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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to want my dd to have sweets

68 replies

ilovemyflipflops · 26/10/2008 10:24

Am i alone here. She is two next week and i have never given her anything like sweets, cakes, crisps.. I think i'm the only mum with a toddler her age who doesn't give her child these type of snacks. Why do i feel mean when really they aren't 'treats' as they aren't good for anyone. When around other peoples houses i feel like i keep having to say, she doesn't eat that, really don't want to give her a sweet tooth so young.. She really enjoys fruit and healthy snacks, to her they are her treats so why do i feel like other people think i'm an old meany...

Surely theres absolutely no point giving a baby/toddler, that doesn't know what something is, sugary stuff? I've always believed in the saying, can't miss what you've never had.

OP posts:

FimboGotAxed · 26/10/2008 10:26

Well done.

suzywong · 26/10/2008 10:26

YABU

if she has them at others' houses you can make sure she cleans her teeth as soon as she gets home

They may be no nutrional point in sweets but they are part of the point of being a kid

crankycrane · 26/10/2008 10:27

I admire you...I wish I could have ruled out sweets and crap

SqueakyPop · 26/10/2008 10:30

You're her mum and you have to do what you think is right. This is not a case of being reasonable/unreasonable.

WorzselMummage · 26/10/2008 10:31

No yanbu, your child, your rules.

DD's almost 4 and she's only just started having those bloody horrid harribo sweets now and she's almost 4, cant understand why anyone gives them a lot, or lollipops !

She's always had crisps and chocolate though and she still manages to eat some all of her veg and most all of her fruit.

Dont think anything does any harm occasionally though

WorzselMummage · 26/10/2008 10:31

No yanbu, your child, your rules.

DD's almost 4 and she's only just started having those bloody horrid harribo sweets now and she's almost 4, cant understand why anyone gives them a lot, or lollipops !

She's always had crisps and chocolate though and she still manages to eat some all of her veg and most all of her fruit.

Dont think anything does any harm occasionally though

DippyDora · 26/10/2008 10:33

dd doesnt eat any cake, biscuits or crisps at home but at other peoples houses she does. I let it go, its only a litle bit after all

exasperatedmummy · 26/10/2008 11:16

YABU if you expect her to go through life with no sweets. Sweets are part and parcel of childhood, yes, too MANY sweets are a bad thing. But the occasional treat is not going to do any permanent damage. Its all about finding a happy medium really.

exasperatedmummy · 26/10/2008 11:17

ah now, haribo, thats a different thing altogether, but luckily for me, my DD hates them

wheresthehamster · 26/10/2008 11:42

A total ban is unworkable as they get older.

The children who stuff handfuls of chocolate fingers at parties are those 'deprived' at home. You will be SO embarrassed

Twelvelegs · 26/10/2008 11:46

Sweets weren't part of my childhood, I couldn't give the same to my children I'm afraid...it makes them far too attractive. Balance is good, but at two it's not unreasonable.....

pointygravedogger · 26/10/2008 11:47

You can do whatever you want, of course.

At som epoint your dd will be very aware of all these forbidden snacks and it will become more difficult to control what she eats and control her emotions over being denied tasty treats.

lisad123 · 26/10/2008 11:49

i was the same with dd1, and its hard now because now shes older she always wants sweets but still eats her veggies and fruit. She us a bit of a fruit bat tbh. I know why you do it, good luck

RubyShivers · 26/10/2008 11:50

i believe in everything in moderation for children and adults and nothing is forbidden

the occasional sweet or chocolate is fine IMO

i don't think YABU but unrealistic in the long term

MrsMattie · 26/10/2008 11:54

I think you're right to not automatically give your baby/toddler sugary foods. I didn't give my son sweets / biscuits etc when he was that age, either. I never understod why so many 18 mth olds at my son's old toddler group were on a seemingly endless diet of orange squash and biscuits (but then, my son is/was my PFB, so it was water and rice cakes all the way back in those days...).

