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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get annoyed at hospital "policy"

75 replies

RedOnHerBeheadedHead · 22/10/2008 23:07

OK, so a few weeks ago I had a Loop Biopsy to take abnormal cells from the cervix. Last wednesday it got infected so they put me on antibiotics. Then the day before yesterday I started bleeding BADLY with HUGE clots. The Hospital (Royal Gwent) wanted to keep me in overnight but I am exclusively breastfeeding my 5mth old baby.

I got very upset and was told first that he could stay with me, then when it was checked with the ward Sister, it turns out that their policy on Breastfed babies is that they are allowed to stay with a mother up to the age of 3mths. So they wouldn't let him stay with me.

My options were as follows:

  1. Express while there and get DH to feed him with a bottle (he has never had a bottle)
  2. DH could fetch him in when he needed feeding (We live 30mins away if traffic is good)
  3. Discharge myself against their advice
  1. - Like I said, DS has never had a bottle so for me to firstly be away from him and for him to be fed from a bottle (which I had no idea if he would take it or not), would be such a shock to him, and I just wasn't willing to do that.
  2. - We have a 3.10yr old DS1 so for DH to get DS2 to the hospital for a feed would take nearly 2hours when you take into account getting both DC's ready, childcare for DS1 (if available) driving to the hospital, and finding a parking space. There's no way i could have done this to my baby.

So, I ended up discharging myself, against their advice, signing a disclaimer, purely because they would not make an allowance for my exclusively breastfed baby. I didn't wan't to sign myself out - I didn't wan't to go against their advice, but I had to make sure my baby would be fed.

What, logistically, is the difference between an exclusively breastfed 3mth old (which they were willing to accommodate) and an exclusively breastfed 5mth old????

ESPECIALLY WHEN THEIR POLICY IS TO GIVE INFORMATION TO MOTHER'S TO EXCLUSIVELY BREASTFEED FOR 6 MONTHS!!!!!!

I am seeking the advice of my Breastfeeding group HV. I am planning on making a complaint to the hospital, and even thinking of going to the press.
So AIBU to be more than slightly annoyed ?

OP posts:
TimeForACoffinBreak · 23/10/2008 08:27

That's really bad, you should def. complain and go to the press.

MamaHobgoblin · 23/10/2008 13:13

Don't understand why a 3 month would be at less risk of infections than a 5 month? Mad, mad mad. I think you should go public with this and shame them - if it's 'policy' (and WTF is that about, not letting you know their reasons?) then other mothers have been affected by this too.

ggrrr. I'm fuming for you!

pamelat · 23/10/2008 13:17

How ridiculous.

Surely the exclusively fed for 6 months guidance comes from the NHS.

What twaddle to not allow the baby to stay. I would write to my MP and complain.

What would happen in that instance if the mum was too poorly to discharge herself and there was no partner or anyone to care for the baby. I presume then he/she would stay - so whats the difference?

poorbuthappy · 23/10/2008 13:18

Typical Royal Gwent uselessness...deffo go to Argus and Western Mail...

ummadam · 23/10/2008 13:19

Yes it sucks completely - even more difficult is the ill mum who really needs to be in with no friends or relatives to look after the toddler - very difficult.

Miyazaki · 23/10/2008 13:20

I would go to the PALS office and complain now. And tell them if they don't sort it out now you are going to go to the press.

BalloonSlayer · 23/10/2008 13:22

I want to cry reading this.

tengreenbottles · 23/10/2008 13:22

YANBU you should contact PALS at the hospital and explain the situation to them,also explain that as per WHO guidelines you are exclusively breastfeeding until at least six months. The ward sister is clearly out of date when it comes to curent advise re breastfeeding and needs to be put in the picture so this doesnt happen again. By the way ,hope you feel better soon ,has the bleeding stopped ? If you do have to go back to hospital ,tell them you are keeping your baby with you ,there is no way they can forciably remove you and deny medical treatment simply because you need to continue breastfeeding .

UpJacobscreek · 23/10/2008 13:26

Hope you feel better soon ,what a scary time it must be for you right now which makes me even when I hear about hospitals treating patients this way .
There was a similar thread a few days ago I think about a lady worried about her friend who was in hospital and they wouldn't let her BF 5 week old dd stay in she had a kidney infection .

TrinityRhino · 23/10/2008 13:31

Goodness I was just explaining to dd1 yesterday whilst she was in hospital about a sign she has seen

It said only one parent/carer to stay overnight with a child

she said if she has to stay in would she be able to choose

I said yes but if she chose mummy then gecko would stay too

she is 20 months, cosleeps and is demand bf still.

