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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to ignore namechangers who speak to me as if they "know" me, but are not saying who they are?

118 replies

QuintessentialShadows · 27/10/2008 12:18

So many has left.
So many has changed their names.
So many talk to me as if they "know" me.

I cant just ignore the familiarity in posting, yet I cant just guess who they are.

It is irritating. I cant just wipe knowledge of posters out of my head and chat to everybody like I have never spoken to them before.

I dont like this at all.

I suspect I am unreasonable. I just want to voice my opinion.

I liked it the way it was. I liked to "know" some posters. I dont like that posters "know" me and I dont know them. Like it is now.

Maybe it really is time to leave, as I am a stuck up miserable old cow who embraces change, but not as much as I thought I did.

OP posts:
LostProphet · 27/10/2008 18:20

"Real" name now on profile.

brokenrecord · 27/10/2008 18:20

Have seen a thread where someone who was a regular was outed in a horrible way in RL and amidst the messages of shock and support plenty of other people were saying 'well what did you expect posting on an internet forum - it's up to you to protect yourself...'

I think people should be able to namechange at will if they want to keep up the illusion of 'chatting with friends' on mumsnet. And i can see why you might find it uncomfortable to be spoken to by soomeone that has talked to previously you in another guise, but IMO personal privacy is more important online.

Original poster
QuintessentialShadows · 27/10/2008 19:08

I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER!
THANK YOU!

LostProphet, I recognised the photo when I looked at the profile earlier and was wrecking my brains, I just could not put two and two together.

Exasperatedmummy, of course I know you LEM. I have posted on many of your threads and felt great sympathy for you. I have been wondering where you went, and if you are ok.

See, it is all coming into place now.

OP posts:
Original poster
QuintessentialShadows · 27/10/2008 19:11

I see where you are coming from brokenrecord, and I agree with privacy. But I am not asking for anybodys real life names, just to feel a little reassured that all those strangers that suddenly have replaced familiar names, are in fact familiar faces and not aliens from mars with green ears and turqouise silk scarfs.

OP posts:
PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 27/10/2008 19:14

I name change occasionally. normally in keeping with some of flames name (ie, HarryAndRon/RonAndHarry & FredAndGeorge/GeorgeAndFred).

other times I name change tho and keep 'psycho' in my name in some way. but I will tell anyone who asks, or out myself regularly.

altho, that said, I have been told by several that I am far too obvious and could not 'hide' to save my life

Habbibu · 27/10/2008 19:17
differentWitch · 27/10/2008 19:22

I will admit that I have a habit treating everyone like they're friends. In RL too. That's just me, but if it does annoy you, can you let me know?

differentWitch · 27/10/2008 19:26

I name changed once, because my original name is linked to something else which my friends know about and I didn't want to be tracked. I'm normally (now) differentID, but with my hallowe'en costume on. I have a name registered for Guy Fawkes night and my Xmas names are sorted.

ranting · 27/10/2008 19:36

Yes I sort of get what you mean, I can't be bothered to namechange, no fecker knows who I am anyway (apart from the crafty girls) and it's hard enough to get recognised as it is without starting over again.

As I've been AWOL for a bit (with the odd popping in to see what's been going on), could somebody be kind enough to tell me what has been going on?

I know about Codgate but has everyone else upped and left too.

And Kewc, you really are NOT a newbie.

Bumperlicious · 27/10/2008 19:43

I rarely name change, 'cept for special occasions but people still don't recognise me - waaahhh!

GColdtimer · 27/10/2008 19:52

I have never name change (polishes halo ) and I have to say, the constant namechanging makes me feel like a newbie - I just can't keep up.

I do know where you are coming from QS but likes someone else said, because I recognise you, I might post in a somewhat familiar way because of that. Its a tricky one.

And exhasperatedmummy, I never thought you were an arse as LUM. You posted a lovely message on one of my threads once when I was talking about a bereavement. I hope you are OK.

twinsetandpearls · 27/10/2008 20:10

Thanks boysarelikezombies I will wear it with pride.

brokenrecord · 27/10/2008 20:28

differentWitch.

