To think that DS shouldn't get told off for not praying??

[MrsSnape]

Ds is really upset and has told me that he gets into trouble at school if he doesn't pray during assembly! It's not a religious school yet all of the kids (including the muslims etc) are forced into Christian prayer.

DS get's into trouble enough, I'm not happy about this being added on to another reason why he is shouted at at school.

I'm thinking of complaining.
AIBU?

[TinkerBellesMum]

You can't be told off for not praying, unless they're asking each kid to pray out loud which I can't see. I think it's more that he's not sitting quietly during prayer time.

I am a Christian but I hated prayers at school because it goes against my beliefs of it being personal, but I'd just sit there looking like I was praying and wondering how long till we got out.

As AbbeyA said, schools are not none religious they're none denominational which means they have to have some form of worship. If parents really don't want their kids to go to a Christian school then there are alternatives.

Heads bowed and eyes shut is a man made concept, it's only a sign of prayer because you think it is. There's nothing wrong with using the time when others are praying to be quietly thinking about things for yourself and that model is a good way of stopping your concentration wandering.

[childrenofthecornsilk]

I've just read your other thread Mrs Snape. It sounds as if your ds may find it hard to sit still for any length of time. Could they perhaps give him a squeezy ball or some blu tac to keep him occupied in assembly.

[Hulababy]

Could he not use the prayer tme to engage in some quiet meditation of his own - just to spend a few moments thinking about something nice and calm? Would this not be a compromise? Or wthdraw him.

[AbbeyA]

The ones I work in tend to say 'we will think about such and such-if you want to make it your prayer say amen at the end'. If they are not praying they should be having quiet reflection.

[childrenofthecornsilk]

The last school I worked in was non-religious. There was an 'act of worship' in each assembly in that the chn recited the school prayer with heads bowed and hands together. All the chn were required to participate unless their parents had objected to it. Chn who were staring into space or generally not participating would be noticed and would be spoken to.

[halfaquark]

I think, as others have said, there are 2 issues here.

1. a school that insists on all children praying- I would ask the head if this is the case and write to the governors to complain if it is
2. your son's behaviour during prayers- I would clarify what the concerns here are, if any. If they are around your son not participating in prayer (quietly and respectfully!) I would complain vociferously. If the issue is muddied by him being noisy and disruptive I would leave this side of it for the moment.

I would also tell your son what YOU would expect and wish his behaviour to be like during prayers. For example, I would say to my sons- it is up to you if you want to pray. If you don't want to pray you sit quietly until prayers are finished. You do not talk, wriggle or try to make your friends laugh.

[AbbeyA]

I don't for one minute think he is in trouble for not praying-I would guess that he is in trouble for not sitting still while others pray.
Because it is the law to hold collective worship every parent has the right to withdraw their DC from assemblies.

[noonki]

I used to refuse to pray at school. I don't think he should have to bow his head as that is a symbol of prayer.

I do think that he should remain still and quiet as that is respectful.

[nellynaemates]

Stewiegriffin's mum

Actually at my non-denominational primary school in Scotland we had prayers in assembly. I refused to pray but I just sat quietly with my head up and my eyes open instead of joining in with the reverent heads down, eyes closed bit.

No-one said anything, but then they all had their eyes closed so they probably didn't notice

[Hulababy]

How do they know he is not praying? What is he doing during the time the others are praying?

Presumably if this is a non religious state school you could have the option to pull him out of religious aspects of school, such as assembly. I believe this option is available to all children in such schools.

[cory]

If he is standing respectfully with his head bowed, how on earth can they know he is not praying? Do they make the kids say prayers out aloud? If so, you should complain and withdraw him. But if he is simply refusing to respect others' prayers, then it's him you need to speak to.

[onthewarpath]

I would urge you to go and talk to Head teacher. My children also go to a non religious school, they do not take part in whaty they call "churche assembly" and I have always been consulted by teacher regarding RE.
I remember that when they started school, a while ago now, I just had to write a letter asking for my children not to take part. We are allowed to!I read it in school leaflet given before registering them. I do not know if the things have changed now, but nobody in school ever told me so and DCs still do not take part.

We are muslim, There is several muslim in the school who do attend all assemblies because their parents are comfortable with it, I somehow am not. As ridiculous as it might be, regardeless of what is said in the prayers. It is not a case of each to their own but I am a ferm believer that religion is a private matter and has no place in school , unless of course you choose as school for the fact that it has a religion attached to it.

It might be just a case of making sure the Head knows how you feel about it.

[AbbeyA]

I don't know the law in Scotland; but in England and Wales schools are breaking the law if they don't have daily collective worship.
Whether you believe or not, you have to respect others and keep quiet during prayer.

[onager]

Yeah as others have said make sure they don't just mean they want him to stand quietly. I'm sure that's most likely.

Of course if they really do mean he must pray then be very very angry - I would!

[SueW]

I am not remotely religious but when I happen to find myself in a religious setting e.g. school assembly, harvest festival, carol concert, I bow my head and keep quiet. I'd expect any child in school to do the same.

IME the prayers are really innocuous anyway

'Thank you god for our lovely school and for giving us the chance to make friends'

'Thank you god for the food you give us and the sun and rain which bring the harvest and all the people who work hard to help bring it to our table'

If anyone remotely objects, they only have to think

'I'm really grateful I go to a nice school and I have some friends'

'I'm glad I have food to eat and thank you to the dinner ladies who serve it'.

Or they can think completely differently

'I don't like this school but I have friends outside school and a mum and dad who love me and care about me'.

But it's really just about respecting the others around you who do want to pray.

[AbbeyA]

explains the law

[ewwwmy2shoesarefullofblood]

Just read your other thread, can't advise as primary was a long time ago, but your poor son.
give him a hug from me please.

[AbbeyA]

I predicted that someone would ask why a non religious school has to pray (there hasn't been a thread for a while!).It is not a non religious school, it is a non denominational school.

[AbbeyA]

I should check very carefully first.
He won't have to pray but, he will have to sit quietly while there are prayers. There will be prayers because the school has to have a daily act of worship and the biggest proportion will have to be Christian.
If you don't want him in while others pray you are allowed to withdraw him.
(This is not the school being difficult-it is the law).

[MrsSnape]

I've just posted a bit of an update in parenting he's no angel, I know but I'm really worried he's been given a label as "the bad kid" and its affecting everything he does.

[lisad123]

thats terrible, my DD1 never prays at school, never sings christian songs ect. She leave assemably if that are doing religious things.

[Cheesesarnie]

sorry