I would kick up one hell of a stink if they did not allow me to keep her in with me

mumto3boys · 23/10/2008 13:32

That is disgusting. When one of my twins was admitted to the childrens ward, I, along with his twin brother were also 'admitted' as they were both breastfed.

I know this is different as it was a childrens ward, but the other twin was given a cot and I was fed all necessary meals as basically I needed them to be able to feed the child that was in hospital.

Peachy · 23/10/2008 13:35

Ah the Gwent

Yes that figures

You must l;iove near me then

The RG refused me a homebirth (have a 6 month old) on grounds of policy

But I fought it and won quite easily

I beleive this hospital expects people to not fight.

My advice wold be to contact groups like LA Leche, ABM, NCt and ask their help in fighting this policy. It may well be that they back down as quickly with you as they did me- ie on receipt of letter.

edam · 23/10/2008 13:37

That's appalling. I'd complain to the trust chief exec (look 'em up on the website), and the director of nursing and the head of midwifery/women's services and cc it to your MP.

Contact your consultant and explain you DO want and need the right medical care for your situation but the hospital is refusing to provide it - can she or he come up with a plan that keeps you safe if you are outside hospital, or have you readmitted with your baby?

(hope you feel better VERY soon)

Peachy · 23/10/2008 13:39

have a look at this

canofworms · 23/10/2008 13:42

This happened to me too when dd was 7 months old but I couldn't discharge myself as I'd had quite major emergency surgery.

I spent 48 hours crying and expressing - we'd just found out that dd is allergic to milk and we hadn't got an altenative for her back then.

I was so angry and upset but couldn't bring myself to complain. I'm a nurse too and who would have looked after dd really - I wasn't well enough and couldn't even pick her up. Nurses couldn't be expected to care for her and it wasn't appropriate to let dh stay on a gynae ward!

Really difficult situation to be in - look forward to hearing how things work out

apostrophe · 23/10/2008 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cupchar · 23/10/2008 13:44

Just refuse to be parted from your child - will the hospital bring in the police to remove the bf child?

crokky · 23/10/2008 13:45

Have only read OP - that is utterly disgraceful and shameful.

When I was a baby (8 months), my mum needed an op and she was allowed to keep me with her (she was bf me and I was on solids).

WalkerBurnie · 23/10/2008 14:27

YANBU. Poor you. You should kick up a massive fuss about this.

Boco · 23/10/2008 14:33

That's awful.

When dd1 was 8 months old I was admitted to hospital for a week. They were amazing - they moved me to a private room on a private ward, for free - so that dd could stay with me. The nurses looked after her and took her at night when she woke up, even bathed her and changed her. I was bfing, but because of the drugs I was on there were a few days where I couldn't and she had to have formula for the first time - they provided her milk and fed her. They gave me a breast pump so that I could keep up m supply. The consultant was brilliant.

So disappointing to hear your story.

jammi · 23/10/2008 15:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

nickytwoooohtimes · 23/10/2008 15:13

I am at this.
FFs, it is advised that babies are exclusively bf till 6 mths as already said.
Stupid bloody hospital!

littleducks · 23/10/2008 15:21

There is a similar thread in breast feeding atm.

Im a stubborn so and so and would have simply refused, i wouldnt have self discharged and i really doubt a dr would discharge so you are technically a hosp patient they can hardly call security can they!

Original poster
RedOnHerBeheadedHead · 23/10/2008 21:36

Ok, so a list of who I complain to is as follows:

  1. PALS
  2. Trust Chief Exec
  3. MP
  4. Argus
  5. Westerm Mail
  6. La Leche
  7. NCT
  8. ABM
  9. Director of Nursing
10. Head of midwifery/women's services

Peachy - fab letter you linked to! - when I have typed up my letter that i have already drafted, i will be posting it in the bit for further comments!

Apostrophe - who do i contact to get mumsnet to do a campain? Have only been on here 5mths (since DS2 was born) and I have to say you are all FABTASTIC!!!!

I was so upset, and so weak that I didn't have any energy to argue there and then, but i really do want to kick up a fuss about it now and will be doing so.

Thankyou, I am feeling much better now and the bleeding has reduced significantly. I am so thankful for all your support and will probably mention that to the press when I contact them. (look out for me won't you! )

OP posts:
Peachy · 23/10/2008 21:51

do I know you btw? if not welcome to mn, there's a few from newport / cwmbran / valleys etc but not many

oh i know who to speak to

she's not on here often- you could try cat- but jofeb03 is or was on some patient liaison thing at the gwent (she's a local doula)