It doesn't offend me, but I was very offended by some of the comments on the thread I mentioned, and it made me very wary of getting too relaxed on here. It wasn't that someone outed someone maliciously, it was the kind of 'Oh well, more fool you for not covering your back' comments from a lot of posters - including quite a few 'regulars'.

QS, I know you are not suggetsing posting real names, but how would someone who wanted to make a complete break tell you their old name without setting a trail back to their preious posts?

Original poster
QuintessentialShadows · 27/10/2008 20:49

If you want a complete break you either:
a) Stop posting
b) make a fresh start with a new name and not make out that you are an oldie and well known
c) not hint and/or get people engaged in guessing

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 27/10/2008 20:52

"And Kewc, you really are NOT a newbie" April 2006 so not really an oldbie either!

Am I a Tweenie?

ranting · 27/10/2008 20:57

Ah but you are part of 'the Establishment' Kew.

Do I get points for knowing Bumper?

ElviraInanEcup · 27/10/2008 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Habbibu · 27/10/2008 22:32

Oh, I'd forgotten that! Am v. glad it's working out.

TheYearOfTheCat · 27/10/2008 22:39

Hi Quint [waves, with irritating familiarity]

Kew, I thought of you the other day, as I saw a BMW with 'KEW' in the number plate.

I had to namechange recently as I had been a bit too honest in some posts - I think it is creepy that other posters can look at all your previous posts by searching under your name and then cast up.

I wasn't well known, but I still grieve my former identity.

Kewcumber · 27/10/2008 22:42

oh yes that must have been one of my cars

Original poster
QuintessentialShadows · 27/10/2008 22:42

snuff

OP posts:
FrankAwenstein · 27/10/2008 22:53

isnt me is it? i only put on halloween outfit

zazen · 27/10/2008 23:10

Hello everyone!

I went through a phase of trying to see who was behind all the names and trying to put a story for each poster - on the basis of previous posts, BUT

I am not in the Uk anymore, and realistically won't be meeting up anyone I've posted with here, and so I've stopped trying to remember who's who, and just post without the community feeling.
It's not as 'rich' an experience, and I see all the one hit wonders who post aggressive seagull style and wish there was a way to track everyone's names - a list of previous incarnations so that a very aggressive poster could be warned or banned.

It's very confusing for me to see a new name and then to read that they say they're an oldie, as I don't recognise the name. I so understand the familiarity of posts from someone with a new name can be quite rude - like someone coming up to you at a party wearing a mask and asking how your fanjo is today then... er... hello!

I have to admit I've never changed my name (I don't know how actually ) and I know I'll never remember another password / username combo, also I don't see the point, as I'm not here realistically to meet up with any posters, and I'm generally honest IRL so I have nothing to hide. I've not made a profile page and uploaded photos as I don't want to. I hate it when I find photos of my DD on friend's facebook pages or anything like that. I'm not on facebook, and hate to see my DD on anyone's pages, even if they only have limited viewing.

FWIW nobody has ever 'recognised' me as a poster - old or new, but then maybe I don't post enough!

I've been noticing though recently that a lot of the threads seem to be started by lazy Journos at the moment, who are using MN as a research resource, trawling for copy, and I feel that we're being manipulated by the media to fill column inches. This really hacks me off (pardon the pun) as it shows lack of respect for the valuable resource MN is for the MUMS who post here.

Sorry for the long rant and thanks QC for the thread - it is interesting to see how other posters feel about the changes in MN over the last few months, post trolls, post cod and after all the articles in the Times and various women's mags quoting MN verbatim.

I feel Mn has changed also; for the worse in some respects. I mow take all posters at face value, and say Hi to all!

brokenrecord · 28/10/2008 08:58

Not disputing whether you are honest or not in RL - the point is that do you really want to tell the world everything about yourself? It's not dissimilar to not wanting anyone and everyone to see your family pictures - some people don't mind and others do... and others don't even realise that they may not always be anonymous on here and get a big shock...

Flightattendant4 · 28/10/2008 09:01

When are we having another name auction? I want flightattendant back

I've changed a lot though. Sometimes to defend myself on my own threads

I'm sure that would never annoy anyone though?