Not to want my dd to have sweets

[ilovemyflipflops]

Am i alone here. She is two next week and i have never given her anything like sweets, cakes, crisps.. I think i'm the only mum with a toddler her age who doesn't give her child these type of snacks. Why do i feel mean when really they aren't 'treats' as they aren't good for anyone. When around other peoples houses i feel like i keep having to say, she doesn't eat that, really don't want to give her a sweet tooth so young.. She really enjoys fruit and healthy snacks, to her they are her treats so why do i feel like other people think i'm an old meany...

Surely theres absolutely no point giving a baby/toddler, that doesn't know what something is, sugary stuff? I've always believed in the saying, can't miss what you've never had.

Ilovemyflipflops, Good for you!!! and your LO.
When I was on Okinawa for 3 years my son (at the time was 2) was about to turn 5 when we came back to the states.
On the island the only really sweet food we had was this wonderful seaweed cake that was slightly sweetened with honey. Lots of fruits and veggies but no candy. Not a bit.
When we got back the first thing my sister did was hand him a candy bar and he just looked at it.
She shrieked, "don't tell me he doesn't know what a candy bar is?" like I had commited some outrageous act punishable by death.
Sugar doesn't only ruin teeth but it ruins your health. Have you ever read the labels on foods? If the first or second ingredient is salt or sugar you know you are buying the wrong thing.
You don't need candy or salt on the table...you get over the normal daily just by eating processed stuff.
YANBU

Moderation in (almost) all things is probably quite a good maxim, I feel. I didn't let my daughter have anything with sugar in/ anything processed for the first couple of years, but then I felt I was doing her a disservice and she needed to have a more "realistic" diet. Unless you only hang out with vegans and raw foodists, there will come a time when your child is in a social situation with all sorts of "junk" party food on offer. I wanted to educate my children to enjoy small amounts of these kinds of food whilst balancing it with a good healthy diet the rest of the time. My 10 year old self-regulates pretty well these days and even the 3 year old does OK.

NotBigNotClever, I'm in heavy envy. My 10 year old will have a piece of candy but will trade it readily for raw carrots or broccoli.
My twelve year, on the other hand, would live off sugar if we would let her. She has no self control with it whatsoever. She would eat herself sick (and has) when at a party out of supervision).
Only thing to do is try to regulate it for her. With the holidays coming we have to post double guard.

Oh come on, I would gladly swap a few fillings for the joy, the absolute pleasure of eating chocolate, cakes and biscuits.
fair exchange, I say. you are a long time dead and life is too too short to live joylessly. eat fun things! play dangerous sports! drink wine! stay up late! have sex with unsuitable people!
not yet, obviously.

I'm not going to stop her from having them forever, that wasn't what i was saying, i just think theres no point until she actually asks for them/takes an interest. I was just wondering if anyone did/has done the same as i feel very alone not giving her these things, glad some of you have done the same feel less like a fruitloop now. At the moment i really don't think it's depriving her, as time goes on i fully intend to let her have things in moderation.

i don't let my dd who's nearly 4 have sweets.she has a small packet of choc buttons once a week but tbh would rather eat fruit then sugary snacks.she doesn't eat crisps either.she has tried crisps but doesn't like them.i don't feel mean about it if she'd rather eat fruit then i'm going to stick with it.

I agree. She may not like it when she does try candy.
My oldest, the one that didn't have candy until age 5 still doesn't like candy much. He will have an occasional mint (detests chocolate) and isn't even pleased with honey (not even in tea).
So maybe it is up to the individual?
Along the dentistry line. I worked for a dentist (wasn't very long and it was long ago) and he said that the decay isn't so much what a person eats (that has some to do with it) but if they take care of their teeth and what the acidity of their saliva is.
Some people have very acidic saliva and even with dutiful brushing/flossing will get caviites and others with very low acidity can chomp on sugar all day and not ever get a cavity.
However, the latter is prone to gum disease and can have perfectly good teeth fall out.