Eventually, though, they get a little bit older, go to nursery/school / friend's houses / parties etc and for me, it seemed mean and a bit odd to outright 'ban' him from having a treat. Who wants to be the kid who's not allowed cake and 'pop' at a party?

He is now 3.8 yrs old and has treats now and then. I let him blow out on crappy stuff at parties - say what you like but it is part of the fun. His main diet is healthy and largely sugar/additive free, so I don't see the big deal.

No point creating food issues where there don't need to be any.

Tee2072 · 26/10/2008 11:54

I wouldn't say YABU, but I would agree that you are being unrealistic. At some point she will be out of your site, she will be given sweets, and she will probably go nuts on them since she's never had them. Better to give her a few now.

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 26/10/2008 11:57

poor child..but seriously, it's your decision - just be careful you don't make sweets etc into something she craves out of all proportion because she isn't allowed them...an occassional treat and good dental hygiene and I can see no harm.

TeenyTinyTorya · 26/10/2008 12:22

YANBU. I feel stupid at toddler group because I don't want ds to have squash that's full of sweetners, or Petit Filous, or biscuits. But I'm determined to stick to my principles and not give in just because people think I'm being PFB.

DS does have a little piece of chocolate or cake occasionally, but like your dd he sees raspberries and blueberries as a treat. He is 19mths btw.

findtheriver · 26/10/2008 12:27

Agree with pointy. You set the rules - it's your child. But be aware that with any rule which is administered in an extreme form, there is a danger that the child won't get things in perspective as they get older.

My dd had a friend who was never allowed sweet stuff at home - when she was older she was the one who bought fizzy drinks and cheap sweets by the dozen. Likewise, some friends of ours who were really strict about boyfriends/parties etc were totally gobsmacked when their daughter turned 16 and started staying out all night.

I think children need rules and boundaries but also need to be aware of how to make sensible choices.

foxinsocks · 26/10/2008 12:29

sound like you are showing off imvho

elsiepiddock · 26/10/2008 12:31

My dcs are 10 and 6 and we have never given them sweets. Obviously, they're a bit older now and I couldn't stop them from eating them at parties etc but neither of them do -they're just not interested. Thet have tried them and hated them (hooray!).

If they ever get given Haribo bags they throw them in the bin.

They both like a bit of chocolate though and have some maybe once a week max, but they're not that fussed.

So, from my experience, it's not unrealistic or unreasonable to not give them sweets. It doesn't result in them wanting to gorge crap as soon as they're out of sight. I haven't been a Food Nazi about it but nor have I actively encouraged them to eat shite.

My ds1 is one of just 2 kids in his class of 30 who has no fillings!!

TeenyTinyTorya · 26/10/2008 12:34

I had no fillings until I got pregnant at 20. Iron liquid put paid to my good teeth! That was down to my parents severely restricting sweets though.

FAQ · 26/10/2008 12:38

"My ds1 is one of just 2 kids in his class of 30 who has no fillings!! "

whoopee doo - I had 4 fillings by the age of 7, I never had sweets at home, biscuits and crisps were home made (and plain), and never drank fizzy drinks or squash......

Once I hit my teens I gorged on sweets, crisps, chocolate, fizzy drinks etc. I'm sure it was because I'd not had them on odd occasions as I child. I still often "binge" on them now at 29!!

exH on the other hand grew up on a diet of fizzy drinks (cheapest thing to buy in the country he grew up in) and sweets - and has still has perfect teeth

OP - there is no such thing (imo) as bad food. Everything in moderation I think.

NannyNanny · 26/10/2008 12:42

It gets harder to restrict once there are more children. If they see older siblings having something then they want it to

elsiepiddock · 26/10/2008 12:43

Ah but FAQ - you're unlucky, you're dh lucky.

It's not the norm to have perfect teeth if you eat and drink loads of sugar.

I agree with most things in moderation, but 'no such thing as crap'!! Surely things like Haribo are nothing but crap?

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