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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or rather is dh? Visting without a dog is apparently impossible.....que?

74 replies

cluckyagain · 29/10/2008 11:53

Ok - just wanted to check if it's me going mad or is this a tad strange. Short version. Bil has a dog (cute and wouldn't hurt fly but barky and chases cats) and we have a cat (scared stiff of dogs) Bil had conversation with dh re: visiting us (1 1/2 hr journey) and apparently they 'dont leave the dog in the house on her own thank you very much' or words to that effect and said that they would expect to bring her when they visit us. Dh said, no sorry cat would be terrified so not convenient - please can you find a neighbour to walk/visit dog for the day when visit (generally from 12 ish til 6pm) BIL has said 'well we won't be visiting you again then will we' and obviously feels dh is being unreasonable. I am slightly aghast at this - surely the house rules of the house being visited come first? I wouldn;t dream of saying the same if it was the ther way round. They have visited before WITH the dog bit this was before we got the cat (and we were never asked if we minded....)

OP posts:
nailpolish · 29/10/2008 12:17

my friend brought her dog round to mine when my dd1 was little (18mths)

it was the dogs first time in my house

the dog went upstairs and SHAT on my dds little bed

my friend said "oh she hasnt been here before she is marking her territory" then she left me to clean up the shit

ALSO

the dog grabbed a chelsea bun out of dds hand not too long ago when we were visiting her house (dd1 is now 6)

she TOLD OFF my dd for not holding the bun way above her head therefore teasing her dog

WTF??????????????

sorry i have told this story before but it still upsets me

nothing to do with cats though

nailpolish · 29/10/2008 12:19

dh loves dogs though and wants a lab
he gets the dds to ask me constantly

expatinscotland · 29/10/2008 12:19

My idiot ILs insisted on bringing their dog when they visited my BIL. They stayed for 3 days. The cat was terrified and disappeared for a week.

I'd have opened my mouth the second they arrived and that dog wouldn't have crossed the threshold.

My ILs tried it on last week.

They drove through with the dogs, took them out of the car and they came up the porch - off their leads and jumping all over hte place.

I stood at the door until they took the hint and went to walk their dogs, then put them immediately in their car and went to their lodge.

Yeah, I so want your ill-behaved wet pongy dogs in my house jumping all over our landlord's nice furniture (oh, the house is entirely carpeted, too, excepting the kitchen) and ourselves when I'm 38 weeks pregnant.

No, don't think so.

chequersandchess · 29/10/2008 12:19

Sounds like it's your friend that's the problem nailpolish.

Original poster
cluckyagain · 29/10/2008 12:19

wannabe - the cat is only 6 months old so we didn't have it before. The dog is only just over a year so has only been twice too not not really 'always allowed'. The cat has been chased in the house by decorator's dog before (escaped from van) and the cat shot around house pooing - no thanks! Yes, BIL wife said that cat would prob scratch dog too but the only way that would happen is if the cat was cornered, terrified and fighting 'for it's life' - why should it have to?

Swedes - nice thought but we can't afford it and BIL has tonnes of dosh.

OP posts:
scaryfucker · 29/10/2008 12:20

get it off your chest np < pats hand >

see ? there are some weird peeps out there where animals are concerned

Original poster
cluckyagain · 29/10/2008 12:22

This appears to have touched a nerve!!

OP posts:
nailpolish · 29/10/2008 12:23

yes its my friends problem alright
just as its the OP's BIL who has the problem - cluckyagain just tell BIL and thats that. up to him to sort out "childcare" for his dog

(thanks scaryfucker)

expatinscotland · 29/10/2008 12:23

'dh loves dogs though and wants a lab
he gets the dds to ask me constantly '

my DH and DD1 love them, too.

DD1 wants a collie.

not whilst i draw breath on this earth.

yeah, ILs' dogs love to nick food from people - even from their plates on the table, or lick what you've got in your hand.

also to wriggle in behind you on whatever you're sitting, so you'll move and make space for them.

they excuse the one dog's behaviour because she's 'young'. she's 2.

oh, and when they were at the lodge, whenever we went anywhere, they had to put her in the car because she claws doors and chews stuff if she's left alone (they're retired).

just the type of houseguest i want.

expatinscotland · 29/10/2008 12:23

'dh loves dogs though and wants a lab
he gets the dds to ask me constantly '

my DH and DD1 love them, too.