Its just chocolate!! Would dark chocolate be more preferable as it can contain benefits to your heart? And squash? no its not the holy grail but come on how many kids can you see in 20years walking into a shop reliving eating rice cakes and water (boiled first?) while their friends had the odd treat. Would like to point out that I am a big fan of the rice cake but of chocolate as well. Life has little pleasures lets enjoy them.

all food is fuel and should be used as such therefore you abu
The is better fuel and worse fuel but it still all boils down to fuel

The tooth thing can have to do more with decent dental hygiene, depth of fissures and rate of decay which obviously varies from child to child

I did not allow my dd any sort of juice until she was about 2 then she sussed and started asking for it

Best of british luck that it lasts much longer

You are so NOT being unreasonable. Sometimes I think I'm the only one in the world to not want to give my children a sweet tooth etc. Why do people want to introduce these foods to their kids when they don't at that age know what they're missing I just don't understand. Its the early years when their taste buds are forming and I see it as my responsibility to teach them healthy eating patterns. I know that you can't keep them away from it forever but I just don't see it as my job to introduce them to it. However although my mil knows my views she has always seen it as her sole purpose and mission in life to give ds1 (and ds2 eventually) all these things epecially homemade puddings and cakes etc etc. Mentioned this on mn a few months and I was basically shot down in flames told I was a misery and that I was unreasonable etc and I should let mil be granny. I was accused of being controling even a trol

NOgirlsallowed, I know exactly how you feel. This though is how my mother did it. We had to eat our vegetables but the grandchildren can have dessert if they haven't finished. When I protest everyone (except me) shouts, "Grandma's rule!!!" You can't win. Even when on their side. Just wait till I'm Grandma. (evil grin)

totally agree ilovemyflipflops - atm she doesn't know to ask for sweets so I think it is great that you don't offer them. As she gets older she will have them at parties etc but I don't see any reason why you should offer a baby/toddler crisps/sweets/fizzy drinks when they don't even know they exist!

My 3 year old has sweets at parties/ice-cream on days out etc, but I HATE it when people give my 10month old sugary biscuits and cakes when he would be just as happy with a banana.

Do you have any 'treats' or do you get excited by fruit and healthy snacks alone???!
Experiencing and enjoying a variety of food is one of the joys of life. What's wrong with cake now and again, partic if you make your own and know what's going into it?
I think you are BVU to deprive her. But there again, she's your child. I do feel sorry for her, though.

Just to add, I am talking about chocolate and cakes because in moderation I think they are fine. I would never give my toddler fizzy, crappy sweets or drinks, though.

A pet topic of mine
We had a lot of time from a very good nutritionist when our daughter was young, because she was having a lot of problems with weight gain and eating.

I was completely shocked by some of the things she said at the time, but she was right. She was adamant (sp?) that if you restrict or ban certain foods, or use them as a treat, they will just become more desirable.

Our daughter has had pretty much free access to snacks in between meals, she can pick from fruit, savoury stuff such as cheese, chocolate, biscuits, whatever. She doesn't see one as preferable to the other. When she is with other kids they will literally scoff any chocolate or biscuits they have been given, wheras my daughter treats it just the same as any other food on offer.

The benfit of this appraoch is that she gets the extra calories now while she needs them, but when she is older she won't be eating this stuff to excess. She has already got bored of biscuits and I have stopped buying them recently as they just stay in the cupboard uneaten.

The only food I don't buy is crisps (also recommended by the nutritionist) because I worry about the salt content. Perhaps not surprisingly this is the food she does go for when at a party etc, and if they are out on a table at a party or something I don't restrict how many she has.

I do understand why people ban sweets, chocolate etc, I was always going to be the same, but we have really benefited from the advice we were given and am glad we had that help.

Mine dcs are 11,17 and 20 and none of them have any fillings. I never actively encouraged them to eat sweets when they were younger but neither did I have a breakdown if someone gave them a chocolate button.
I agree with CookieMonster2 about making foods desirable. When they are young and know no different if it bothers you then it's up to you if you want to ban certain foods. But it is invaluable to teach them about making healthy and balanced choices as well. There will come a day when you have no control over what they eat and all those things you didn't want them to eat will become 100% more attractive just because you banned them!! I have enough battles with my teenagers without having to battle with them about food.

Have allowed both mine treats from an early age and are both happy healthy and ideal weights for there heights. Can see nothing wrong in it personaly. Last night dd gave me her chocolate in exchange for the fruit I was eatting!