to send daughter to grandma's as a punishment??

[silvercrown]

Basically have 3 girls and the middle one is being a real pain at the moment - she's verbally nasty to her little sister who worships her and she has also been swearing alot and always in a strop over one thing or another. We live fairly close to hubby's family and I have suggested to him that we send middle daughter to his mum's for the week (half term) as I just want her out of my face for the time being as I am likely to really lose my temper with her if her attitude doesn't get any better. Hubby thinks I'm being unreasonable - not about her behaviour but that I should consider making his mum suffer her. I said that I thought it was a good idea because his mum will be strict with her and she'll be away from her sisters - the eldest who also doesn't get along with the youngest child and so when the two of them get together being horrible to her it is really awful. Also middle child doesn't really like staying with this grandma so it removes her from a potentially explosive situation over half term, gives her time away from her sistsers which she may appreciate a little more when she returns and it wouldn't be a treat for her - in the past I've sent the eldest to hubby's mum because of the relationship with her youngest sister but as she has a great relationship with grandma it's been a treat for her. I know that if I sent eldest daughter again then middle daughter will probably be nice to her little sister again as she'll want a playmate but I really think she needs a time out and with her out of the way force the other two to get along. So am I being unreasonable to want to do this or should I just keep shouting at her all half term??

Now Grandma may of course be an absolutely horrible person. But you know, I do feel a bit sorry for her. Using somebody as a scarecrow is really rather...manipulative.

I do understand that you need a break, but try to think of a more positive way.

Does Granny know she is considered as punishment? It sounds like you have your hands full. You need to do the discipline yourself cos sending her to Grans will only solve the problem for the week she is at your MILs, she will be a nightmare once she arrives home again.
Punish her yourself by taking her favorite toy off her for a few days for example and follow through with it. Don't give up once she gets that you are serious with the punishment I am sure she will start to have respect for you. Although I am sure it will be easier said than done.
If all else fails you could call supernanny! (only kidding)

You said she's only started to behave badly in the last 2 weeks. So what happened 2 weeks ago?

Another sanction - tell her she's not allowed out with her friends if she plays up.

It seems to me as if DD2 needs extra time with someone, on her own. Some special attention would probably do wonders.

I agree abbeya

Haven't read the whole thread, but not sure using gran as a punishment (or for the whole week) is a good idea, although I sympathise with why you would want to.

I know it's a lot more difficult, but could you arrange a few different things (going to friends houses, holiday clubs, day out with relatives etc), over half term so you get the oppportunity to spend some time with your girls individually, or in pairs that do get on. Perhaps the one-to-one attention would give them the opportunity to open up about why they are having problems getting along?

at even idea of it.my ds1 is bloody hard work too but going to grandparents is a treat for all involved.you sound like you have a very negative attitude towards your dd2.