to get annoyed at hospital "policy"

[RedOnHerBeheadedHead]

OK, so a few weeks ago I had a Loop Biopsy to take abnormal cells from the cervix. Last wednesday it got infected so they put me on antibiotics. Then the day before yesterday I started bleeding BADLY with HUGE clots. The Hospital (Royal Gwent) wanted to keep me in overnight but I am exclusively breastfeeding my 5mth old baby.

I got very upset and was told first that he could stay with me, then when it was checked with the ward Sister, it turns out that their policy on Breastfed babies is that they are allowed to stay with a mother up to the age of 3mths. So they wouldn't let him stay with me.

My options were as follows:

1. Express while there and get DH to feed him with a bottle (he has never had a bottle)
2. DH could fetch him in when he needed feeding (We live 30mins away if traffic is good)
3. Discharge myself against their advice

1. - Like I said, DS has never had a bottle so for me to firstly be away from him and for him to be fed from a bottle (which I had no idea if he would take it or not), would be such a shock to him, and I just wasn't willing to do that.
2. - We have a 3.10yr old DS1 so for DH to get DS2 to the hospital for a feed would take nearly 2hours when you take into account getting both DC's ready, childcare for DS1 (if available) driving to the hospital, and finding a parking space. There's no way i could have done this to my baby.

So, I ended up discharging myself, against their advice, signing a disclaimer, purely because they would not make an allowance for my exclusively breastfed baby. I didn't wan't to sign myself out - I didn't wan't to go against their advice, but I had to make sure my baby would be fed.

What, logistically, is the difference between an exclusively breastfed 3mth old (which they were willing to accommodate) and an exclusively breastfed 5mth old????

ESPECIALLY WHEN THEIR POLICY IS TO GIVE INFORMATION TO MOTHER'S TO EXCLUSIVELY BREASTFEED FOR 6 MONTHS!!!!!!

I am seeking the advice of my Breastfeeding group HV. I am planning on making a complaint to the hospital, and even thinking of going to the press.
So AIBU to be more than slightly annoyed ?

YANBU

Shocking

Hope you get well soon

no you aren'tb eing unreasonable at all.
i would complain, a lot

this is a classic sign of non-joined-up-thinking - shocking. I should complain wherever you can

Make it clear you weren't discharging yourself against medical advice but because the hospital couldn't provide the care you & your bf baby need.

Contact your local paper

Go to your local paper. Would be disgusted if this happened to my 7month fully weaned breastfed baby never mind a little 5month old.

How infuriating.

I tried him with a bottle of EBM this morning, but as i thought, he wouldn't take it. He got so frustrated and upset. DH is going to try tomorrow with me in another room. It's not that I wan't him to take milk from a bottle, but I am so scared that if this comes back I will have to go in to hospital again and at least I will know that he will take EBM if he needs to.

I didn't think I was being unreasonable, but I thought I ought to see what the general concensus was before I made any complaints and possibly make an arse of myself.

am going to post this in the breastfeeding section to see if others have had similar experiences...

my ds wouldnt take bottle at all until i tried him with a nuk one, what bottles are you using?

YANBU.

Hopefully your complaint will make them reconsider their policy.

No YANBU

YANBU. Definitely complain.

YANBU,

This is appalling.

However, is the reason to do with worry about the child catching an infection? I had problems when my mother was dying in hospital. My baby was 4 months old and they wouldn't let me take her on the ward to see my mother as they were concerned about infections. It was really difficult as I had no child care and I had to sit outside the hospital until one of the nurses was on a break and then she would look after the baby whilst I went in.

YANBU The Royal Gwent sucks.
Go to the papers.

Monkey - I'm just hoping that my complaint won't make them stop accepting breastfed babies altogether. It's such a stupid policy!

Mum2oliver - they are Tommee Tippee closer to nature ones (I had the bottles with the steriliser when we bought that - i just bought the right teats for his age yesterday)

If you really must give him EBM why not try it with a sippy cup rather than a bottle.

I would be absolutly fuming that I couldn't have my baby with me. Do they have a maternity unit? Could they not accomodate you there?

All the best with it all and hope you are feeling better soon.

if you are worried that you might need to go in and not be able to breastfeed i can send you a nuk bottle, you will just need to get a right sized teat, the latex one i found to work the best but prob not if you have latex allergy in the family.

we tried every bottle around that we could find and my ds was ahving none of it, until he tried the wideneck nuk bottle, then after that he wasnt fussy.

i can send one to you just incase if you like?

No SmileyMylee - they couldn't give me any other reason except "policy" - I kept asking them what was the difference between a 3mth and 5mth old, but they couldn't give me anything else other than "policy" . The Gynaecologist on call that night said if it was up to her she would have let him stay.

MrsGokWan - yes they do have a maternity unit - I didn't ask about that though. I'm sure they would have let me know if I could.

I second the NUK bottles for EBM. My DD wouldn't take a bottle until I tried them - they even look more like a nipple IYKSWIM. Other than that a cup might be easier.

Hope you get this sorted (or and FWIW I think the Royal Gwent is pants too)

YANBU

Outrageous!

Absolutely outrageous.

My exclusively bf ds finally agreed to take a bottle (with EBM) when we enlarged the hole in the nipple with a thick darning needle....It wasn't coming out fast enough for him!!!

YANBU - this is utterly ridiculous. They could have given you a side room and provided you with a cot. Job done. Sounds like someone over interpreting the rules.

Thats terrible. YANBU.

All hospitals are trying to get or have Baby Friendly Status. This means the maternity dept have to jump through hooops to show how b/f friendly they are. But I wonder what UNICEF, who gives out the Baby Friendly status, would make of this? I'd have thought it would damage their status. Like you say babies are recommended to be b/f till 6 months - so if the hospital is not allowing you to do that then it ain't Baby Friendly at all.

I had a similar experience, my exclusively breastfed baby was seperated from me for a week at 4 months and a week at 6 months.

In my case I had no choice and it nearly killed me. First time I was bright yellow with red wee and in a lot of pain. Turned out I was on the verge of organ failure due to gall stone blockage.
Second time another emergency admission due to gall bladder pain (ended up with an operation that time)I was in terrible pain due to the gall stones and needed to wait for an emergency operation and for pain relief (i.e. Morphine)

I begged PALS to help me keep my baby with me and asked to be allowed to stay on the maternity ward with my daughter but no go. I had to stay in hospitial due to the excessive amount of pain and I was tols just to put her on a bottle (and yes our hospital IS Baby Friendly)

They did give me a hospital private side room, told me it was dangerous for a baby to even visit the hospital but they would allow her to 'visit' me. So I had either mum, dad or DH sitting all day in hospital so I could nurse her direct. Then pumped in the evening and morning for milk for her overnight whilst crying and missing her so much. It was so unbelievably hard but I kept her in breastmilk and we are still nursing at 2 years but I still get upset when I think about that time.