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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off with some of the parents at nursery who have complained about todays halloween theme?

55 replies

mumoverseas · 29/10/2008 07:56

the nursery organised for this morning a craft morning that mums could stay to with the kids making spiders and ghosts etc. Kids were also asked to wear black and bring something black in for 'show and tell'. Its a different colour every week but black today for halloween (last day of nursery til saturday)
Well lots of us mums turned up and joined in the fun/chaos but quite a few didn't come and kept their kids off complaining it shouldn't be allowed as its religious! (we are in middle east!) but its a BRITISH COMPOUND AND A BRITISH NURSERY! We have ramadam rammed down our throats and have to comply with that, we let the kids celebrate eid, divali, hanaka and numerous other religious days out of respect for the other religions and cultures here but then we get criticised for a halloween theme! Am I being unreasonable?????? Time to go home I think!

OP posts:
lulumama · 29/10/2008 07:59

yes you are being unreasonable, they have their religious & cultural sensibilities, and if they feel offended then they have every right to express it...halloween is not a religious festival is it? hardly comparable to ramadam

RubyShivers · 29/10/2008 07:59

"We have Ramadan shoved down our throats"?

If you live in the Middle East then it is a fair assumption that you are in a Muslim country?

misdee · 29/10/2008 08:01

YABU

i dont 'do' halloweeen, and wouldnt want my kids wearing black anyway. they dont own any black clothes. except a pair of socks.

potatofactory · 29/10/2008 08:02

Yes, that phrase is EXTREMELY telling - time to go home, then, as you say.

potatofactory · 29/10/2008 08:03

"We have Ramadan shoved down our throats"?

That phrase, just to be clear!

lulumama · 29/10/2008 08:04

the whole we're british kind of sticks in the craw for some reason...

the Muslim families should not feel obliged to join in with the halloween celebrations, same way my Jewish children are excused from singing christian hymns.. i would be very offended if another parent took issue with me over that, my children go to a christian school, does not mean they are obliged to forget their own heritage

SoupDragon · 29/10/2008 08:05

It was the other mothers who made the "it's religious" comment.

travellingwilbury · 29/10/2008 08:07

Wouldn't bother me either . They didn't stop the halloween theme happening they just didn't want to partake . I think they have been pretty reasonable about it

Original poster
mumoverseas · 29/10/2008 08:10

we do have ramadam shoved down our throats. We are not allowed to eat and drink in public for a month. We are not allowed to practice our own religions and now even the BRITISH school can't do christmas things. the theme today was a lighthearted fun thing for 2 and 3 year olds and it seems very one sided that certain parents wanted it banned but still want us to do the divali/ramadam/eid thing. Surely it should work both ways!
Those of you who 'don't do halloween', that is YOUR choice surely? how would you feel if you had that choice taken away from you?

OP posts:
potatofactory · 29/10/2008 08:13

I am surprised the British school can't do Christmas - but not eating and drinking in public for a month is just the polite norm. I used to live in Istanbul, and it didn't bother me.

wtfhashappened · 29/10/2008 08:13

if they didn't want to join in, why should they? I don't celebrate Halloween either, and get really annoyed with people who think that everyone should - it is not compulsory!

wtfhashappened · 29/10/2008 08:14

but your choice wasn't taken away from you - you are just complaining about the mums who complained.....

potatofactory · 29/10/2008 08:14

You don't sound like you are enjoying it there in general.

Original poster
mumoverseas · 29/10/2008 08:17

I'm fine with the ramadam rules, we are in their country and respect that but surely in our own compound, we should be allowed to celebrate however we want? Its not that they didn't want to join in,they wanted it stopped. I just feel it should work both ways. I reiterate, yes, we are in a muslim country but it is a BRITISH compound with no locals living on it. Of course there are a few muslims, hindus, etc here but we never complain and try to stop their religious ceremonies etc. Just a shame for the kids as it was spoilt this morning by quite a few parents protesting at the nursery. They are 2 year olds for gods sake (if I'm allowed to say that!)I agree wtfhashappend, it is not compulsory,but surely we should be allowed to celebrate if it WE choose to?

OP posts:
wtfhashappened · 29/10/2008 08:18

but you were allowed to - you just had a few dissenting voices - and surely people are allowed to do that?

potatofactory · 29/10/2008 08:18

protesting??? With placards??? What do you mean?

SmugColditz · 29/10/2008 08:21

You are in a muslim country and many muslim countries, like christian ones, are not known for tolerence. Like or lump.

lucysmum · 29/10/2008 08:24

a lot of christians in UK don't like Halloween and don't let their children take part. it is not a religious festival as far as i know, it is about witches and ghosts. YABU.

escape · 29/10/2008 08:25

where are you?
we are in Dubai, and DS1 nursery isn't making any concession to Halloween - BUT it is a fancy Dress party tomorrow! so I guess it is.
Most kids there seem to be arab.

noonki · 29/10/2008 08:25

Mumoverseas - though I don't like your tone I agree with you in principle.

Turn the tables. If this was someone in the UK complaining because nursery was doing a cultural event. I would be upset.

theSuburbanDryad · 29/10/2008 08:25

Hmm - I don't know. Ds' nursery has been celebrating Diwali this week (we are in the UK) and I suppose the equivalent would be for me to say, "Oohh no - I don't want him to be taking part in other religious activities at all."

Which would be reasonable and fair IMO. What wouldn't be reasonable and fair would be for me to stop the other children from celebrating Diwali!

theSuburbanDryad · 29/10/2008 08:29

Weeeellll....Hallowe'en has come from All Hallows Eve, which has come from All Saints Day (briefly and in a bit of an inaccurate nutshell!) which of course is a Christian celebration.

And I know a fair few Wiccans and Pagans who wouldn't be happy about Samhain being called "unreligious"!

Libra1975 · 29/10/2008 08:30

I think it's bizarre that mums want to stop their children from attending nursery because Halloween, which hasn't had any religious connatations for a very long time, is the theme (I don't think making spiders and witches is celebrating it!).
If they are actually trying to ban it I would say YANBU and you would think that foreigners that lived in such an intolerant country would be a little more tolerant themselves.

tissy · 29/10/2008 08:33

Hallowe'en is NOT a religious festival. All Hallows Eve was day before All Hallows or All Saints day, when the departed were remembered. I believe its roots go back to Samhain, a Celtic festival.

The whole pumpkins/ spooks/ trick or treating thing is pretty recent, and has turned a day of remembrance into a day for extorting sweets/ money out of people.

As for tiny kids wearing black....yuck.

I would be upset about not being "allowed" to celebrate Christmas, tbh, although, I'm sure you'd be allowed to do that within the confines of your own home.

YABU

needmorecoffee · 29/10/2008 08:33

Halloween was stopped at my kids school (in the UK) because one Jehovah Witness parent complained.

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