna · 29/10/2008 22:28

As with all these things, I'd check out what he's telling you before you complain.

Leaving aside the wrongs of collective Christian worship in schools, is he messing around in assembly? And spinning it?

LaDiDaDi · 29/10/2008 22:29

He should not get told off for not praying but he should if he cannot be quiet and respect the prayers of others.

Saturn74 · 29/10/2008 22:29

No, it's not fair.
You can't force someone to pray.
Could you maybe speak to DS and see if he could use these times to think quietly about something during these times?
Maybe say you will think of him at that time, so he could think of you.

Cheesesarnie · 29/10/2008 22:30

how do people know hes not being quiet?

yanbu-no he shouldnt be forced to pray.id complain

TheFallenMadonna · 29/10/2008 22:32

I was merely enquiring cheesesarnie.

TheHedgeWitch · 29/10/2008 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Cheesesarnie · 29/10/2008 22:34

no i didnt mean it meanly-just 3 posters said it and i wondered if i missed something.sorry

pooter · 29/10/2008 22:34

ooh i'd be livid. Id go in and ask about the situation - get the teachers' views about what is going on, and make it clear to them that he is not to be told off for this - coercing children into religious practices is dreadful!

ewwwmy2shoesarefullofblood · 29/10/2008 22:35

I just asked as little boys are not know for being quiet

tuesdayafternoon · 29/10/2008 22:35

Agree with FallenMadonna - check very carefully exactly what he is being told off for before you complain - IME kids are very good at giving only their side of the story

Cheesesarnie · 29/10/2008 22:36

sorry

lisad123 · 29/10/2008 22:37

thats terrible, my DD1 never prays at school, never sings christian songs ect. She leave assemably if that are doing religious things.

Original poster
MrsSnape · 29/10/2008 22:43

I've just posted a bit of an update in parenting he's no angel, I know but I'm really worried he's been given a label as "the bad kid" and its affecting everything he does.

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 29/10/2008 22:46

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Message withdrawn

AbbeyA · 29/10/2008 22:46

I should check very carefully first.
He won't have to pray but, he will have to sit quietly while there are prayers. There will be prayers because the school has to have a daily act of worship and the biggest proportion will have to be Christian.
If you don't want him in while others pray you are allowed to withdraw him.
(This is not the school being difficult-it is the law).

AbbeyA · 29/10/2008 22:48

I predicted that someone would ask why a non religious school has to pray (there hasn't been a thread for a while!).It is not a non religious school, it is a non denominational school.

ewwwmy2shoesarefullofblood · 29/10/2008 22:51

Just read your other thread, can't advise as primary was a long time ago, but your poor son.
give him a hug from me please.

AbbeyA · 29/10/2008 22:52

explains the law

StewieGriffinsMom · 29/10/2008 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SueW · 29/10/2008 23:05

I am not remotely religious but when I happen to find myself in a religious setting e.g. school assembly, harvest festival, carol concert, I bow my head and keep quiet. I'd expect any child in school to do the same.

IME the prayers are really innocuous anyway

'Thank you god for our lovely school and for giving us the chance to make friends'

'Thank you god for the food you give us and the sun and rain which bring the harvest and all the people who work hard to help bring it to our table'

If anyone remotely objects, they only have to think

'I'm really grateful I go to a nice school and I have some friends'

'I'm glad I have food to eat and thank you to the dinner ladies who serve it'.

Or they can think completely differently

'I don't like this school but I have friends outside school and a mum and dad who love me and care about me'.

But it's really just about respecting the others around you who do want to pray.

onager · 29/10/2008 23:20

Yeah as others have said make sure they don't just mean they want him to stand quietly. I'm sure that's most likely.

Of course if they really do mean he must pray then be very very angry - I would!

AbbeyA · 30/10/2008 07:39

I don't know the law in Scotland; but in England and Wales schools are breaking the law if they don't have daily collective worship.
Whether you believe or not, you have to respect others and keep quiet during prayer.

onthewarpath · 30/10/2008 08:56

I would urge you to go and talk to Head teacher. My children also go to a non religious school, they do not take part in whaty they call "churche assembly" and I have always been consulted by teacher regarding RE.
I remember that when they started school, a while ago now, I just had to write a letter asking for my children not to take part. We are allowed to!I read it in school leaflet given before registering them. I do not know if the things have changed now, but nobody in school ever told me so and DCs still do not take part.

We are muslim, There is several muslim in the school who do attend all assemblies because their parents are comfortable with it, I somehow am not. As ridiculous as it might be, regardeless of what is said in the prayers. It is not a case of each to their own but I am a ferm believer that religion is a private matter and has no place in school , unless of course you choose as school for the fact that it has a religion attached to it.

It might be just a case of making sure the Head knows how you feel about it.

cory · 30/10/2008 08:56

If he is standing respectfully with his head bowed, how on earth can they know he is not praying? Do they make the kids say prayers out aloud? If so, you should complain and withdraw him. But if he is simply refusing to respect others' prayers, then it's him you need to speak to.