DD1 wants a collie.

not whilst i draw breath on this earth.

yeah, ILs' dogs love to nick food from people - even from their plates on the table, or lick what you've got in your hand.

also to wriggle in behind you on whatever you're sitting, so you'll move and make space for them.

they excuse the one dog's behaviour because she's 'young'. she's 2.

oh, and when they were at the lodge, whenever we went anywhere, they had to put her in the car because she claws doors and chews stuff if she's left alone (they're retired).

just the type of houseguest i want.

ClaireDeLoon · 29/10/2008 12:23

Can't they get a pet sitter for the day to come walk the dog? Do they not work? I think they're being very unreasonable.

nailpolish · 29/10/2008 12:24

i hate the way they lick

Original poster
cluckyagain · 29/10/2008 12:25

Claire - you would think so wouldn't you!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 29/10/2008 12:27

the older dog kept licking DD1 all over her face!

she's a big collie, too, and would jump up on DD1, who at 4ft., 3in. is relatively tall for a 5-year-old, and lick her.

poor DD1 would just squeal.

i was FURIOUS and all they'd so is weakly call out, 'No, no, Sunny.'

i had to bathe both girls everytime we came back from visiting them at the lodge.

and they came over here expecting that i'd have just given birth to a baby, too!

scaryfucker · 29/10/2008 12:28

I have a well-behaved cocker spaniel.

She is well-trained, obedient and knows her place in the family pecking-order is waaaaay down at the bottom (slightly below dh hehehe)

I would not, however, impose her on anyone else who does not already love her.

scaryfucker · 29/10/2008 12:30

I cant stand people who think dogs are on a par with humans.

Its mad.

expatinscotland · 29/10/2008 12:31

a lot of people think it's really cute, scary.

and anyone who doesn't agree is mean.

rislip · 29/10/2008 12:35

I'm so sorry many people hate dogs so much.
I love my dog, he is part of the family, but I wouldn't dream of taking him into someones home if they said no. I always ask in advance if he is welcome. If not we get him walked by the local dog walker, or drop him over to our inlaws who love having him for short visits. Surely BIL can make arrangements for 6 hours! He sounds ridiculous.

scaryfucker · 29/10/2008 12:37

I don't think many people hate dogs rislip.

I think many people are not fussed about em and can't understand how some folk go waaaay over the top.

aGalChangedHerName · 29/10/2008 12:42

I don't have a cat and i don't allow anyone to bring dogs here either.

I see it as being on a par with not allowing people to smoke inside my house tbh. I don't smoke so neither does anyone else.

I don't have a smelly dog so i don't want anyone elses here either.

LittleB · 29/10/2008 12:44

I have a dog but wouldn't take him in other peoples houses unless they are very doggy too. My SIL has a dog and her dad has 2, he came around to visit the other day and she said please don't bring the dogs, as hers had just had an op and wasn't supposed to be running around playing with other dogs etc, but her dad still brought them and her dog was running about playing with them, luckily he was fine, but he should've left hjis dogs in the car or at home - they are fine with either.
Could you compromise with your BIL and suggest an outing out where they can walk the dog and perhaps to a dog friendly pub for lunch?
Or suggest they train their dog so that it is happy to wait in the car?

nailpolish · 29/10/2008 12:46

well if i wwas eating lunch in a pub and someone brought a dog in i would be annoyed
arent places that serve food only allowed guide dogs?

hi agalch!

Original poster
cluckyagain · 29/10/2008 12:48

Little B - good idea - I may suggest that. Rislip - I like dogs, have no problem generally with them although would like to be asked if I mind having them in my house (which before the cat I didn't, as long as the owner had shown some respect/manners and ASKED me...which BIL didn't...that's by the by now though!)

OP posts:
aGalChangedHerName · 29/10/2008 12:50

Hi Naily how are you? It is sooo bloody cold today!!

nailpolish · 29/10/2008 12:53

im ok
yes it is cold isnt it
im glad the schools are back - gives the bairns something to do!