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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want Ds here on the morning of his birthday ??

59 replies

IllegallyBrunette · 22/10/2008 15:57

Ds will 6 on 6th December, a Saturday.

Normally he, and his two sisters stay over at their dads on a Friday night, but on the Friday before his birthday I want them to not go to their dads so that Ds wakes up here with me and his sisters and we can all make a fuss of him.

I think that when I tell xp this, he will object, but I just know that he will not make as much fuss of Ds on his special day as I will, and that he will treat it just like any other day.

I have no objections to xp coming round that day to see ds or even him having ds for a couple of hours later that day, but aibu ??

Oh, if I ask ds what he would prefer, I know he will say to be here.

OP posts:
IllegallyBrunette · 22/10/2008 17:53

He does change it when he has plans though anyway.

I will mention ds staying here and see what he says. If he insist on having him then tbh I am not sure what I will do.

It was only a few weeks ago that I nearly had to stop him having all 3 because he spent the entire weekend interogating all 3 of them, shouting in their faces, because he though I had a new boyfriend.

Those are not the actions of a loving, caring father.

OP posts:
IllegallyBrunette · 22/10/2008 17:53

If ever he can't have them, he just tells me that he can't, he doesn't ask.

OP posts:
Blu · 22/10/2008 18:03

If he insists, do as i suggested in my first post...and definiteley collect them pronto in the morning. Your DS will be v happy once he gets into the swing of it.

MadameCastafiore · 22/10/2008 18:08

YABU - you have to get used to sharing even at Xmas.

IllegallyBrunette · 22/10/2008 18:38

Well he won't be having them overnight xmas eve either, even if it is on a Friday, and that was at both dd's requests. They said it wouldn't feel like xmas, as he isn't having a tree up or any decorations.

OP posts:
ALMummy · 22/10/2008 19:33

IB, going against the main view here. I agree with you. Especially if your ex doesnt make any effort for these occasions then your ds should be where maximum effort will be made to make him feel special.

And I am all for fathers having equal rights but if they dont make the same amount of effort and don't care as much then they are not parenting equally are they?

ALMummy · 22/10/2008 19:34

and therefore should not expect equal treatment when it comes to the "good stuff".

IllegallyBrunette · 22/10/2008 19:45

Thanks ALMummy, that is exactly what I think.

OP posts:
Aimsmum · 22/10/2008 20:14

Message withdrawn

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